Doubt

"A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it." ---Alexandre Dumas

As my journey progresses, I am occasionally lost in a cloud of doubt. When I began this journey, the weight would drop on a good week like an ice cube in hot water. As I get thinner the weight drops slower and a great week faithful to my program results in a one, two or if I am lucky three pounds lost. I am not greedy and love the loss. However, one can become accustomed to four, five and six-pound losses. In addition, other things I am working on become overwhelming. They are not overwhelming in terms of I cannot do them, but in terms of if I am adequate to accomplish what I desire.

Doubt is a horrible feeling for me it leaves me depressed. It is not fear that I am experiencing, but doubt. Doubting that I will have the strength to follow the weight loss journey to the completion, because slow does not suit me well. An impatient man and slow is contradictory. Doubt about what I want to do when the weight is gone. Am I intelligent enough, driven enough, educated enough. This world tries to beat you down every chance it gets. In my heart, mind and soul I know I can do all of this. I know I can accomplish anything I desire and as long as I do not quit I will get there. However, others are not so sure and many are not shy about letting you know.

Can a middle-age man finally become the man he has always wanted to be? The man he is meant to be. The man many in his life thought he would be. I must dig in and push to the finish. My journey is a message to my children that it is possible. That a person can change, grow and become more. That pursuing dreams and fighting for your life, health and happiness are worth the battle. I must focus on my why and let it carry me through this fog of doubt. Remain focused and ignore the shouts of inadequacy. Run do not walk through the claw-filled path of doubt that so many others have allowed their dreams and happiness to perish.

"Doubt can only be removed by action." ---Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"Doubt, the essential preliminary of all improvement and discovery, must accompany the stages of man's onward progress. The faculty of doubting and questioning, without which those of comparison and judgment would be useless, is itself a divine prerogative of the reason." ---Albert Pike