Dost thou not desire freedom? Why dost thou so easily give in to your captors, when freedom is within your grasp? Will you not fight until your last dying breath to have the freedom you have so desired? There is good and beauty in your world and it is worth the fight. You have the capacity to love and receive love. If you have lost the will to fight, reach out and ask for help.
Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ---Winston Churchill
I have not looked upon this woman in eight weeks. Previously, I have looked upon her once per week for the past six years. My company says we are to keep a distance between our customers and ourselves. Keep your conversation kind and respectful, but avoid getting personal. In those six years, our conversations would turn to weight loss. We both gained weight, a lot of weight in those six years. I would confess that I was gaining weight and was having difficulties reversing the problem. She would insist she was losing weight, but the obvious told a different story. I looked at a wheelchair due to my weight gain as a loss of freedom. She looked at an electric wheelchair as additional freedom to make getting around easier.
Eight weeks ago, she commented on the weight I have lost. She said that it really shows and she is excited that she has lost 15 pounds recently. I congratulated her and encouraged her to continue. I asked politely, if you are, losing weight and feeling better why are you still using the electric wheelchair. She responded that her feet hurt from the extra weight and it makes getting around easier. I acknowledged her situation; I have felt the pain you mention. (Fighting obesity is not for wimps or sissies.) I added I hope things get better for you. She assured me that they are and that she is walking all over the place at home and in her neighborhood.
This week I looked upon her for the first time since our conversation mentioned above. She is still using the electric wheelchair. However, something immediately caught my attention and brought a tear to my eye. Now I understand her absence for the past weeks; she had her right leg amputated at the knee. Trying not to look shocked or sad, I asked what happened and if she was all right. She said she is a type 2 diabetic and that for the past five years her feet and lower legs have been getting worse. (This time point is when she got an electric wheelchair.) I asked if there was anything, I could do for her. She said no, that she is doing great and continuing to lose weight and feels great. Then as she wheeled past me, her bag on the back of the wheelchair became tangled. Pulled to the ground the contents spilled out. I picked the contents up, placed them back in the bag. Then I hang the bag on the back of the chair. I commented that it looked as though she was going to a picnic. Her response caught me off guard. She said that it was her lunch. The contents consisted of a full-size package of Chips Ahoy, Vanilla Sugar Wafers and three one-liter regular Pepsi's.
I do not judge her, for I have walked in her shoes. I feel sadness for her about how her addiction is winning the battle for her life. What was going to be a temporary way to get around avoiding pain is now a permanent fixture in her life. My beautiful fellow human is falling victim to the high-glycemic drug and cannot find a way out. Her quality of life continues to be stripped from her and has left her imprisoned.
I feel conflicted. I feel anger, sadness, remorse, empathy, outrage, fear and many other emotions. I realize that we are not very different. I wonder why it is so inexpensive to purchase food that kills and so expensive to purchase food that is life preserving and healthy. I wonder why our government allows companies to fill the grocery store isles with products like Pop Tarts and print on the package good source of whole grains. High glycemic, sugar loaded, breakfast cereals have excellent source of vitamins and minerals printed on the boxes. I ask myself why serving sizes are allowed to be broken down into such small portions, as they look far healthier than they are (Soda, etc.). Where is accountability for corporations that feed our world? Yes, we should avoid them and can avoid them. However, when you are suffering an addiction, without even realizing it, going to the grocery store is like an alcoholic shopping in a liquor store. My heart continues to ache for all of us that fight this battle, especially for those who become imprisoned and lose the battle.
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.
---Winston Churchill
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Such High Hopes
I was driving through a small town South of where I live when I suddenly slammed on the brakes. I stepped on the brake so hard, it is amazing that my feet did not go through the floorboard and require stopping Fred Flintstone style. You see, I just passed a sign that had the most amazing and hopeful message. After I pried my wedged head out of the space between my rear-view mirror and the windshield I looked back at the sign. Sure enough, my eyes did not deceive me. The sign had no visible business name only wording. It had the following message on it. “Mirror Shock… We Can Help!” Well my goodness, I have been in mirror shock for the past 20 years. I was as excited as Christmas in 1969 when I asked for a Tricycle with a real car steering wheel. Santa and the elves came through like stud-muffins. Christmas day in 1969 I was Hot-Roding around on a shiny red tricycle with a big black car steering wheel (Fortunately Santa’s helper knew how to weld).
I immediately did an illegal U-turn, risking a citation and perhaps a field sobriety test. Then as I entered the center lane to turn left into the strip-mall, a vehicle passes and honks letting me know his team is number one. Apparently, this man did not finish school. He has not learned that we use our index finger for this. I speed through the strip-mall parking lot and cut off an elderly woman to get the last stall. Hey, normally I always allow the elderly to have the stall, but we are talking a cure for mirror shock and it is every mirror-stunned person for his or her self. As I exit the car, I realize I am at a strip-mall. I feel like shouting, hey look at me I have lost enough weight that I have come to a strip-mall. I entertain the thought of stripping, but then have a visualization that my ego cannot handle. I visualized as I stripped, everyone simultaneously tosses his or her Mrs. Fields cookies.
I visually take in the whole strip-mall. I look at the stores and there it is. The store does not have a sign showing what they sell, but the wording is on their windows. Mirror Shock… We Can Help! The windows all have dark tint and I cannot see inside. Finally, a business understands my needs. My imagination begins to run wild. Perhaps they sell mirrors that show you exactly how you want to look. Perhaps they offer discount whole-body liposuction. Go in a fat Russell Crowe and come out the real deal… a Gladiator extraordinaire. Maybe they have a drug that drops 10 pounds a week and shrinks the skin so there will be nothing dragging behind you when the weight is gone. Oh, the possibilities are killing me. They may have a miracle cream, or a miracle beverage. They may have the ultimate magic or silver bullet you choose your phrase. I cannot stand it anymore I must go in.
I enter the store and a young woman is standing at the front counter. I look around and ask, “Is this a hair salon?” Looking at me as if I am some kind of idiot, she says yes. I ask if they do anything besides hair. We do nails, facials and other salon services. I ask this young woman, “How can you help me with mirror shock?” She looks at me and says we have a great hairpiece catalog. How does that solve mirror shock, if I have to look in the mirror to put the hairpiece on in the morning? Laughing, she says you have a point. I am completely disappointed at this point.
Unfortunately, I continue to learn that there are no magic/silver bullets without work involved. Look at the trainer for the Biggest Loser (Jillian Michaels) she is currently being sued for advertising that you can eat chocolate cake and other goodies and lose weight if you take her magic weight loss pills. An attorney is suing her and the manufacturer for a boatload of money. In the fine print, it says if you follow a good nutritional plan, exercise and take the supplement you will lose weight. Well, you can do that without the expensive magic pills. Sorry for the false alarm folks, I guess I have to continue reading, eating and exercising. More appropriately, reading a lot, eating a little, exercising a lot. However, I will keep one eye on the road and one eye on the signs.
