Time Out!

That is correct, I am taking a time-out! A friend made me realize that I am doing too much and dealing with too much and I need to take a weekend and chill-out. Good advice and thanks for making me see the big picture. So, we have decided to head for Las Vegas for the weekend. I have a beautiful niece getting married there this weekend and many family members are going to be there. I will enjoy the time seeing family and friends and watching my beautiful children play in the pool. We plan on catching a movie or two, eating at our favorite places (moderation of course) and just enjoying life. I will rest, relax, laugh and find my smile. I plan to reorganize my thoughts and my plan to go forward with passion.

If you are in the Vegas area this weekend look us up. We will be the really white people with no tans, placing gobs of sunscreen on our bodies. Of course, I promise what happens in Vegas... stays in Vegas! :-) Unless I get lucky, then I am telling everyone! Get your mind out of the gutter, I was talking about winning big in the casino! ;-) I finally found out how to take a vacation from myself, see the quote.

"To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change." ---Charles Horton Cooley

Why Miles Levin Was Right

Miles Levin is absolutely correct about taking your best shot. Hit every ball like it is your last ball. Time is precious and there are no guarantees. Like the song says, live like you are dying. We all are... only mystery is when. Live it full... live it bold... live it fun... live it with passion!


Shophie Barton

Full of dreams, full of life. Beautiful, seemingly healthy, talented, full of dreams and passion.


ksl.com - Holladay teen dies following LDS girls camp hike (Gallery Viewer)


Sophie Barton performing Walk Away

Sophie and Tessa Barton | MySpace Music Videos

Love is a Four Letter Word

"A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life." ---Andrew Cohen


LOVE... for our-self... for others... for things... is emotional. It can leave us feeling wonderful, elated, angry, hurt, sad, alone, full, over-joyed and sexy just to mention a few. Right now, I am struggling with love for myself. I feel like I have been trying to rebuild myself from the mess I made for so long; that I am in dire need of a vacation from myself. I want to escape me. No, I am not feeling suicidal or anything like that... just tired. I am over-stressed, full of anxiety and feel like the clock is ticking.

I am happy and optimistic and full of energy. My mind is tired of... well... Todd! I am in the middle of a six-week marketing class. I am in the middle of a weight loss battle. I am in the middle of trying to keep my home and yard in shape. I am in the middle of a financial crisis due to divorce. I am in the middle of reevaluating my career goals and choices. I am in the middle of trying to teach my children to reach for the stars. I am in the middle of a spiritual drought. So, the only thing keeping me smiling is... me. The very person I would like a vacation away from.

Every night I get on my secret communicator and ask Scotty to beam me up and... nothing. I want to leave Todd home and let him deal with all the above stuff. I want to go to the Caribbean and walk on the beautiful white sand beaches. I want a cool drink and soak in the clearest, yet bluest water on earth. I want to watch the dolphins play while I stand on the deck of a cruise ship. I love the Caribbean.

However, I stay and I fight and I do what is necessary. All because of that damn four-letter word... LOVE! Curse that word for it makes life difficult at times. It makes one commit themselves to something that is larger than they are. It makes one optimistic that they are worth fighting for. It makes one believe that there is hope. It makes one want to live and be alive. It makes you get control of yourself over and over until you win the battle. It makes you cry, yell, smile, laugh and feel incredible. Love for yourself, for others, for things... it makes it all worth while.

"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!" ---Anne Frank


"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." ---Rob Cella

Scars Run Deep

I received several messages, most asked I keep them private. It is apparent that many of us have scars for different reasons. Many of us are hurt and continue to hurt from the cruelty this world dishes out. Today, I witnessed a young boy that was dressed in conservative clothing and he was walking and then started to run, when a group of young boys near his same age shouted... "Run Forrest Run." They all laughed and I could see the hurt on this boy's face. If you are different in any way, the cruelty can start at an early age. I have learned through the revised Stephen Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) that those of us being hurt have the power to accept or deny the cruelty. Only we can allow people to continue to hurt us. It is difficult, but it is possible and I have practiced this. It is liberating and encouraging to know that we have the ability to deny this cruelty and brush it aside.


