Is it Courage or Fear that Compels You?

In my life, many things have compelled me to do things outside of my comfort zone. However, if I narrow it down to just two reasons it always comes down to courage or fear. In the original Transformers movie, Megatron chases Sam to the top of the building and asks, “Is it courage or fear that compels you boy?” An excellent line in the screenplay of a computer generated fantasy movie. If I look back on my life thus far, every time I stepped outside of my comfort zone or accomplished the extremely difficult, I did so out of complete courage or total fear. Oddly, it does not matter if courage or fear compelled me; those times are by far the most memorable and enjoyable.

Paralyzed by our fears, why is it that over time we no longer step outside our comfort zones. Far too many of us allow rejection, ridicule, lack of confidence and low self-esteem to guide our lives. We may live happy, comfortable lives, but we no longer take risks. We no longer place ourselves in a position to achieve our dreams. Then as we age, we reason that we are too old for achieving our dreams. We dream and dream about it as though it is real, but never take action to move us towards our dreams. Dreaming has inherent risks. Dreaming or desiring something without action can lead to misery, unhappiness and depression.

When we age our dreams seem to dim with the passing of time. We place a greater urgency on other things. In my case, my struggle to lose weight has taken center stage. I have learned in my life that our physical presence is synonymous with the realization of our dreams. Simply watching American Idol and hearing the comments of the judges and you get the picture. Occasionally someone comes along that breaks this barrier having a rare and special talent, John Candy, Belushi, Susan Boyle. My personal favorite of people to overcome their physical limitations or imperfections is the late Dr. Leo Buscaglia. The first time I saw him he was a bit overweight, but he was incredible and his passion shone so bright you could not see his imperfections.

In the book, Maximum Influence (The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion) by Kurt W. Mortensen it explains this physical attachment to success. The first book ever written on persuasion was Aristotle’s “The Art of Rhetoric.” He called it Ethos. Ethos refers to the personal character of the person. Ethos includes such things as body type, height, movement, dress, grooming, reputation, vocal quality, word choice, eye contact, sincerity, trust, expertise, charisma, etc. Universities and other groups have done studies and have proven that Ethos is one of the main ingredients for success and influence.

Society demands that our Ethos is acceptable before we can move forward and achieve our dreams. I am not saying I agree with this, but it is the way of our world. Therefore, if we do not have enough motivation to lose weight and make lifestyle changes, remember that the realization of our dreams and personal influence is synonymous with our physical presence. However, I am an impatient man and I want it now. I still have 90 pounds to go until I reach my goal. I have come far, but I have far to go. This week I worked out hard and made sure, I did not consume too many calories. I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained 1 pound for the week. I am taking my ex-wife’s explanation so I do not throw my scale in the nearest large body of water… “You’re bloated.” I have no idea what the hell that means or if I should be ticked even more. I always thought “bloated” happened to dead people floating in the ocean for days. Perhaps it is a female’s way of saying, “Look idiot, all you have to do is keep a food and calorie diary staying within your program and avoid salty foods. Keep your workouts in your aerobic target heart rate zone and drink plenty of water.” I comprehend that language.

No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.
---George Chakiris