Keep On Keeping On

“I knew I would succeed, because I was running out of ways to fail.” ---Thomas Edison

In weight loss and other endeavors, I have learned through others that you must never quit. Anthony Robbins and the cassette tape I found when I began this journey says it all. If that does not work, then what are you going to try? I have always told my beautiful daughter when something does not work or go as planned, that it is only a failure if she quits. I recognized at an early age that she would give up if something seemed difficult. Even as a toddler, I would pick her up, dust her off and send her back on her way. She is becoming a young woman (heaven help me) and she still possesses this character trait inside her. I am continuously reminding her that a set back only becomes a failure, if she quits. Until then, it is just an educational moment on what does not work. My why is strongly tied to my daughter and her character. I realized that I had to set an example in order for me to get my message to my daughter. I want her to understand that quitting is not an option and that living by design and pursuing what you want most in life will lead to greater happiness.

It was 06/03/2006 and I lie in a hospital in Mexico. I was scheduled for surgery on the sixth and in bad shape. Bronchitis, newly discovered asthma, and weighing in somewhere around 432 pounds. The surgeon came to greet me and informed me that the cardiologist and anesthesiologist had red-flagged my surgery. The surgeon added, that is not such a bad thing because your surgery is scheduled for 06/06/06 and who wants surgery on a day with 666 in it? I spent the next three days alone in a hospital in a foreign country getting well. I was administered an aggressive antibiotics IV, respiratory therapy and a strict liquid laxative diet to shrink the liver. On 6 June 2006, the surgeon visited me again. It turns out that the three days of medical treatment were working; I passed the respiratory test and the cardiology stress test. I also lost 12 pounds from the laxative diet (which was boatloads of fun). On the morning of 7 June 2006, I was the first patient brought into the operating room. I was prepped and one hour later, I woke to the anesthesiologist informing me the surgery went perfect and I was now equipped with the Inamed Lapband.

The first three weeks after surgery were horrible. I cannot begin to describe the buyers’ remorse I was experiencing. In addition, I had an extreme feeling of failure. I could not believe I had to resort to surgery to lose weight. Time healed the wounds and I began to recover. I followed the Lapband program and started seeing results. I was excited and started to believe a new future lied ahead. I lost nearly 80 pounds total and then the unthinkable happened. The band failed or more specifically my body no longer tolerated the band. In order for a Lapband to work properly, you must eat without liquid one-hour prior and one-hour after your meals. Unfortunately, for me, everything I consumed got stuck in the band. This is an experience you will never forget and is painful and scary. In addition, it is dangerous and if you vomit, it can rip your band loose and require emergency surgery. The doctor ordered my band opened up completely and I was told to drink fluid before, during and after eating. I was told to drink with each bite of food to wash the food through the band opening, even though it was opened to the widest possible opening. I was once again a weight-loss failure. I began gaining weight so fast that I got deeply depressed. I gained every pound back and I am sure I added some. I quit weighing and soon was once again back in a size 62-inch waist, only it was tighter than before.

It was at my lowest point, when my experience with my beautiful daughter and her looking at me with disappointment. In addition, she questioned my advice that she live by design and pursue her dreams. “Is that what you are doing Dad. Are you living by design and pursuing your dreams?” They were harsh, stinging words of reality that broke my heart and resonated inside my head for days, weeks, months and now almost two years. (“Anthony Robbins, if that does not work, then what are you going to do?”) My daughter was correct; I was quitting and allowing a set back to become a failure. My experience with the Lapband taught me that even with weight loss surgery that you continue to have the exact same issues that you had before the surgery. I reasoned if the issues were the same, then the only reason I would fail without the band is if I got in the way. The band is a tool, nothing more and nothing less. In December of 2008, following a cruise to the Caribbean at the enormous weight of 430 pounds, I started again. This time I was armed with something I never had in this fight of obesity. This time, I knew that the only thing standing in my way of being thinner and healthy was my brain. My brain was the only thing standing between me and being who I want to be.

The event with my daughter became my why or the catalyst to keep me moving forward. Weight-loss is an emotional slug-fest. One day you are on top of the world feeling great and the next you feel depressed and a dismal failure. I am learning that the key to successful, long-term weight-loss is having more top of the world days than you have dismal days. In fact, for me the correct ratio to keep me moving forward with continued weight-loss is 9:1. If you stick to your program, stay positive for nine days, and have one hugely disastrous day, you will continue to lose weight. Sometimes that ratio has worked at 7:1, but overall to see the scale to continue its decent it is 9:1. In addition, the people you love most are your most dangerous saboteurs. If you are doing this alone, they have no idea what you are dealing with.

This all continues to be a valuable and educational experience for me. Therefore, on 7 June 2010, it will mark the fourth anniversary of my Lapband surgery. The Lapband is little use to me and it worries me that it is inside my body just sitting there. However, I do not regret it and it taught me a valuable lesson. No weight-loss surgery will heal what is wrong. It can be a valuable tool, but the only reason someone succeeds with weight-loss surgery is that this person addresses his or her other issues. These issues include those that cause us to use food as a drug and turn to food for comfort and acceptance. Food was the catalyst for my brain in creating my very own prison. There exists a program that will work for everyone or more specific for you. Just remember that all set backs are just educational experiences, unless you quit. Only quitting will allow it to become a failure. Tomorrow is June 7, 2010 and I will raise a glass filled with my favorite Coke Zero and toast the ineffective Lapband surgery. I will do it with confidence and pride, knowing that I used it as an educational experience instead of a failure.

"What are stumbling blocks and defeat before you, can be stepping stones to victory if you remain determined." ---Author Unknown

"In all your adversities there lies the seeds of equivalent advantages. In every defeat there is a lesson showing you how to win the next time." ---Author Unknown