"Beautiful"

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?

'Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(We're the song that's outta tune)
(Full of beautiful mistakes)

(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
The sun will always, always shine!
(But tomorrow we might awake on the other side)

'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today

Suffering Can Make You Stronger

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ---Kahlil Gibran

Being extremely heavy for so many years has certainly left a great many scars. Physical and emotional the extra weight and society took its toll. It is hard to adjust to people actually looking at me and paying attention to me. I am so used to being invisible and doing my best to stay invisible that I am relearning how to function. Some people that never gave me the time of day when I was over 400 pounds suddenly wave or start a conversation. Today a very attractive woman actually continually rubbed my arm while speaking to me. Okay, that action made me feel uncomfortable. I never handled that well when I was thin, shy boy and forever the gentleman. I am sure she was just being friendly, but hey; I am man and it is summer. Everyone is a bit friskier in the summer. The whole time she was doing this, all I could think about was NASA. “Houston, we have a problem. There is about to be an unauthorized launch!” Oh my heavens, I have shared way too much information. I should be embarrassed, I could be embarrassed, but I have been socially inept and do not know how to act. Thankfully, NASA successfully aborted the mission.

The scars have been helpful and hurtful. The hurtful part is when I receive criticism; I occasionally pull back and want to hide. Like days of old, I seek the cold, dark hiding places of the world. I would nurse my wounds in self-pity and closing up to the outside world. The helpful part is also when I receive criticism. I have been to the bottom of my world. I have seen up close and personal my own personal hell. There is little or nothing of value there and it is a breeding ground for misery. Having these scars has left me stronger in mind and body. Someone recently told me that I was looking good, have lost a lot of weight, but you are still fat so keep it up. The scars of past allowed me to just laugh this one off. I came upon a Preacher that I knew many years ago. We have not seen each other for two years. I waved at him and shouted hello. He did not wave or say anything. He just stared at me. After staring at me for about fifteen minutes, he approached. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, I remember you. You have lost many pounds and have lost half of your girth. I smiled and nodded. He reached out his hand and said; now that is what I am talking about Brother. You have that right, Amen Preacher.

"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with." ---Harry Crews

Personal Development: The Plan

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." ---Dale Carnegie

I am finding that the following is very accurate. In weight loss and other areas of life as well. Sadly, Jim Rohn recently passed away just as I became familiar with his teachings. Gratefully, his legacy of improving lives will live on through his books and recordings. This is definitely worth reading. ---Todd

Personal Development: The Plan
- by Jim Rohn

As we all know, our results are only as good as our plan. My mentor, Mr. Shoaff, taught me that it's not what happens that determines the major part of our future, because what happens, happens to us all. Instead, he taught me that the key is what we do about it. If we start the process of change by developing a plan, doing something different in this next year than we did the previous year, it won't matter how small those efforts start.

Start doing different things with the same set of circumstances—the ones we've always had and cannot change—and see what miracles occur. If we start the miracle process and change ourselves, then everything changes. And here's what is interesting: the difference between success and failure is so subtle. Let me explain by giving you my definitions of failure and success. Here it is: Failure is a few errors in judgment repeated every day. The man says, "Well I didn't walk around the block today and it didn't kill me, so it must be okay." No, no, it is that kind of error in judgment that after six years has him out of breath and panting as he walks from his car to his office. You can't make those kinds of mistakes; it will end up costing you.

Now, here is my definition of success: A few simple disciplines practiced every day. Do you see the distinction? A few disciplines. Here's a little phrase we've all heard: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." And my question to you is, "What if that's true?" How simple and easy is that plan?

