"If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody." ---Chinese Proverb
First, I share the bad news. I am still a bit overweight, but getting thinner daily. Each and every day my confidence grows stronger. Come December or January and it should be fully returned. Look out world because I am not very shy about going after what I want when I am fully confident. Also, I see a few wrinkles around the eyes, where did those come from. Must be smile wrinkles from my journey. My hair is thinner from the weight loss, but this was probably going to happen heavy or thin. Bald is beautiful or is it bald is the new sexy?
Now, let me share some of the good news. Since my last posting, I have been a very good boy. I remained faithful on my program, exercised six of the seven days and stayed positive. I have focused more intently on my why, my goals, dreams and the time-line to accomplish these. The result of this effort is that I crossed the 150-pounds lost threshold. I know I have a long distance to travel, but as recently as twelve months ago, I had doubts I would reach this milestone. I feel great, younger and rejuvenated. I am more positive and outgoing. My overall feeling of wellness is much better than it has been for years. I am happy and feel very positive about the future.
"In spite of the haze of speculation, it is still something of a shock to find myself here, coming to terms with an enormous trust placed in my hands and with the inevitable sense of inadequacy that goes with that." ---Rowan Williams
"Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness." ---Napoleon Hill
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Thinner I Get, the Fatter I Become!
“Every person is responsible for his own looks after 40.” ---Abraham Lincoln
I continue to work on my program and myself. Since my break or timeout, I have lost nearly five pounds. I actually lost two-tenths of a pound on my escape to Las Vegas and the Mountains. Many people have made comments about how good I look or how well I am doing. The positive attention is nice and good for the ego and self-confidence. However, when I look in the mirror or see my reflection in glass as I approach a door, I am shocked. Literally, after losing more than 140 pounds with a mere 60 to go to goal or 85 to being the thinnest adult I have ever been… I am still in mirror shock!
The reflection does not lie. I am fat, just not as fat as I was. In the obesity scale, I have no idea where I currently reside; I do not have the heart to see that I still reside in morbidly obese territory. The weight I have lost has achieved one thing; I now look into mirrors that show more than my face. I learned long ago, to avoid becoming depressed that I needed to limit my mirror viewing to neck-up! Heck, most days I did not even know if my clothes matched. When you are more than 200-pounds over-weight, you hate mirrors and reflections.
Last week I was doing great and having a very good week. Rejuvenated from my trip and doing well on my program; I had received positive feedback from many people. Then, on Thursday, I am at the gas station filling my car’s tank. Suddenly, I watched a person walk into the convenience store and when the smoked glass door closed, I saw it. My entire reflection was looking right back at me. I became frozen with thoughts of shock. The entire week of feeling great was gone in one second of reflection reality. I am a fat person… still! Made me want to curse and throw something at the stupid door. Will I ever feel great about myself? Will I ever look at my body reflection and like what I see? Will I ever develop the confidence I need to continue my journey beyond weight loss? Will there ever come a day when I look into a mirror, glass door or a photograph of myself and not see a huge fat person?
Oddly, when I am in public I do not receive the glares and stares I used to get. According to the CDC 65% of adults in our nation are overweight and 31% are considered obese, which is 30 pounds or more over their healthy weight. I guess in the public’s eyes I am looking like the 31%, but in my eyes, I look like the 432-pound person I once was. I guess this all means one thing. I have more work to do on my body and my mind.
I hold faith and hope that I will arrive at the day when the man in the mirror meets the man in the room’s satisfaction. That one day the man in the room will love the man in the mirror.
"The best mirror is an old friend." ---Proverbs
I continue to work on my program and myself. Since my break or timeout, I have lost nearly five pounds. I actually lost two-tenths of a pound on my escape to Las Vegas and the Mountains. Many people have made comments about how good I look or how well I am doing. The positive attention is nice and good for the ego and self-confidence. However, when I look in the mirror or see my reflection in glass as I approach a door, I am shocked. Literally, after losing more than 140 pounds with a mere 60 to go to goal or 85 to being the thinnest adult I have ever been… I am still in mirror shock!
The reflection does not lie. I am fat, just not as fat as I was. In the obesity scale, I have no idea where I currently reside; I do not have the heart to see that I still reside in morbidly obese territory. The weight I have lost has achieved one thing; I now look into mirrors that show more than my face. I learned long ago, to avoid becoming depressed that I needed to limit my mirror viewing to neck-up! Heck, most days I did not even know if my clothes matched. When you are more than 200-pounds over-weight, you hate mirrors and reflections.