"If you didn't need a pill to get fat, why would you need one to get unfat?" ---Author Unknown
“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.”
--- Muhammad Ali
I immediately did an illegal U-turn, risking a citation and perhaps a field sobriety test. Then as I entered the center lane to turn left into the strip-mall, a vehicle passes and honks letting me know his team is number one. Apparently, this man did not finish school. He has not learned that we use our index finger for this. I speed through the strip-mall parking lot and cut off an elderly woman to get the last stall. Hey, normally I always allow the elderly to have the stall, but we are talking a cure for mirror shock and it is every mirror-stunned person for his or her self. As I exit the car, I realize I am at a strip-mall. I feel like shouting, hey look at me I have lost enough weight that I have come to a strip-mall. I entertain the thought of stripping, but then have a visualization that my ego cannot handle. I visualized as I stripped, everyone simultaneously tosses his or her Mrs. Fields cookies.
I visually take in the whole strip-mall. I look at the stores and there it is. The store does not have a sign showing what they sell, but the wording is on their windows. Mirror Shock… We Can Help! The windows all have dark tint and I cannot see inside. Finally, a business understands my needs. My imagination begins to run wild. Perhaps they sell mirrors that show you exactly how you want to look. Perhaps they offer discount whole-body liposuction. Go in a fat Russell Crowe and come out the real deal… a Gladiator extraordinaire. Maybe they have a drug that drops 10 pounds a week and shrinks the skin so there will be nothing dragging behind you when the weight is gone. Oh, the possibilities are killing me. They may have a miracle cream, or a miracle beverage. They may have the ultimate magic or silver bullet you choose your phrase. I cannot stand it anymore I must go in.
I enter the store and a young woman is standing at the front counter. I look around and ask, “Is this a hair salon?” Looking at me as if I am some kind of idiot, she says yes. I ask if they do anything besides hair. We do nails, facials and other salon services. I ask this young woman, “How can you help me with mirror shock?” She looks at me and says we have a great hairpiece catalog. How does that solve mirror shock, if I have to look in the mirror to put the hairpiece on in the morning? Laughing, she says you have a point. I am completely disappointed at this point.
Unfortunately, I continue to learn that there are no magic/silver bullets without work involved. Look at the trainer for the Biggest Loser (Jillian Michaels) she is currently being sued for advertising that you can eat chocolate cake and other goodies and lose weight if you take her magic weight loss pills. An attorney is suing her and the manufacturer for a boatload of money. In the fine print, it says if you follow a good nutritional plan, exercise and take the supplement you will lose weight. Well, you can do that without the expensive magic pills. Sorry for the false alarm folks, I guess I have to continue reading, eating and exercising. More appropriately, reading a lot, eating a little, exercising a lot. However, I will keep one eye on the road and one eye on the signs.
"If you didn't need a pill to get fat, why would you need one to get unfat?" ---Author Unknown
“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.”
--- Muhammad Ali
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Answer Is In The Mirror (Part 2)
This time as I lose weight I have a new sense of relief. I feel that I have finally found the long-term solution. It is not too difficult, but there are difficult times. I have 90-100 pounds to get to my goal, but as of today, I have lost 125 pounds. The majority of this I have lost in the past 13 months. I stood on a cruise ship in the Caribbean last December (2008), realizing my Lap Band was not going to work. I weighed 405 pounds and I looked around me. I noticed that every person that was near or over 400 pounds on the cruise was in a wheelchair. This is going to be my future if I did not find a way to get off the yo-yo lifestyle. Losing weight is never a problem, well losing 40 pounds that is, keeping it off is. I needed to find a way that I could approach weight loss without feeling deprived. Without falling into the pity trap when facing such a huge amount of weight to lose that leads to failure.
I returned home from the cruise and started reading all types of self-improvement books and personal growth books. I noticed that I started to look at the world differently. I found myself seeing possibilities, instead of impossibilities. I learned that changing ones thought process takes sacrifice. I limited television to 3 hours per week. I no longer read negative stories, books, or messages. I read the news headlines so I am aware of what is happening in the world, but do not read the story unless it is positive. I make sure I read or listen to self-improvement books at least 30 minutes per day, preferably one-hour per day. As my attitude improved, I decided to limit my calories to 1200 per day and limit sodium intake to less that 1500mg. The more I read, the more I craved to become a better person. Food started to take a back seat and limiting my caloric intake seemed easier and almost natural. The secret I learned and it is true without a doubt is simple. “We Are What We Think!”
This secret will set you free and change the world you live in. You will feel energized, invigorated and positive. You will have more hope for the future. It will fill you with optimism and delete your pessimism. Be warned that once you learn this formula and apply it, you will not look at things the same ever again. You will feel empowered and want to pass that on to someone else. It will make you see your current life and all those in it that are holding you back. Many people you thought you loved and that they loved you suddenly have this extreme negative vibe and they drain you. You will laugh more, love more, feel more confident, smile more and fear less than ever before. As long as you keep applying this formula, you will achieve more then you ever thought possible in your remaining years. The more you apply it, the more you will succeed at whatever you desire. Despair will only be a term you use to point out an extra tire. I discovered it and I am using it. It is more powerful than weight loss surgery and it is the ultimate lifetime silver bullet. It is the most accurate thing I have ever learned in my life and it is the truth.
When you combine this with a powerful why, you become so committed and hopeful that it is nearly impossible to fail. It will awaken your dreams and I suggest you dream as big as the universe. Your why or goal should be huge. Visualize yourself already there and know exactly what you are going to look like, wear and act. Applying this formula and feeding the mind with so much positive personal growth input allows you to plow through negative moments and events. It almost becomes addictive, as you constantly want to feel uplifted and inspired. When you have a bad day and blow past your caloric goals, you just start over the next day with no guilt or remorse. You went out to dinner with friends and you laughed and allowed your light to shine brightly. You my friend are starting to live a full-life without food being at the center of all your issues for good or ill. Allow yourself to actually plan days off your reduced caloric program and make adjustments. I only drink a protein drink on the days I know I am going to go to a party or go out to eat.
The only way to overcome obesity for the rest of my life is to heal my mind. I have printed this and I see it on my mirror every morning. “If you heal the mind, you can heal the soul. If you heal the soul, you will heal the body.” This is my mantra and I believe it one-hundred percent. Constantly feeding the mind with this type of material can only lead in one direction. It will propel you to a more positive and successful life. I have become a better father, son, brother, friend, employee and neighbor. I look at a problem or a set back and see it as an opportunity for growth and improvement. It took me from a wounded, hurting and sad, anxiety filled person to a person of hope, faith, love and optimism.