The fact is, when you look at successful people, you will almost always discover a plan behind their success. They know what they want, they work out a plan that will get them where they want to go, and they work their plan. It is the foundation for success. We as humans have the unique ability to effect change in our lives; it is through our own conscious choice when we engage in the miracle process of personal development that we are able to transform our nature and our lives.

So, what are some good ideas on developing a plan that will work well and take you to the finish line powerfully and in style? Here are some major points to keep in mind:

Develop the Plan for You. Some people are very detail-oriented and they will be able to follow an intricate plan closely. Others are a little more freewheeling and aren't really "detail" people. That is okay too. In all the years of my speaking to audiences worldwide, people have asked the question, "What plan is the right plan?" And my answer: the plan that fits you—your plan, the one you develop that is unique to you and for you. You see, each of us is unique and motivated by different factors, and you've got to develop one that is right for you and fits you. Some plans will not be as intricate as others, but we all must have a plan, along with goals in that plan, to move us along the program. If you are a free spirit type, don't tell yourself you are going to spend two hours a day with a book and tapes and journal. It probably won't happen and you will get discouraged. Whatever your personality, your strengths and your weaknesses, develop the plan around them! This is not a one-plan-fits-all proposition.

Establish Times to Spend Working on the Material. It may be every Sunday night. It may be 20 minutes each morning. It may be in the car listening to the CDs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Whatever it is, set the times and do it. In your step-by-step plan, put down points that you can accomplish every week. They should be specific and achievable. Develop the discipline and take those steps every day, which will move you closer to your goals and where you want to be.

Keep a Journal. Take notes. It may be on paper, it may be on a micro-recorder. Mr. Shoaff taught me not to trust my memory, but to write it down, to find one place to gather the information that effects change. And that advice has served me well all these years. Record the ideas and inspiration that will carry you from where you are to where you want to be. Take notes on the ideas that impact you most. Put down your thoughts and ideas. Brainstorm with yourself on where you are going and what you want to do. Record your dreams and ambitions. Your journals are a gathering place for all the valuable information that you will find. If you are serious about becoming wealthy, powerful, sophisticated, healthy, influential, cultured, unique, if you come across something important, write it down. Two people will listen to the same material and different ideas will come to each one. Use the information you gather and record it for further reflection, for future debate and for weighing the value that it is to you.

Reflect. Create time for reflection—a time to go back over, to study again the things you've learned and the things you've done each day. I call it "running the tapes again" so that the day locks firmly in your memory so that it serves as a tool. As you go through the material in this plan, you will want to spend time reflecting on its significance for you. Regularly set aside time. Here are some good guidelines for times to reflect: At the end of the day. Take a few minutes at the end of each day and go back over the day—who you talked to, who you saw, what they said, what happened and how you felt, what went on. A day is the piece of the mosaic of your life. Next, take a few hours at the end of the week to reflect on the week's activities. I would suggest at least a half hour. Also during that weekly time, take a few minutes to reflect on how this material should be applied to your life and circumstances. Take a half day at the end of the month and a weekend at the end of the year so that you've got it so that it never disappears, to ensure that the past is even more valuable and will serve your future well.

Set Goals. Your plan is the roadmap for how you are going to get to your goals, so you have to have them. Of all the things that changed my life for the better (and most quickly), it was learning how to set goals. Mastering this unique process can have a powerful effect on your life too. I remember shortly after I met Mr. Shoaff, he asked me if I had a list of my goals, and of course I didn't. He suggested to me that because I lacked a set of clearly defined goals that he could guess my bank balance within a few hundred dollars... and he did! Well, Mr. Shoaff immediately began helping me define my view of the future, my dreams. He taught me to set goals because it is the greatest influence on a person's future and the greatest force that will pull a person in the direction that they want to go. But the future must be planned and well-designed to exert a force that pulls you toward the promise of what can be.