Last week I was doing great and having a very good week. Rejuvenated from my trip and doing well on my program; I had received positive feedback from many people. Then, on Thursday, I am at the gas station filling my car’s tank. Suddenly, I watched a person walk into the convenience store and when the smoked glass door closed, I saw it. My entire reflection was looking right back at me. I became frozen with thoughts of shock. The entire week of feeling great was gone in one second of reflection reality. I am a fat person… still! Made me want to curse and throw something at the stupid door. Will I ever feel great about myself? Will I ever look at my body reflection and like what I see? Will I ever develop the confidence I need to continue my journey beyond weight loss? Will there ever come a day when I look into a mirror, glass door or a photograph of myself and not see a huge fat person?
Oddly, when I am in public I do not receive the glares and stares I used to get. According to the CDC 65% of adults in our nation are overweight and 31% are considered obese, which is 30 pounds or more over their healthy weight. I guess in the public’s eyes I am looking like the 31%, but in my eyes, I look like the 432-pound person I once was. I guess this all means one thing. I have more work to do on my body and my mind.
I hold faith and hope that I will arrive at the day when the man in the mirror meets the man in the room’s satisfaction. That one day the man in the room will love the man in the mirror.
"The best mirror is an old friend." ---Proverbs
Monday, July 5, 2010
Rejuvenated!
Sometimes it takes a vacation or time away to realize what you have been missing. I learned something very valuable during my time away. I really did not set out to learn anything, actually the opposite. I left to get away from everything and reconnect with my children and myself. Relax, recharge and rejuvenate was the mission. However, I learned a very valuable lesson on love. More specifically, I learned why relationships drift apart.
It really does come down to a verb.
Verb:
A: The part of speech that expresses existence, action, or occurrence in most languages.
I heard a talk where a person said they no longer loved their spouse. They added that they have lost the feeling of love for their spouse. The response was interesting and it was from Stephen Covey. He said that marriage love is a verb. The feeling of love is derived from the verb love. A verb is action oriented. Love is a verb and is action oriented, then developing and maintaining the feeling of love is done through action or service. He asked the person, have you done anything wonderful for your spouse lately? Have you serviced your spouse lately? He added, if you lose yourself in service to your spouse the feeling of love has only one direction and that is growth. The feeling of love will grow for your spouse when they see and receive the wonderful service you give. This acknowledgment of service usually will result in a loving response of affection and returned service. He concluded that losing one’s self in loving service to a spouse would result in a strong relationship of selfless love. We cherish and appreciate what we work hard to obtain. Working hard to serve your spouse will strengthen your bond and relationship.
I had the opportunity to listen to a man that was married for 75 years explain his success for marriage. He said, every night without missing a single night I simply told my wife, “Good night beautiful, I love you.” Even if she had me red-hot angry, I still spoke those words before I would drift off to sleep. It had a double effect on our relationship. It made her realize that I indeed loved her and I thought she was beautiful, even if she doubted her own beauty. In addition, it had a reaffirmation effect on me. It reaffirmed that I do love her and think that she is beautiful. On nights where we went to bed angry and I spoke those words, sometimes I heard no response. I did not over-react and just drifted off to sleep after speaking those words. The next day when we would speak for the first time she usually would be far more receptive and occasionally apologize, even if she had done nothing for apologizing. Those six simple words kept our marriage strong and difficult times from becoming more intensified. In tempting times of possible infidelity, those six words would always come to my mind. I realized that no lustful encounter would ever be as fulfilling as the relationship of my beautiful wife and children.
"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." ---Mother Teresa
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." ---Mother Theresa
It really does come down to a verb.
Verb:
A: The part of speech that expresses existence, action, or occurrence in most languages.