Here is more of the harsh, stinging pain of reality. The fact is you will get hungry and you will feel hunger pangs at times. Sitting in the medical clinic as I was going through the Lap Band process, I met some wonderful people. Many have been successful with the Lap Band, but even they confessed that they struggle with hunger and really struggle to keep the weight off. I know five people that have received gastric bypass, four are no longer living, the fifth has gained 70 pounds back, and they are in full panic mode. Weight loss surgery does work, however until the mind is healed it is only a short-term band-aid at best. Our minds are the most powerful computer on the planet. Our minds created the most powerful computers on the planet. Your computer (mind) sits on top of your blank canvas (body) and it is waiting for you to boot it up and paint your picture. Paint the most fabulous and beautiful picture you desire and one that you feel comfortable and confident with. Along the way love, laugh, smile, dream, open-up and let your light shine. Then share it with others and assist others in doing the same. You will love your new life and attitude. I guarantee it.
"If you want to make the world a better place, then look at yourself and make a change." ---Michael Jackson (Man in the Mirror)
"Do or do not, there is no try." ---Yoda (Trying lacks commitment and resolve.)
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” --- Harry S. Truman
Places to Start:
http://www.nightingale.com/
http://www.asamanthinketh.net/
I returned home from the cruise and started reading all types of self-improvement books and personal growth books. I noticed that I started to look at the world differently. I found myself seeing possibilities, instead of impossibilities. I learned that changing ones thought process takes sacrifice. I limited television to 3 hours per week. I no longer read negative stories, books, or messages. I read the news headlines so I am aware of what is happening in the world, but do not read the story unless it is positive. I make sure I read or listen to self-improvement books at least 30 minutes per day, preferably one-hour per day. As my attitude improved, I decided to limit my calories to 1200 per day and limit sodium intake to less that 1500mg. The more I read, the more I craved to become a better person. Food started to take a back seat and limiting my caloric intake seemed easier and almost natural. The secret I learned and it is true without a doubt is simple. “We Are What We Think!”
This secret will set you free and change the world you live in. You will feel energized, invigorated and positive. You will have more hope for the future. It will fill you with optimism and delete your pessimism. Be warned that once you learn this formula and apply it, you will not look at things the same ever again. You will feel empowered and want to pass that on to someone else. It will make you see your current life and all those in it that are holding you back. Many people you thought you loved and that they loved you suddenly have this extreme negative vibe and they drain you. You will laugh more, love more, feel more confident, smile more and fear less than ever before. As long as you keep applying this formula, you will achieve more then you ever thought possible in your remaining years. The more you apply it, the more you will succeed at whatever you desire. Despair will only be a term you use to point out an extra tire. I discovered it and I am using it. It is more powerful than weight loss surgery and it is the ultimate lifetime silver bullet. It is the most accurate thing I have ever learned in my life and it is the truth.
When you combine this with a powerful why, you become so committed and hopeful that it is nearly impossible to fail. It will awaken your dreams and I suggest you dream as big as the universe. Your why or goal should be huge. Visualize yourself already there and know exactly what you are going to look like, wear and act. Applying this formula and feeding the mind with so much positive personal growth input allows you to plow through negative moments and events. It almost becomes addictive, as you constantly want to feel uplifted and inspired. When you have a bad day and blow past your caloric goals, you just start over the next day with no guilt or remorse. You went out to dinner with friends and you laughed and allowed your light to shine brightly. You my friend are starting to live a full-life without food being at the center of all your issues for good or ill. Allow yourself to actually plan days off your reduced caloric program and make adjustments. I only drink a protein drink on the days I know I am going to go to a party or go out to eat.
The only way to overcome obesity for the rest of my life is to heal my mind. I have printed this and I see it on my mirror every morning. “If you heal the mind, you can heal the soul. If you heal the soul, you will heal the body.” This is my mantra and I believe it one-hundred percent. Constantly feeding the mind with this type of material can only lead in one direction. It will propel you to a more positive and successful life. I have become a better father, son, brother, friend, employee and neighbor. I look at a problem or a set back and see it as an opportunity for growth and improvement. It took me from a wounded, hurting and sad, anxiety filled person to a person of hope, faith, love and optimism.
Here is more of the harsh, stinging pain of reality. The fact is you will get hungry and you will feel hunger pangs at times. Sitting in the medical clinic as I was going through the Lap Band process, I met some wonderful people. Many have been successful with the Lap Band, but even they confessed that they struggle with hunger and really struggle to keep the weight off. I know five people that have received gastric bypass, four are no longer living, the fifth has gained 70 pounds back, and they are in full panic mode. Weight loss surgery does work, however until the mind is healed it is only a short-term band-aid at best. Our minds are the most powerful computer on the planet. Our minds created the most powerful computers on the planet. Your computer (mind) sits on top of your blank canvas (body) and it is waiting for you to boot it up and paint your picture. Paint the most fabulous and beautiful picture you desire and one that you feel comfortable and confident with. Along the way love, laugh, smile, dream, open-up and let your light shine. Then share it with others and assist others in doing the same. You will love your new life and attitude. I guarantee it.
"If you want to make the world a better place, then look at yourself and make a change." ---Michael Jackson (Man in the Mirror)
"Do or do not, there is no try." ---Yoda (Trying lacks commitment and resolve.)
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” --- Harry S. Truman
Places to Start:
http://www.nightingale.com/
http://www.asamanthinketh.net/
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The Answer Is In The Mirror (Part 1)
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, personal trainer, nutritionist, or dietitian. I have no formal MD, PHD, or any voodoo degrees. Borrowing from Dave Ramsey, “I do have a PHD in D*U*M*B, been there, done that baby. If I can get the idiot I shave with in the morning to behave, I will be skinny and rich.” Furthermore, my “I’m with Stupid,” t-shirt points straight up to the head on top of this wide-load. I recently received a comment that I want to share with everyone because it is a great comment from which we can all learn.
Anonymous said...
Love your blogs, this one (Aspire to Inspire) was really awesome! It made me cry... I have tried many short fixes, the last was a lapband that I went to mexico for with money borrowed from my husbands' life insurance. The doctor there punctured a hole in my stomach, and after two infections and a surgery for a new port, (we didn't know about the puncture then) I had to have another surgery to remove the lap band (more borrowed money from other sources) and was told I couldn't ever get another one. All this mentally affected me (I realized it later, not immediately) and I have had a struggle to even try again to lose weight. I gained what I had lost back quickly. No other surgery options because still paying bills. This blog really hit home. Keep it up!