Act. Act on your plan. What separates the successful from the unsuccessful so many times is that the successful simply do it. They take action; they aren't necessarily smarter than others, they just work the plan. And the time to act is when the emotion is strong. Because if you don't, here's what happens: it's called the law of diminishing intent. We intend to act when the idea strikes us, when the emotion is high, but if we delay and we don't translate that into action fairly soon, the intention starts to diminish, and a month from now it's cold and a year from now it can't be found. So set up the discipline when the idea is strong, clear and powerful—that's the time to work the plan. Otherwise the emotion is wasted unless you capture the emotion and put it into disciplined activities and translate it into equity. And here's what is interesting: all disciplines affect each other; everything affects everything. That's why the smallest action is important—because the value and benefits that you receive from that one little action will inspire you to do the next one and the next one.

So step out and take action on your plan, because if the plan is good, then the results can be miraculous.

"You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action." ---Anthony Robbins

"No action, no change. Limited action, limited change. Lots of action - Change occurs." ---Catherine Pulsifer

Doubt

"A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it." ---Alexandre Dumas

As my journey progresses, I am occasionally lost in a cloud of doubt. When I began this journey, the weight would drop on a good week like an ice cube in hot water. As I get thinner the weight drops slower and a great week faithful to my program results in a one, two or if I am lucky three pounds lost. I am not greedy and love the loss. However, one can become accustomed to four, five and six-pound losses. In addition, other things I am working on become overwhelming. They are not overwhelming in terms of I cannot do them, but in terms of if I am adequate to accomplish what I desire.

Doubt is a horrible feeling for me it leaves me depressed. It is not fear that I am experiencing, but doubt. Doubting that I will have the strength to follow the weight loss journey to the completion, because slow does not suit me well. An impatient man and slow is contradictory. Doubt about what I want to do when the weight is gone. Am I intelligent enough, driven enough, educated enough. This world tries to beat you down every chance it gets. In my heart, mind and soul I know I can do all of this. I know I can accomplish anything I desire and as long as I do not quit I will get there. However, others are not so sure and many are not shy about letting you know.

Can a middle-age man finally become the man he has always wanted to be? The man he is meant to be. The man many in his life thought he would be. I must dig in and push to the finish. My journey is a message to my children that it is possible. That a person can change, grow and become more. That pursuing dreams and fighting for your life, health and happiness are worth the battle. I must focus on my why and let it carry me through this fog of doubt. Remain focused and ignore the shouts of inadequacy. Run do not walk through the claw-filled path of doubt that so many others have allowed their dreams and happiness to perish.

"Doubt can only be removed by action." ---Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"Doubt, the essential preliminary of all improvement and discovery, must accompany the stages of man's onward progress. The faculty of doubting and questioning, without which those of comparison and judgment would be useless, is itself a divine prerogative of the reason." ---Albert Pike

The Mind of a Child

My children got home today from spending some time at the mountain home with their grandparents. My 5-year-old son has been with them for a little over three weeks and my daughter was with them for a week and a half. My quiet is gone, my calm is gone and food is once again flying off the pantry shelves. First request was from my daughter. Dad, my friends are going to Lagoon (Amusement Park) and I need $60.00 and so-and-so’s Mom wants to know if you will drive us there. Sure, why not, I did not have plans on my day off. Well, I had plans to spend time with BOTH of my children, but perhaps another time.

After taking them to Lagoon, I spent some time hearing about all of my son’s mountain adventures. Then he and I went out to the yard to get some work done. About one hour into my work, my son walks past me. I ask what he is doing. He tells me that he saw some ants and they looked hot so he made them a swimming pool. He asked if I wanted to see the pool he made for the hot ants. Sure, I would love to see the pool you made. During our walk to this pool, I noticed the hose is still running. I follow the hose with my eyes and can see up ahead that the end of the hose is placed into the basement window-well. I arrive at the window-well, it is full of water, and the water is running through the window into the basement. I calmly look at him and say, the pool is full. He agrees and runs to turn the water off. He comes back and I ask him if he is trying to drown the ants. He points out that several are floating and the tiny legs are moving. He then adds, Dad they must wear life vests.