I heard a talk where a person said they no longer loved their spouse. They added that they have lost the feeling of love for their spouse. The response was interesting and it was from Stephen Covey. He said that marriage love is a verb. The feeling of love is derived from the verb love. A verb is action oriented. Love is a verb and is action oriented, then developing and maintaining the feeling of love is done through action or service. He asked the person, have you done anything wonderful for your spouse lately? Have you serviced your spouse lately? He added, if you lose yourself in service to your spouse the feeling of love has only one direction and that is growth. The feeling of love will grow for your spouse when they see and receive the wonderful service you give. This acknowledgment of service usually will result in a loving response of affection and returned service. He concluded that losing one’s self in loving service to a spouse would result in a strong relationship of selfless love. We cherish and appreciate what we work hard to obtain. Working hard to serve your spouse will strengthen your bond and relationship.
I had the opportunity to listen to a man that was married for 75 years explain his success for marriage. He said, every night without missing a single night I simply told my wife, “Good night beautiful, I love you.” Even if she had me red-hot angry, I still spoke those words before I would drift off to sleep. It had a double effect on our relationship. It made her realize that I indeed loved her and I thought she was beautiful, even if she doubted her own beauty. In addition, it had a reaffirmation effect on me. It reaffirmed that I do love her and think that she is beautiful. On nights where we went to bed angry and I spoke those words, sometimes I heard no response. I did not over-react and just drifted off to sleep after speaking those words. The next day when we would speak for the first time she usually would be far more receptive and occasionally apologize, even if she had done nothing for apologizing. Those six simple words kept our marriage strong and difficult times from becoming more intensified. In tempting times of possible infidelity, those six words would always come to my mind. I realized that no lustful encounter would ever be as fulfilling as the relationship of my beautiful wife and children.
"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." ---Mother Teresa
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." ---Mother Theresa
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Time Out!
That is correct, I am taking a time-out! A friend made me realize that I am doing too much and dealing with too much and I need to take a weekend and chill-out. Good advice and thanks for making me see the big picture. So, we have decided to head for Las Vegas for the weekend. I have a beautiful niece getting married there this weekend and many family members are going to be there. I will enjoy the time seeing family and friends and watching my beautiful children play in the pool. We plan on catching a movie or two, eating at our favorite places (moderation of course) and just enjoying life. I will rest, relax, laugh and find my smile. I plan to reorganize my thoughts and my plan to go forward with passion.
If you are in the Vegas area this weekend look us up. We will be the really white people with no tans, placing gobs of sunscreen on our bodies. Of course, I promise what happens in Vegas... stays in Vegas! :-) Unless I get lucky, then I am telling everyone! Get your mind out of the gutter, I was talking about winning big in the casino! ;-) I finally found out how to take a vacation from myself, see the quote.
"To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change." ---Charles Horton Cooley
If you are in the Vegas area this weekend look us up. We will be the really white people with no tans, placing gobs of sunscreen on our bodies. Of course, I promise what happens in Vegas... stays in Vegas! :-) Unless I get lucky, then I am telling everyone! Get your mind out of the gutter, I was talking about winning big in the casino! ;-) I finally found out how to take a vacation from myself, see the quote.
"To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change." ---Charles Horton Cooley
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Why Miles Levin Was Right
Miles Levin is absolutely correct about taking your best shot. Hit every ball like it is your last ball. Time is precious and there are no guarantees. Like the song says, live like you are dying. We all are... only mystery is when. Live it full... live it bold... live it fun... live it with passion!
Shophie Barton
Full of dreams, full of life. Beautiful, seemingly healthy, talented, full of dreams and passion.
ksl.com - Holladay teen dies following LDS girls camp hike (Gallery Viewer)
Sophie Barton performing Walk Away
Sophie and Tessa Barton | MySpace Music Videos
Shophie Barton
Full of dreams, full of life. Beautiful, seemingly healthy, talented, full of dreams and passion.
ksl.com - Holladay teen dies following LDS girls camp hike (Gallery Viewer)
Sophie Barton performing Walk Away
Sophie and Tessa Barton | MySpace Music Videos
Love is a Four Letter Word
"A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life." ---Andrew Cohen
LOVE... for our-self... for others... for things... is emotional. It can leave us feeling wonderful, elated, angry, hurt, sad, alone, full, over-joyed and sexy just to mention a few. Right now, I am struggling with love for myself. I feel like I have been trying to rebuild myself from the mess I made for so long; that I am in dire need of a vacation from myself. I want to escape me. No, I am not feeling suicidal or anything like that... just tired. I am over-stressed, full of anxiety and feel like the clock is ticking.