I have no idea who sent this, but whom ever you are please accept this cyber-hug. Oh my, I just realized when you add “cyber” to another word it sounds much more exciting and a bit naughty. Sorry, I am man and therefore the perverted cells sometimes go on their own journey. Much like being at a game in a large stadium and watching, the crowds perform the wave. Entertaining to watch, but difficult to properly time and it usually has to go until it fades out. A message to the beautiful anonymous, I have a naughty secret. Keep it quiet, keep it secret and keep it safe… “I have a failed lap-band surgery as well”. Oh, now look what you have made me do, I have listed one more of my life’s failures. Yes, I have debt from it and like you I became depressed as well. However, when I read your comment I can see two differences between us. One, I was somewhat prepared for a lap-band failure because of the Anthony Robbins tape of “If that does not work, then what are you going to try.” It also tells me that without Anthony Robbins you are on the right track and keep trying new things. Two, I discovered the biggest lie and the most covered up secret in the fight against obesity.
First, I want to share the largest pile of crap lie that I have ever been led to believe. Many professionals pound this lie into our heads every day. The pile of pooh is dinosaur big, just like Jurassic Park. Well-meaning folks from all occupations, Doctors, Nurses, Dietitians, Personal Trainers, Scientists, etc., all spread this lie. Oh, I have NEVER heard this lie come out of the mouth of a Chubbinator (my term for those of us that battle obesity). Here it is, and it is going to make you scream when you finally realize it is a lie. I hope that you are in a private setting. “You Are What You Eat”! This is absolute nonsense. There is a person I work with that has two chocolate cake donuts every morning with his coffee. His lunch consists of two fast food sandwiches, fries and an extra-large coke. He does not work out and he has not gained one pound in the past 13 years. Sure, he is a future heart attack and future diabetic but he IS thin. My ex-wife eats more sweets than anyone I know, never works out and after knowing her for 22 years and having two children, she is only 8 pounds heavier than the day I met her. Yes, they have some type of freak metabolism. However, they are thin, healthy people. We slow metabolizing folks can eat the same things once we get things in order. Yes, we will have to be more careful and have a better plan. However, when you learn the secret you will not want to eat junk very often.
I am not saying that you can become thin and eat like the above examples. I am saying that in my experience in fighting obesity that when I focus on food, instead of the secret I always fail and actually get larger. This usually leads to depression and to more destructive emotional high-calorie eating. This past holiday season (October 31st to January 1st) was the first time in 25 years that I did not gain weight. In fact, I actually lost eight pounds during that stretch. I attended more parties and went out to eat more times in that stretch than I have during the past 25 years and I lost weight. I did not focus on food, but focused on my overall health and well-being. I ate most of the foods I like. I did pass on the cakes and doughnuts, but man, I love cookies and I ate a few more of those than I care to admit. Yes, I planned the parties and eating out with my day’s worth of calories. It was not difficult at all and I did not feel deprived.
I can be an impatient man, perhaps my largest character flaw. My father is impatient, I am impatient and my son is even more impatient than I am. Perhaps, it is a male thing, but I have a brother I love that is extremely patient to the point of driving below the speed limit. You see, I throw the kids in the car and pedal to the medal. Park, jump out of the car, run into the theatre, and then shout, “Yes, we made it from home to the theatre in 94 seconds!” Love me or hate me, I want things to be done now and quickly. It took me a lifetime to gain weight to 430 plus pounds. I actually do not know my highest weight. I crash dieted for a month before I actually found a doctor’s office that had a scale that weighed over 400 pounds. My first weigh-in since I topped the 300 mark for the first time. I held my breath and… 430 pounds… I said to the nurse, “Wait and let me set these keys and my wallet down.” Patiently, she said nothing. I climbed back on and looked at the digital read out, it still read 430 pounds. Damn scale, I am sure it is broken because I know those keys weigh at least sixty pounds. The harsh, stinging pain of reality can be alarming. Therefore, how am I going to lose 200 pounds, when I am an inpatient man? The secret taught me that I am NOT trying to lose weight. Did you read that correctly? I am NOT trying to lose weight. I AM trying to live by design and pursue my dreams. Weight loss is a byproduct of living by design. Sounds corny, but when I reveal the secret you will see what I mean.
My wonderful, beautiful anonymous your world will be rocked and you will succeed without any weight loss surgery. Your husband is about to get a better mate than he ever dreamed of. You will love, laugh, live, dream and see the good in all things. This is the ONLY thing that has ever worked for me. It continues to work everyday, and I become more of the person I want to be each day. There are bad days, but this makes them less amplified and more easily forgotten. More people will want to be near you and look to you for guidance. All areas of your life will improve.
First, you must immediately apply this to your thought process. I borrowed it from my beautiful friend's blog page (Wendy). It is a quote from a movie. Trust me, you must apply this every day of your life. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." {Kung Fu Panda}
I wake up every day with the realization that this is it, that there's only one shot at this life and I can either enjoy the ride and live it to its fullest and to my highest potential or I can stay the way I am. ---Author Unknown
Anonymous said...
Love your blogs, this one (Aspire to Inspire) was really awesome! It made me cry... I have tried many short fixes, the last was a lapband that I went to mexico for with money borrowed from my husbands' life insurance. The doctor there punctured a hole in my stomach, and after two infections and a surgery for a new port, (we didn't know about the puncture then) I had to have another surgery to remove the lap band (more borrowed money from other sources) and was told I couldn't ever get another one. All this mentally affected me (I realized it later, not immediately) and I have had a struggle to even try again to lose weight. I gained what I had lost back quickly. No other surgery options because still paying bills. This blog really hit home. Keep it up!
I have no idea who sent this, but whom ever you are please accept this cyber-hug. Oh my, I just realized when you add “cyber” to another word it sounds much more exciting and a bit naughty. Sorry, I am man and therefore the perverted cells sometimes go on their own journey. Much like being at a game in a large stadium and watching, the crowds perform the wave. Entertaining to watch, but difficult to properly time and it usually has to go until it fades out. A message to the beautiful anonymous, I have a naughty secret. Keep it quiet, keep it secret and keep it safe… “I have a failed lap-band surgery as well”. Oh, now look what you have made me do, I have listed one more of my life’s failures. Yes, I have debt from it and like you I became depressed as well. However, when I read your comment I can see two differences between us. One, I was somewhat prepared for a lap-band failure because of the Anthony Robbins tape of “If that does not work, then what are you going to try.” It also tells me that without Anthony Robbins you are on the right track and keep trying new things. Two, I discovered the biggest lie and the most covered up secret in the fight against obesity.
First, I want to share the largest pile of crap lie that I have ever been led to believe. Many professionals pound this lie into our heads every day. The pile of pooh is dinosaur big, just like Jurassic Park. Well-meaning folks from all occupations, Doctors, Nurses, Dietitians, Personal Trainers, Scientists, etc., all spread this lie. Oh, I have NEVER heard this lie come out of the mouth of a Chubbinator (my term for those of us that battle obesity). Here it is, and it is going to make you scream when you finally realize it is a lie. I hope that you are in a private setting. “You Are What You Eat”! This is absolute nonsense. There is a person I work with that has two chocolate cake donuts every morning with his coffee. His lunch consists of two fast food sandwiches, fries and an extra-large coke. He does not work out and he has not gained one pound in the past 13 years. Sure, he is a future heart attack and future diabetic but he IS thin. My ex-wife eats more sweets than anyone I know, never works out and after knowing her for 22 years and having two children, she is only 8 pounds heavier than the day I met her. Yes, they have some type of freak metabolism. However, they are thin, healthy people. We slow metabolizing folks can eat the same things once we get things in order. Yes, we will have to be more careful and have a better plan. However, when you learn the secret you will not want to eat junk very often.