All of this leaves me with just one thought. Damn, I love these kids!

That's a Shocker!

I am sure you are in shock right now, I know I am. The above photo was taken in 1988 and shows me and my beautiful bride to be. We were just kids really, I was barely a young 24 and she was about to turn 20. I placed this photo up because she was going through her scrap booking things and found it. After showing it to me, I realized I am 70 pounds away from weighing the same as I did in this photo. Obviously, I could be a bit thinner. However, I was really comfortable at that weight and was very active. I wore a 34 inch waist and played all types of sports. Actually, when I get to this size again I should actually weigh two-pounds less because of all the hair that I have lost. :-( No worries, bald is beautiful just look at all the guys shaving their heads. Bruce Willis, Patrick Stewart and the list goes on and on. :-)

Last week was good in terms of progress. I lost three-pounds, exercised four days, and stuck to the program really well. I am going to go off today and take my beautiful children out to dinner at the restaurant of their choosing. If we have time we will catch a movie of their choice as well. Even if it means being a bad boy and having to make up for it next week with extra physical activity.

"As youth lives in the future, so the adult lives in the past: No one rightly knows how to live in the present." ---Franz Grillparzer

Abby Sunderland

Update: 6/12/2010

Thankfully, Abby Sunderland has been rescued. Alive and well, but processing the reality of a dream unrealized. There is only one phrase that I know that adequately handles this kind of disappointment.

"You will miss 100% of the shots you do not take." --- Author Unknown

This only becomes a failure if Abby quits, until then it is an educational experience. Perhaps her dream will grow into something different, but it is only failure if she quits. I think beautiful, young Abby will grow, adapt and keep pursuing her dreams... Well Done Abby!






This young lady is officially missing at sea at this moment. If you are familiar with this story, Abby is a young girl that is following her dream to solo-navigate the world in a small sailing vessel (Wild Eyes). Her emergency beacons have been sounded and they have no contact with her. The closest ship is 40 hours away and it will be several hours until an airplane can fly to her area to take a look.

Many people are saying horrific things about her parents and already thinking the worst. I have a young daughter and a very young son and quite frankly, I do not know what to think. Here is what I know from my own journey. Abby has a dream and it took flight when she was 13 years old. Now, at the young age of 16 she is in full pursuit of her dream. Abby and her dream have run into an obstacle, perhaps life threatening. Is this reckless parenting to allow a 16 year old to pursue their dream or is it the ultimate in love for your child? If she were doing something less dangerous would anyone be saying horrible things? If she were following a dream like Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus, would we think ill of the parents?

Abby Sunderland Wrote:
"I plan to be leaving to sail solo around the world this time next year. For three years now I have wanted to do this trip, before my brother ever came up with the idea! Even though I did come up with the idea before Zac ever did, it is due somewhat to him that I am actually doing it now.

I had begun to think that dreams are meant to be no more than dreams and that in reality dreams don't come true. Then my brother left on his trip. It was amazing to see all the support that he got from around the world and to see how everyone worked together to help make his dream reality. Watching him do this really made me believe that I could too."


My feeling is that I admire Abby's parents and think what they are doing is wonderful. As a father the only thing I question is her age. I understand Abby's dream and support her 100%. I would also do all that is possible for my daughter should she choose a dream like this. However, the dream is to sail around the world alone. Is it imperative that she become the youngest? Is being the youngest to do this also part of Abby's dream? If my daughter approached me with this dream I would ask her to wait until she is 18 years old. My reasoning would be that at that age she is of legal age to make this decision on her own and she would have public and family support.

However, should the unthinkable happen and Abby is not safe her parents will come under-fire from all corners. My parents lost a son to death and he was 47 years old. I watched the heartache and suffering they experienced. Is there any difference in losing a child at 16 or 18? Is there any way to handle losing a child at any age?

