Dost thou not desire freedom? Why dost thou so easily give in to your captors, when freedom is within your grasp? Will you not fight until your last dying breath to have the freedom you have so desired? There is good and beauty in your world and it is worth the fight. You have the capacity to love and receive love. If you have lost the will to fight, reach out and ask for help.
Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ---Winston Churchill
I have not looked upon this woman in eight weeks. Previously, I have looked upon her once per week for the past six years. My company says we are to keep a distance between our customers and ourselves. Keep your conversation kind and respectful, but avoid getting personal. In those six years, our conversations would turn to weight loss. We both gained weight, a lot of weight in those six years. I would confess that I was gaining weight and was having difficulties reversing the problem. She would insist she was losing weight, but the obvious told a different story. I looked at a wheelchair due to my weight gain as a loss of freedom. She looked at an electric wheelchair as additional freedom to make getting around easier.
Eight weeks ago, she commented on the weight I have lost. She said that it really shows and she is excited that she has lost 15 pounds recently. I congratulated her and encouraged her to continue. I asked politely, if you are, losing weight and feeling better why are you still using the electric wheelchair. She responded that her feet hurt from the extra weight and it makes getting around easier. I acknowledged her situation; I have felt the pain you mention. (Fighting obesity is not for wimps or sissies.) I added I hope things get better for you. She assured me that they are and that she is walking all over the place at home and in her neighborhood.
This week I looked upon her for the first time since our conversation mentioned above. She is still using the electric wheelchair. However, something immediately caught my attention and brought a tear to my eye. Now I understand her absence for the past weeks; she had her right leg amputated at the knee. Trying not to look shocked or sad, I asked what happened and if she was all right. She said she is a type 2 diabetic and that for the past five years her feet and lower legs have been getting worse. (This time point is when she got an electric wheelchair.) I asked if there was anything, I could do for her. She said no, that she is doing great and continuing to lose weight and feels great. Then as she wheeled past me, her bag on the back of the wheelchair became tangled. Pulled to the ground the contents spilled out. I picked the contents up, placed them back in the bag. Then I hang the bag on the back of the chair. I commented that it looked as though she was going to a picnic. Her response caught me off guard. She said that it was her lunch. The contents consisted of a full-size package of Chips Ahoy, Vanilla Sugar Wafers and three one-liter regular Pepsi's.
I do not judge her, for I have walked in her shoes. I feel sadness for her about how her addiction is winning the battle for her life. What was going to be a temporary way to get around avoiding pain is now a permanent fixture in her life. My beautiful fellow human is falling victim to the high-glycemic drug and cannot find a way out. Her quality of life continues to be stripped from her and has left her imprisoned.
I feel conflicted. I feel anger, sadness, remorse, empathy, outrage, fear and many other emotions. I realize that we are not very different. I wonder why it is so inexpensive to purchase food that kills and so expensive to purchase food that is life preserving and healthy. I wonder why our government allows companies to fill the grocery store isles with products like Pop Tarts and print on the package good source of whole grains. High glycemic, sugar loaded, breakfast cereals have excellent source of vitamins and minerals printed on the boxes. I ask myself why serving sizes are allowed to be broken down into such small portions, as they look far healthier than they are (Soda, etc.). Where is accountability for corporations that feed our world? Yes, we should avoid them and can avoid them. However, when you are suffering an addiction, without even realizing it, going to the grocery store is like an alcoholic shopping in a liquor store. My heart continues to ache for all of us that fight this battle, especially for those who become imprisoned and lose the battle.
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.
---Winston Churchill
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