I am not saying that you can become thin and eat like the above examples. I am saying that in my experience in fighting obesity that when I focus on food, instead of the secret I always fail and actually get larger. This usually leads to depression and to more destructive emotional high-calorie eating. This past holiday season (October 31st to January 1st) was the first time in 25 years that I did not gain weight. In fact, I actually lost eight pounds during that stretch. I attended more parties and went out to eat more times in that stretch than I have during the past 25 years and I lost weight. I did not focus on food, but focused on my overall health and well-being. I ate most of the foods I like. I did pass on the cakes and doughnuts, but man, I love cookies and I ate a few more of those than I care to admit. Yes, I planned the parties and eating out with my day’s worth of calories. It was not difficult at all and I did not feel deprived.
I can be an impatient man, perhaps my largest character flaw. My father is impatient, I am impatient and my son is even more impatient than I am. Perhaps, it is a male thing, but I have a brother I love that is extremely patient to the point of driving below the speed limit. You see, I throw the kids in the car and pedal to the medal. Park, jump out of the car, run into the theatre, and then shout, “Yes, we made it from home to the theatre in 94 seconds!” Love me or hate me, I want things to be done now and quickly. It took me a lifetime to gain weight to 430 plus pounds. I actually do not know my highest weight. I crash dieted for a month before I actually found a doctor’s office that had a scale that weighed over 400 pounds. My first weigh-in since I topped the 300 mark for the first time. I held my breath and… 430 pounds… I said to the nurse, “Wait and let me set these keys and my wallet down.” Patiently, she said nothing. I climbed back on and looked at the digital read out, it still read 430 pounds. Damn scale, I am sure it is broken because I know those keys weigh at least sixty pounds. The harsh, stinging pain of reality can be alarming. Therefore, how am I going to lose 200 pounds, when I am an inpatient man? The secret taught me that I am NOT trying to lose weight. Did you read that correctly? I am NOT trying to lose weight. I AM trying to live by design and pursue my dreams. Weight loss is a byproduct of living by design. Sounds corny, but when I reveal the secret you will see what I mean.
My wonderful, beautiful anonymous your world will be rocked and you will succeed without any weight loss surgery. Your husband is about to get a better mate than he ever dreamed of. You will love, laugh, live, dream and see the good in all things. This is the ONLY thing that has ever worked for me. It continues to work everyday, and I become more of the person I want to be each day. There are bad days, but this makes them less amplified and more easily forgotten. More people will want to be near you and look to you for guidance. All areas of your life will improve.
First, you must immediately apply this to your thought process. I borrowed it from my beautiful friend's blog page (Wendy). It is a quote from a movie. Trust me, you must apply this every day of your life. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." {Kung Fu Panda}
I wake up every day with the realization that this is it, that there's only one shot at this life and I can either enjoy the ride and live it to its fullest and to my highest potential or I can stay the way I am. ---Author Unknown
Friday, February 12, 2010
Aspire to Inspire
In an earlier blog entry, I discussed that my gym (Snap Fitness) has mirrors all the way around, like wallpaper. I recently found out that this is because it is a 24-hour gym and for everyone’s safety, we can see the entire facility from our position. This also makes it difficult not to look at someone entering the facility. This past week when I was working out late in the afternoon, I noticed three women walking into the facility. Two of the women were of weight close to their desired weight. The third woman was easily over 400 pounds and possibly more. It was very evident that she was reluctant to be there. By the manner in which her two companions introduced her to a treadmill, it may be the first time she has ever been to a fitness center. Side by side, these three started on a journey.
If I had a dollar for every time that someone I know told me I should try to get accepted on the “Biggest Loser”, I could be lying in a recliner on a white sandy beach in the Caribbean drinking sugar-free fruity drinks with parasols. The last time someone suggested this; I abruptly cut them off and informed them that I could not do it because it is on the same night as my favorite reality show. Naturally, they asked what it is. I responded, “Stupid people and the dumb things they say in public.” They honestly said, “I will check it out as they walked away.” I thought to myself, “no need you are the star of the show.” If you are one that finds inspiration in the Biggest Loser, then you had better not read past this point. The Biggest Loser to me is nothing more than a circus freak show with the network exploiting overweight people to gain an audience. In addition, anyone can lose weight in a semi-controlled environment with personal trainers and team competition. Watching someone relive their most painful moments in life and breaking down while parading in horrible outfits to show as much fat as possible is not inspiring.
I have never known tough love to work on anyone that is overweight, myself included. The damage this show will cause for its participants will be devastating. When they regain the weight and see people they know that saw their weakest moments, it will break them and lead down a road to great despair. My ex-wife’s parents tried this tough love approach and I can honestly say that it did not work and our relationship will never recover. I have forgiven, but unfortunately, it left scar tissue that does not fade. I will probably never feel completely comfortable around them again. My ex-wife’s parents long ago counseled my wife to divorce me. One evening while riding in their car, they have this conversation as if I am not present with my Father-in-Law saying, “Well I guess she likes him like that or she would do something about it.” They even visited my parent’s home and asked them to do something about me as they were counseling their daughter to leave me. Another moment in my own home he looked at me and said, “Well, die then.” These episodes lead to behavior that is more destructive, angered me to a dangerous level and increased my negativity. If you know someone that is in great need of assistance to lose weight, aspire to inspire. I was hurting and needed help and no one knew what to do. Even my ex-wife handled it wrong as she countered her parents’ cruelty with pity and empathy. I was lost and even prayer and faith had been lost.
If you want to save someone do it with a call to action. Stop telling and start doing. Quit advising and start inviting. Lose the pity and show the possibilities. Instead of pointing out the direction, open your hand and invite them to come with you. Instead of belittling and ridiculing, begin empowering and rebuilding. Forget sending them alone, commit to taking the journey with them. Reach out your damn hand and say, “I love you and I desire for you to live the fullest life possible. I do not ask anything of you that I will not ask of myself. I will walk, work, sweat, cry, learn and grow beside you every step of the way. Together we will climb the mountain and together we will conquer our demons. “You cannot help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself” --- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf.