Abby, I hope and pray you are safe and all is well. If you are found safe and cannot continue, I hope you do not give up on your dream or other dreams. You are an inspiration to many people. If you cannot finish this trip due to equipment failure and desire to try again, please wait until you are at least 18. It is apparent that your family loves you very much. The efforts they have made to assist you in realizing your dream is paramount. I hope your parents know that there are many people that support their efforts in teaching their children to design their lives and pursue their passions and dreams. I pray for the best outcome possible.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.” ---Lyman Frank Baum

Keep On Keeping On

“I knew I would succeed, because I was running out of ways to fail.” ---Thomas Edison

In weight loss and other endeavors, I have learned through others that you must never quit. Anthony Robbins and the cassette tape I found when I began this journey says it all. If that does not work, then what are you going to try? I have always told my beautiful daughter when something does not work or go as planned, that it is only a failure if she quits. I recognized at an early age that she would give up if something seemed difficult. Even as a toddler, I would pick her up, dust her off and send her back on her way. She is becoming a young woman (heaven help me) and she still possesses this character trait inside her. I am continuously reminding her that a set back only becomes a failure, if she quits. Until then, it is just an educational moment on what does not work. My why is strongly tied to my daughter and her character. I realized that I had to set an example in order for me to get my message to my daughter. I want her to understand that quitting is not an option and that living by design and pursuing what you want most in life will lead to greater happiness.

It was 06/03/2006 and I lie in a hospital in Mexico. I was scheduled for surgery on the sixth and in bad shape. Bronchitis, newly discovered asthma, and weighing in somewhere around 432 pounds. The surgeon came to greet me and informed me that the cardiologist and anesthesiologist had red-flagged my surgery. The surgeon added, that is not such a bad thing because your surgery is scheduled for 06/06/06 and who wants surgery on a day with 666 in it? I spent the next three days alone in a hospital in a foreign country getting well. I was administered an aggressive antibiotics IV, respiratory therapy and a strict liquid laxative diet to shrink the liver. On 6 June 2006, the surgeon visited me again. It turns out that the three days of medical treatment were working; I passed the respiratory test and the cardiology stress test. I also lost 12 pounds from the laxative diet (which was boatloads of fun). On the morning of 7 June 2006, I was the first patient brought into the operating room. I was prepped and one hour later, I woke to the anesthesiologist informing me the surgery went perfect and I was now equipped with the Inamed Lapband.

The first three weeks after surgery were horrible. I cannot begin to describe the buyers’ remorse I was experiencing. In addition, I had an extreme feeling of failure. I could not believe I had to resort to surgery to lose weight. Time healed the wounds and I began to recover. I followed the Lapband program and started seeing results. I was excited and started to believe a new future lied ahead. I lost nearly 80 pounds total and then the unthinkable happened. The band failed or more specifically my body no longer tolerated the band. In order for a Lapband to work properly, you must eat without liquid one-hour prior and one-hour after your meals. Unfortunately, for me, everything I consumed got stuck in the band. This is an experience you will never forget and is painful and scary. In addition, it is dangerous and if you vomit, it can rip your band loose and require emergency surgery. The doctor ordered my band opened up completely and I was told to drink fluid before, during and after eating. I was told to drink with each bite of food to wash the food through the band opening, even though it was opened to the widest possible opening. I was once again a weight-loss failure. I began gaining weight so fast that I got deeply depressed. I gained every pound back and I am sure I added some. I quit weighing and soon was once again back in a size 62-inch waist, only it was tighter than before.