I am happy and optimistic and full of energy. My mind is tired of... well... Todd! I am in the middle of a six-week marketing class. I am in the middle of a weight loss battle. I am in the middle of trying to keep my home and yard in shape. I am in the middle of a financial crisis due to divorce. I am in the middle of reevaluating my career goals and choices. I am in the middle of trying to teach my children to reach for the stars. I am in the middle of a spiritual drought. So, the only thing keeping me smiling is... me. The very person I would like a vacation away from.
Every night I get on my secret communicator and ask Scotty to beam me up and... nothing. I want to leave Todd home and let him deal with all the above stuff. I want to go to the Caribbean and walk on the beautiful white sand beaches. I want a cool drink and soak in the clearest, yet bluest water on earth. I want to watch the dolphins play while I stand on the deck of a cruise ship. I love the Caribbean.
However, I stay and I fight and I do what is necessary. All because of that damn four-letter word... LOVE! Curse that word for it makes life difficult at times. It makes one commit themselves to something that is larger than they are. It makes one optimistic that they are worth fighting for. It makes one believe that there is hope. It makes one want to live and be alive. It makes you get control of yourself over and over until you win the battle. It makes you cry, yell, smile, laugh and feel incredible. Love for yourself, for others, for things... it makes it all worth while.
"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!" ---Anne Frank
"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." ---Rob Cella
LOVE... for our-self... for others... for things... is emotional. It can leave us feeling wonderful, elated, angry, hurt, sad, alone, full, over-joyed and sexy just to mention a few. Right now, I am struggling with love for myself. I feel like I have been trying to rebuild myself from the mess I made for so long; that I am in dire need of a vacation from myself. I want to escape me. No, I am not feeling suicidal or anything like that... just tired. I am over-stressed, full of anxiety and feel like the clock is ticking.
I am happy and optimistic and full of energy. My mind is tired of... well... Todd! I am in the middle of a six-week marketing class. I am in the middle of a weight loss battle. I am in the middle of trying to keep my home and yard in shape. I am in the middle of a financial crisis due to divorce. I am in the middle of reevaluating my career goals and choices. I am in the middle of trying to teach my children to reach for the stars. I am in the middle of a spiritual drought. So, the only thing keeping me smiling is... me. The very person I would like a vacation away from.
Every night I get on my secret communicator and ask Scotty to beam me up and... nothing. I want to leave Todd home and let him deal with all the above stuff. I want to go to the Caribbean and walk on the beautiful white sand beaches. I want a cool drink and soak in the clearest, yet bluest water on earth. I want to watch the dolphins play while I stand on the deck of a cruise ship. I love the Caribbean.
However, I stay and I fight and I do what is necessary. All because of that damn four-letter word... LOVE! Curse that word for it makes life difficult at times. It makes one commit themselves to something that is larger than they are. It makes one optimistic that they are worth fighting for. It makes one believe that there is hope. It makes one want to live and be alive. It makes you get control of yourself over and over until you win the battle. It makes you cry, yell, smile, laugh and feel incredible. Love for yourself, for others, for things... it makes it all worth while.
"Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!" ---Anne Frank
"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." ---Rob Cella
Friday, June 25, 2010
Scars Run Deep
I received several messages, most asked I keep them private. It is apparent that many of us have scars for different reasons. Many of us are hurt and continue to hurt from the cruelty this world dishes out. Today, I witnessed a young boy that was dressed in conservative clothing and he was walking and then started to run, when a group of young boys near his same age shouted... "Run Forrest Run." They all laughed and I could see the hurt on this boy's face. If you are different in any way, the cruelty can start at an early age. I have learned through the revised Stephen Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) that those of us being hurt have the power to accept or deny the cruelty. Only we can allow people to continue to hurt us. It is difficult, but it is possible and I have practiced this. It is liberating and encouraging to know that we have the ability to deny this cruelty and brush it aside.
"Beautiful"
Don't look at me
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?
'Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
No matter what we do
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(We're the song that's outta tune)
(Full of beautiful mistakes)
(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
The sun will always, always shine!
(But tomorrow we might awake on the other side)
'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
"Beautiful"
Don't look at me
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?
'Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
No matter what we do
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(We're the song that's outta tune)
(Full of beautiful mistakes)
(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
The sun will always, always shine!
(But tomorrow we might awake on the other side)
'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today
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