You do not win enormous lifetime weight battles in fat farms, with personal trainers or professional chefs and available doctors. These can provide victories, however most are short-lived and become distant, dimmed days of glory. If they do work, Oprah Winfrey would never battle weight again. Oprah has conquered racial, and gender barriers. Oprah has overcome abuse. She has become one of the most influential and wealthy individuals on the planet. Yet, for all her personal trainers, chefs, doctors and money, Oprah has not yet completely conquered her battle with weight issues.
We conquer a lifetime of weight issues in our own minds. Once we have healed the mind, then we heal the soul. Once we heal the soul, then we heal the body. It is not as simple as calories in or calories out. In the battle of obesity, math and common sense do not rule. It takes something or someone huge to assist in conquering obesity. It takes two friends, roommates or sisters reaching out and saying come with us. We will walk side by side on treadmills and teach you how to work one. We will enter together and leave together. We will stop telling and start doing. We will take the journey with you step by step. Moved by the moment, I smiled and nodded in appreciation and a bit of envy.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
-----Mahatma Gandhi
If I had a dollar for every time that someone I know told me I should try to get accepted on the “Biggest Loser”, I could be lying in a recliner on a white sandy beach in the Caribbean drinking sugar-free fruity drinks with parasols. The last time someone suggested this; I abruptly cut them off and informed them that I could not do it because it is on the same night as my favorite reality show. Naturally, they asked what it is. I responded, “Stupid people and the dumb things they say in public.” They honestly said, “I will check it out as they walked away.” I thought to myself, “no need you are the star of the show.” If you are one that finds inspiration in the Biggest Loser, then you had better not read past this point. The Biggest Loser to me is nothing more than a circus freak show with the network exploiting overweight people to gain an audience. In addition, anyone can lose weight in a semi-controlled environment with personal trainers and team competition. Watching someone relive their most painful moments in life and breaking down while parading in horrible outfits to show as much fat as possible is not inspiring.
I have never known tough love to work on anyone that is overweight, myself included. The damage this show will cause for its participants will be devastating. When they regain the weight and see people they know that saw their weakest moments, it will break them and lead down a road to great despair. My ex-wife’s parents tried this tough love approach and I can honestly say that it did not work and our relationship will never recover. I have forgiven, but unfortunately, it left scar tissue that does not fade. I will probably never feel completely comfortable around them again. My ex-wife’s parents long ago counseled my wife to divorce me. One evening while riding in their car, they have this conversation as if I am not present with my Father-in-Law saying, “Well I guess she likes him like that or she would do something about it.” They even visited my parent’s home and asked them to do something about me as they were counseling their daughter to leave me. Another moment in my own home he looked at me and said, “Well, die then.” These episodes lead to behavior that is more destructive, angered me to a dangerous level and increased my negativity. If you know someone that is in great need of assistance to lose weight, aspire to inspire. I was hurting and needed help and no one knew what to do. Even my ex-wife handled it wrong as she countered her parents’ cruelty with pity and empathy. I was lost and even prayer and faith had been lost.
If you want to save someone do it with a call to action. Stop telling and start doing. Quit advising and start inviting. Lose the pity and show the possibilities. Instead of pointing out the direction, open your hand and invite them to come with you. Instead of belittling and ridiculing, begin empowering and rebuilding. Forget sending them alone, commit to taking the journey with them. Reach out your damn hand and say, “I love you and I desire for you to live the fullest life possible. I do not ask anything of you that I will not ask of myself. I will walk, work, sweat, cry, learn and grow beside you every step of the way. Together we will climb the mountain and together we will conquer our demons. “You cannot help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself” --- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf.
You do not win enormous lifetime weight battles in fat farms, with personal trainers or professional chefs and available doctors. These can provide victories, however most are short-lived and become distant, dimmed days of glory. If they do work, Oprah Winfrey would never battle weight again. Oprah has conquered racial, and gender barriers. Oprah has overcome abuse. She has become one of the most influential and wealthy individuals on the planet. Yet, for all her personal trainers, chefs, doctors and money, Oprah has not yet completely conquered her battle with weight issues.
We conquer a lifetime of weight issues in our own minds. Once we have healed the mind, then we heal the soul. Once we heal the soul, then we heal the body. It is not as simple as calories in or calories out. In the battle of obesity, math and common sense do not rule. It takes something or someone huge to assist in conquering obesity. It takes two friends, roommates or sisters reaching out and saying come with us. We will walk side by side on treadmills and teach you how to work one. We will enter together and leave together. We will stop telling and start doing. We will take the journey with you step by step. Moved by the moment, I smiled and nodded in appreciation and a bit of envy.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
-----Mahatma Gandhi
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A Tale of Two Tales
A quick story about two tales. I had a woman that sees me about twice a week for the past year say something very nice. "Todd, you are looking great. Your clothes are hanging off you and look like they are about to fall off of you. I'm guessing you are between sizes. Keep up the great work and share your secret." The second lady is someone that I have never seen before today and she said this in front of 30 people. "Hey, when I was fat I used to buy really baggy clothes also. You know if you lose weight and workout you will not feel uncomfortable in tight clothing."
I looked at her and I could not help it... I laughed out-loud. I first thought of what an incredibly blunt and abrasive woman this was. Second, for the first time in 20 years a comment about my weight did not bother me. Perhaps it is all the self-development and personal-growth books I am reading, or perhaps it is just plain confidence from knowing I am on the right track. It certainly verified my last post about people thinking I am wearing baggy clothes to hide my fat.
Perhaps it is time for a Speedo! :-O No worries, not even I want to see this in a Speedo... yet! Shoot, I am still 40 pounds from seeing the Speedo without a mirror! :-O
When you get to a plateau, think of it as a landing on the stairway to your goal. And maintenance is a lifelong plateau, so a bit of "rehearsal" for maintenance isn't the worst thing in the world. ----Unknown Author
I looked at her and I could not help it... I laughed out-loud. I first thought of what an incredibly blunt and abrasive woman this was. Second, for the first time in 20 years a comment about my weight did not bother me. Perhaps it is all the self-development and personal-growth books I am reading, or perhaps it is just plain confidence from knowing I am on the right track. It certainly verified my last post about people thinking I am wearing baggy clothes to hide my fat.
Perhaps it is time for a Speedo! :-O No worries, not even I want to see this in a Speedo... yet! Shoot, I am still 40 pounds from seeing the Speedo without a mirror! :-O
When you get to a plateau, think of it as a landing on the stairway to your goal. And maintenance is a lifelong plateau, so a bit of "rehearsal" for maintenance isn't the worst thing in the world. ----Unknown Author
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Irrational Rationalization
I recently had a conversation with a female co-worker. She paid me a great compliment. She said that I was looking great and that my clothes were hanging off me. (I am between sizes. My current clothes are too loose (good feeling); the clothes I have next are a bit too small. I could venture out and purchase the in-between size, but that seems like a waste of money).