It was at my lowest point, when my experience with my beautiful daughter and her looking at me with disappointment. In addition, she questioned my advice that she live by design and pursue her dreams. “Is that what you are doing Dad. Are you living by design and pursuing your dreams?” They were harsh, stinging words of reality that broke my heart and resonated inside my head for days, weeks, months and now almost two years. (“Anthony Robbins, if that does not work, then what are you going to do?”) My daughter was correct; I was quitting and allowing a set back to become a failure. My experience with the Lapband taught me that even with weight loss surgery that you continue to have the exact same issues that you had before the surgery. I reasoned if the issues were the same, then the only reason I would fail without the band is if I got in the way. The band is a tool, nothing more and nothing less. In December of 2008, following a cruise to the Caribbean at the enormous weight of 430 pounds, I started again. This time I was armed with something I never had in this fight of obesity. This time, I knew that the only thing standing in my way of being thinner and healthy was my brain. My brain was the only thing standing between me and being who I want to be.

The event with my daughter became my why or the catalyst to keep me moving forward. Weight-loss is an emotional slug-fest. One day you are on top of the world feeling great and the next you feel depressed and a dismal failure. I am learning that the key to successful, long-term weight-loss is having more top of the world days than you have dismal days. In fact, for me the correct ratio to keep me moving forward with continued weight-loss is 9:1. If you stick to your program, stay positive for nine days, and have one hugely disastrous day, you will continue to lose weight. Sometimes that ratio has worked at 7:1, but overall to see the scale to continue its decent it is 9:1. In addition, the people you love most are your most dangerous saboteurs. If you are doing this alone, they have no idea what you are dealing with.

This all continues to be a valuable and educational experience for me. Therefore, on 7 June 2010, it will mark the fourth anniversary of my Lapband surgery. The Lapband is little use to me and it worries me that it is inside my body just sitting there. However, I do not regret it and it taught me a valuable lesson. No weight-loss surgery will heal what is wrong. It can be a valuable tool, but the only reason someone succeeds with weight-loss surgery is that this person addresses his or her other issues. These issues include those that cause us to use food as a drug and turn to food for comfort and acceptance. Food was the catalyst for my brain in creating my very own prison. There exists a program that will work for everyone or more specific for you. Just remember that all set backs are just educational experiences, unless you quit. Only quitting will allow it to become a failure. Tomorrow is June 7, 2010 and I will raise a glass filled with my favorite Coke Zero and toast the ineffective Lapband surgery. I will do it with confidence and pride, knowing that I used it as an educational experience instead of a failure.

"What are stumbling blocks and defeat before you, can be stepping stones to victory if you remain determined." ---Author Unknown

"In all your adversities there lies the seeds of equivalent advantages. In every defeat there is a lesson showing you how to win the next time." ---Author Unknown

Be Specific

I was sitting down with my daughter while she was watching television. I really do not watch too much television, however on this night I tuned in. My daughter turned to a program that had Jillian Michaels; I guess it is a new program beyond Biggest Loser. In this program, she takes on a family and spends a week with them. I am still no fan of in your face, tough love to gain results. A few things about this episode stuck out in my mind.

I have mentioned that in order to achieve the extraordinary, we need to have a huge why. I believe that if you want to make enormous changes in your life, you need to have a powerful why that you can draw upon during difficult and challenging times. Brian Tracy teaches that if you want to be successful in something, or more specifically a self-made millionaire, you need to become someone completely different.

During this episode, Jillian Michaels obviously chose a family that could succeed. In her interviews, Jillian refers to a why as being specific. She believes that in order for people to make the changes necessary for large weight loss, they must be very specific. Why are you losing weight? In this episode, the family has a pending wedding six weeks after Jillian’s visit. This wedding is the family’s why and a powerful why that propelled them to continue succeeding after Jillian left.

I am absolutely convinced that in order to achieve great things in our lives we do need a powerful why. Being specific with this why is more powerful. It is what will give you a call to action.


“Why would you choose this, when you can have success.” ---Jillian Michaels

"Fitness to me isn't about a crunch or a push up, it's about taking your power back." ---Jillian Michaels

"When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So What! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!" ---Author Unknown