My Compass Is All Messed Up

"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ---Frank A. Clark

Sometimes I just get lost. The past two weeks have been completely off course for me. It all started with my recurring herniated disc, a digestive blood clot that scared the doo-doo out of me and sent me to the doctor. Then learning the details of the torture and death of little Ethan Stacy. This really touched my soul because I have a young son just slightly older. I have not looked at my son the same since. I cannot get enough hugs and my boy is not the touchy, feely type of boy. His nickname around here is, “Mr. Stingy Love Man.” This all distracted me from my program and progression. I have not been bad or gone on horrible eating binges. I have not read or listened to positive and personal growth programs for the past couple of weeks. My company is hurting financially, which has trickled down to us. We took a rather large pay reduction, which Dad has had to try to match dollar for dollar cuts to our monthly budget. My stress levels are through the roof and with the herniated disc and no sleep, this ole boy is strung tighter than a rubber band around the Thanksgiving paper with all the black Friday ads. I have not exercised for two and a half weeks; can barely walk for a few minutes until the pain shoots down my legs.

This has all accumulated into one horrible result. I have not lost weight and actually have gained a few pounds, mostly water as my ring is tight. The lack of exercise and attention to details has caused this. My attitude could be better and I am struggling to refocus on my path and vision for the future. I can be the most stubborn man I know. I always think I can and should do everything myself. I never accept charity and feel very uncomfortable when someone tries to help. My church members offered to cut my grass because of my back problems. I would not hear of it and I spent nine hours out there doing all the spring clean up. I enjoyed the time with my son, but seriously experienced some level eight pains doing so.

Here is my recipe or solution to get back on track. I am going to ‘will” my back into healing faster and I will start exercising tomorrow regardless of the pain. I am not going to worry about the digestive blood clot and I am going to eat my plan regardless of the doctor/surgeon telling me to eat more whole grain carbohydrates. There are other sources of fiber for the digestive system. I will take a deep breath of air every hour and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I will feel the nice breeze and admire the beauty of my world.

It is certain that every journey has difficulties. I am experiencing a few of those difficulties now and will grow stronger from them. I love my life, family, friends and just being here for the journey. I look forward to conquering these challenges. I will hold myself accountable for staying the course and not allow these difficulties to destroy my progress.

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ---Theodore Rubin

"Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their futures in someone else's hands, but not you." ---Jim Rohn