I thanked her and said that I wonder if people that do not know me look at me as a fat person wearing baggy clothes to feel thin. (Yes, when I was 430 pounds I did exactly that. It always felt good to know that as fat as I was, I could still be fatter because there was room in my clothing and that meant I was not at my worst). She looked me in the eye and said, “Todd you are starting to sound like a woman”. I laughed and said oh no, a woman in my life would have made this conversation irrationally rational. (Disclaimer: Not all women think this way; however, the women in my life seem to think this way).
I said I am a self-proclaimed, very confused expert in female irrational rationalization. I have was married for more than 21 years. In addition, I have a daughter, three sisters, a mother, three grandmothers (long story), several sisters-in-law, many nieces and nieces-in-law, aunts, and the granddaddy of irrational rationalization… I've had a mother-in-law.
You see, if we were having this same conversation and we reverse the roles, it would not end where I ended it. If I told you that, you looked great and your clothes are hanging off you, you would thank me. Then you would add exactly what I added, about wondering if people thought you were wearing baggy clothing to look and feel thinner than you are. I would then say that is a good thought and start to walk off. However, in my experience you would stop me in my tracks. You would then do this little jewelry musical-box character spin and ask me, “Do these clothes make me look fat?”
The women in my life constantly put me in this type of position. A long time ago, after my wife showered, as she was getting ready for work, she turns and asks, “Do you like my hair curly or straight?” Caramba! Every time a woman does this, she is placing this man on a sole, small rock in the middle of a vast sea, a sea where the water is actually thick, gooey, quicksand! The man quickly realizes that his only escape is a ladder that is hanging from a helicopter that this woman is controlling and it is just out of his highest leaping ability to reach. Answer wrong and there goes the helicopter and the ladder. Answer wrong, but beg for your life and maybe you get the ladder, but then get dragged and bounced off the rugged terrain as she finds a landing pad. Answer correctly and you get the ladder and worldwide peace and love. One problem… the correct answer always has a hitch. It requires that you break a commandment and take one-step closer to the fury of eternal hell. Time after time, if the man is wise he will always choose to deal with it later and hope and pray the Lord understands his decision. Unfortunately, most of us lose our wisdom in the panic of the moment and face a woman scorned or hurt.
Back to the conversation with my co-worker. Therefore, if you asked me if these baggy clothes make you look fat I would have a few different choices, all of which you would hear something completely different from what I say. She shrugged and said that is not true. I said let me give you some examples. If I say, no your baggy clothes look great and show how much weight you have lost. You respond these clothes show how fat I was. If I say, I like your baggy clothes because they make you look sexy. You respond I did not look sexy when I was heavier. If I say, I think your baggy clothes are too loose fitting and you should wear your tight clothes because it shows your curves. You respond my tight clothes show all my bulges. It is true men have selective listening. However, the women in my life have some type of replacement hearing. I say something and they hear something completely different. I love them all, but it sure makes me squirm.
Returning to my then wife’s question, I avoided for two days. Finally, being cornered and no escape in sight, she asked, “Do you like my hair curly or straight?” I like both and think you are beautiful with both. (Well done Todd, got the ladder, world peace, love and are one-step closer to the fury of eternal hell.) You are avoiding my question she added. Caramba! Look, I like both but your curly hair looks gorgeous, hot and I feel like I am out with my own little centerfold model. (I lost my wits in the panic!) You do not like my straight hair. (Oh boy.) I thought you liked my straight hair. (Crap.) I am not sexy and hot with straight hair. (Great, new expensive family photos in the near future.) I don’t look like a centerfold with straight hair. (I did not say that.) You have not liked my straight hair for 21 years. (Pretty sure, I did not say that.) Caramba! Ouch, these rocks hurt! Hey, could you please increase the altitude of the helicopter?!! Ouch!
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”
---Thomas Jefferson
The above quote is accurate for both genders. My ex-wife's cousin posted this on FB. It kind of applies to the beautiful women in my life. TH
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. Give her sperm; she will make a baby. Give her a house; she will give you a home. Give her groceries; she will give you a meal. Give her a smile; she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give... her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!...
I thanked her and said that I wonder if people that do not know me look at me as a fat person wearing baggy clothes to feel thin. (Yes, when I was 430 pounds I did exactly that. It always felt good to know that as fat as I was, I could still be fatter because there was room in my clothing and that meant I was not at my worst). She looked me in the eye and said, “Todd you are starting to sound like a woman”. I laughed and said oh no, a woman in my life would have made this conversation irrationally rational. (Disclaimer: Not all women think this way; however, the women in my life seem to think this way).
I said I am a self-proclaimed, very confused expert in female irrational rationalization. I have was married for more than 21 years. In addition, I have a daughter, three sisters, a mother, three grandmothers (long story), several sisters-in-law, many nieces and nieces-in-law, aunts, and the granddaddy of irrational rationalization… I've had a mother-in-law.
You see, if we were having this same conversation and we reverse the roles, it would not end where I ended it. If I told you that, you looked great and your clothes are hanging off you, you would thank me. Then you would add exactly what I added, about wondering if people thought you were wearing baggy clothing to look and feel thinner than you are. I would then say that is a good thought and start to walk off. However, in my experience you would stop me in my tracks. You would then do this little jewelry musical-box character spin and ask me, “Do these clothes make me look fat?”
The women in my life constantly put me in this type of position. A long time ago, after my wife showered, as she was getting ready for work, she turns and asks, “Do you like my hair curly or straight?” Caramba! Every time a woman does this, she is placing this man on a sole, small rock in the middle of a vast sea, a sea where the water is actually thick, gooey, quicksand! The man quickly realizes that his only escape is a ladder that is hanging from a helicopter that this woman is controlling and it is just out of his highest leaping ability to reach. Answer wrong and there goes the helicopter and the ladder. Answer wrong, but beg for your life and maybe you get the ladder, but then get dragged and bounced off the rugged terrain as she finds a landing pad. Answer correctly and you get the ladder and worldwide peace and love. One problem… the correct answer always has a hitch. It requires that you break a commandment and take one-step closer to the fury of eternal hell. Time after time, if the man is wise he will always choose to deal with it later and hope and pray the Lord understands his decision. Unfortunately, most of us lose our wisdom in the panic of the moment and face a woman scorned or hurt.
Back to the conversation with my co-worker. Therefore, if you asked me if these baggy clothes make you look fat I would have a few different choices, all of which you would hear something completely different from what I say. She shrugged and said that is not true. I said let me give you some examples. If I say, no your baggy clothes look great and show how much weight you have lost. You respond these clothes show how fat I was. If I say, I like your baggy clothes because they make you look sexy. You respond I did not look sexy when I was heavier. If I say, I think your baggy clothes are too loose fitting and you should wear your tight clothes because it shows your curves. You respond my tight clothes show all my bulges. It is true men have selective listening. However, the women in my life have some type of replacement hearing. I say something and they hear something completely different. I love them all, but it sure makes me squirm.
Returning to my then wife’s question, I avoided for two days. Finally, being cornered and no escape in sight, she asked, “Do you like my hair curly or straight?” I like both and think you are beautiful with both. (Well done Todd, got the ladder, world peace, love and are one-step closer to the fury of eternal hell.) You are avoiding my question she added. Caramba! Look, I like both but your curly hair looks gorgeous, hot and I feel like I am out with my own little centerfold model. (I lost my wits in the panic!) You do not like my straight hair. (Oh boy.) I thought you liked my straight hair. (Crap.) I am not sexy and hot with straight hair. (Great, new expensive family photos in the near future.) I don’t look like a centerfold with straight hair. (I did not say that.) You have not liked my straight hair for 21 years. (Pretty sure, I did not say that.) Caramba! Ouch, these rocks hurt! Hey, could you please increase the altitude of the helicopter?!! Ouch!
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”
---Thomas Jefferson
The above quote is accurate for both genders. My ex-wife's cousin posted this on FB. It kind of applies to the beautiful women in my life. TH
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. Give her sperm; she will make a baby. Give her a house; she will give you a home. Give her groceries; she will give you a meal. Give her a smile; she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give... her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Is it Courage or Fear that Compels You?
In my life, many things have compelled me to do things outside of my comfort zone. However, if I narrow it down to just two reasons it always comes down to courage or fear. In the original Transformers movie, Megatron chases Sam to the top of the building and asks, “Is it courage or fear that compels you boy?” An excellent line in the screenplay of a computer generated fantasy movie. If I look back on my life thus far, every time I stepped outside of my comfort zone or accomplished the extremely difficult, I did so out of complete courage or total fear. Oddly, it does not matter if courage or fear compelled me; those times are by far the most memorable and enjoyable.
Paralyzed by our fears, why is it that over time we no longer step outside our comfort zones. Far too many of us allow rejection, ridicule, lack of confidence and low self-esteem to guide our lives. We may live happy, comfortable lives, but we no longer take risks. We no longer place ourselves in a position to achieve our dreams. Then as we age, we reason that we are too old for achieving our dreams. We dream and dream about it as though it is real, but never take action to move us towards our dreams. Dreaming has inherent risks. Dreaming or desiring something without action can lead to misery, unhappiness and depression.
When we age our dreams seem to dim with the passing of time. We place a greater urgency on other things. In my case, my struggle to lose weight has taken center stage. I have learned in my life that our physical presence is synonymous with the realization of our dreams. Simply watching American Idol and hearing the comments of the judges and you get the picture. Occasionally someone comes along that breaks this barrier having a rare and special talent, John Candy, Belushi, Susan Boyle. My personal favorite of people to overcome their physical limitations or imperfections is the late Dr. Leo Buscaglia. The first time I saw him he was a bit overweight, but he was incredible and his passion shone so bright you could not see his imperfections.
In the book, Maximum Influence (The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion) by Kurt W. Mortensen it explains this physical attachment to success. The first book ever written on persuasion was Aristotle’s “The Art of Rhetoric.” He called it Ethos. Ethos refers to the personal character of the person. Ethos includes such things as body type, height, movement, dress, grooming, reputation, vocal quality, word choice, eye contact, sincerity, trust, expertise, charisma, etc. Universities and other groups have done studies and have proven that Ethos is one of the main ingredients for success and influence.
Society demands that our Ethos is acceptable before we can move forward and achieve our dreams. I am not saying I agree with this, but it is the way of our world. Therefore, if we do not have enough motivation to lose weight and make lifestyle changes, remember that the realization of our dreams and personal influence is synonymous with our physical presence. However, I am an impatient man and I want it now. I still have 90 pounds to go until I reach my goal. I have come far, but I have far to go. This week I worked out hard and made sure, I did not consume too many calories. I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained 1 pound for the week. I am taking my ex-wife’s explanation so I do not throw my scale in the nearest large body of water… “You’re bloated.” I have no idea what the hell that means or if I should be ticked even more. I always thought “bloated” happened to dead people floating in the ocean for days. Perhaps it is a female’s way of saying, “Look idiot, all you have to do is keep a food and calorie diary staying within your program and avoid salty foods. Keep your workouts in your aerobic target heart rate zone and drink plenty of water.” I comprehend that language.
No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.
---George Chakiris
Paralyzed by our fears, why is it that over time we no longer step outside our comfort zones. Far too many of us allow rejection, ridicule, lack of confidence and low self-esteem to guide our lives. We may live happy, comfortable lives, but we no longer take risks. We no longer place ourselves in a position to achieve our dreams. Then as we age, we reason that we are too old for achieving our dreams. We dream and dream about it as though it is real, but never take action to move us towards our dreams. Dreaming has inherent risks. Dreaming or desiring something without action can lead to misery, unhappiness and depression.
When we age our dreams seem to dim with the passing of time. We place a greater urgency on other things. In my case, my struggle to lose weight has taken center stage. I have learned in my life that our physical presence is synonymous with the realization of our dreams. Simply watching American Idol and hearing the comments of the judges and you get the picture. Occasionally someone comes along that breaks this barrier having a rare and special talent, John Candy, Belushi, Susan Boyle. My personal favorite of people to overcome their physical limitations or imperfections is the late Dr. Leo Buscaglia. The first time I saw him he was a bit overweight, but he was incredible and his passion shone so bright you could not see his imperfections.
In the book, Maximum Influence (The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion) by Kurt W. Mortensen it explains this physical attachment to success. The first book ever written on persuasion was Aristotle’s “The Art of Rhetoric.” He called it Ethos. Ethos refers to the personal character of the person. Ethos includes such things as body type, height, movement, dress, grooming, reputation, vocal quality, word choice, eye contact, sincerity, trust, expertise, charisma, etc. Universities and other groups have done studies and have proven that Ethos is one of the main ingredients for success and influence.
Society demands that our Ethos is acceptable before we can move forward and achieve our dreams. I am not saying I agree with this, but it is the way of our world. Therefore, if we do not have enough motivation to lose weight and make lifestyle changes, remember that the realization of our dreams and personal influence is synonymous with our physical presence. However, I am an impatient man and I want it now. I still have 90 pounds to go until I reach my goal. I have come far, but I have far to go. This week I worked out hard and made sure, I did not consume too many calories. I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained 1 pound for the week. I am taking my ex-wife’s explanation so I do not throw my scale in the nearest large body of water… “You’re bloated.” I have no idea what the hell that means or if I should be ticked even more. I always thought “bloated” happened to dead people floating in the ocean for days. Perhaps it is a female’s way of saying, “Look idiot, all you have to do is keep a food and calorie diary staying within your program and avoid salty foods. Keep your workouts in your aerobic target heart rate zone and drink plenty of water.” I comprehend that language.
No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.
---George Chakiris
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)