Life is precious and we should handle it with care. I am saddened that I allowed my environment to control more than twenty years of my life, instead of developing the discipline to control it myself. The parties missed, the special events hiding in the corner. There are so many career aspirations and dreams that I allowed to go unrealized. There is a person inside me that you have never met. In the past year, you have had a glimpse of him. He is the man I was meant to be, the father I was meant to be. If I had to narrow it down to one thing, it would have to be, lack of vision for my life. Always have a plan and a plan “b”, in-case something does not develop as you thought. I allowed heartbreak and disappointment to steer my life, instead of me guiding my life. In order to live a life of design, you must develop a strong self-worth. Never allow the heartbreak or disappointment bring you so far off course that it takes enormous efforts and time to get back on track.
I have a plan and a vision of where I want to be in life. I hope and pray that I did not waste too much time and I accomplish what I desire. If I do not, I want you to know that living by design is hard work, but very simple. It is imperative that you first concentrate on your health. Foolishly, I turned to food as a drug to cover the hurt of heartbreak and disappointment. Please do not follow this; it creates an imprisonment that is difficult to escape. Develop discipline and stay in control of your eating habits. Take it from me; there is no food in the past that I loved to the point of creating a prison for myself. Second, always take time for yourself. This includes exercise, meditation, pampering, and self-affirmations. Always devour positive materials and personal growth materials. You can only be the person you desire to be and the person that God wants you to be, if you take care of yourself. I do not mean this in a selfish way, but to be better children of God, better human beings, you must put yourself first. If you are not your best, then you cannot give your best to others. Third is education and it is paramount that you get all you can. Sadly, this is another failure of mine. I attended college, but did not stick around for the diploma. I cannot tell you how much this has cost me in terms of monetary and career accolades. The thing about education is it comes from everything. I desire that you both get a college education and that you stick around for the diploma. However, if for some reason you cannot, never allow the lack of a diploma to limit your quest for knowledge or success. When you discover what it is that you enjoy in life, make that your career goal or dream. Become educated; no bury yourself in all facets of this thing you enjoy and learn all that is necessary to be at the top of your field.
Always have a sense of humor and laugh often. Laughter is the most powerful medicine in life. Long ago, before either of you were born, I spent everyday with a great friend. He was a father figure due to our age difference. I was present everyday for the last two months of his life. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember watching the cancer destroy his body, even though his mind was sharp and wanting to live on. I loved this man and it was difficult for me. However, I learned the power of laughter from him in his most difficult time. He would refuse the pain medication because he wanted to be alert when people visited him. He made jokes, enjoyed everyone’s company, and laughed often. He confided in me that the laughing made the pain go away. Your Mother and I were told by medical experts that we could not have our own children. My friend, Robert “Bob” McArthy told me in his last days that he would talk to someone in heaven about sending a spirit and child our way. I do not know if it happened or the Lord felt we were ready, but miraculously you found your way to us. My beautiful children smile and laugh often in your life.
Is there a Lord and Savior? This is something you will have to find the answer to all on your own. In today’s world, so many people and governments are eliminating God from their lives. Here is what I feel and know about this subject. I believe in a Lord and Savior. In my life when I struggle the most, I have tried to do things on my own. In my life when I allow God in, I seem more confident and less stressed. I am not, nor will I ever be perfect and I believe that through Jesus Christ I can be forgiven of the wrongs I have done. As evidence by our nightly prayers together I have a strong belief in the Lord and Savior. Always be mindful that men are flawed and make mistakes. Religious people can and will make mistakes. Do not hold your belief of a God that loves you captive to a person or group of people that are flawed like everyone else. So many people get angered, quit going to church and turn their back on God because someone in their church did something wrong. My personal and humble opinion is that those that do not believe in God are not telling the complete truth if they are decent and moral people. Why would anyone strive to live a clean, decent and moral life if one believes there are no consequences? Perhaps they fear devolution back into a tadpole or something. I joke here, but honestly living a clean, decent and moral life is difficult. It is far more difficult than succumbing to the lustful temptations that cross our paths in life. In conclusion, on this subject, having a firm belief in the Lord and Savior and living a Christ-like life will do nothing to damage your life. In fact, it may enhance your life on levels you cannot imagine.
Love all things and all people and treat others with respect. Everyone on this planet has a talent or gift. Always look for the good in others and always try to bring that out of them. Even the most negative, mean spirited people have a hidden passion. Find it, ask about it and get them lost in the passion that they love. Always remember that behind every negative, mean spirited person lays a great deal of hurt and pain. Everyone wants to feel loved and important. When speaking with people give them your undivided attention and always treat them as the most important person in your world. The person you are speaking with is at that moment the most important person on the planet and they deserve your attention and respect. Be quick to forgive and slow to anger. Your Mother taught me how to forgive quickly and how to forgive myself. Forgiveness is the most underestimated quality in life. Holding grudges or allowing anger to stew is dangerous and guides your life down paths less desirable. It is heartbreaking when you realize how many lives have been lost and destroyed because people cannot forgive others and themselves. The cost of forgiveness is humility and the rewards in terms of relationships and a more full life are too many to list here. Even more powerful is continued forgiveness. Many people you forgive will continue to do things that hurt you, but do not dwell on it or allow it to phase you negatively. Think of it in terms of living by a river that will flood year after year. People ask why you continue to live by this river when you know it will flood. Because the river is beautiful and allows fresh water, recreation and the most beautiful crops year after year. Yes, every year for two weeks they need to sandbag and occasionally repair damage from flooding, but for 50 weeks of the year they have magnificent rewards from the river.
Strive to live by design and follow your dreams. Create a master plan for your life and live by design. Visualize it often as though you are already there and have achieved all that you desire. Be flexible and always make necessary adjustments to your master plan. I have taken many cruises on large cruise ships and it takes constant adjustments in navigation to arrive at their destination. Many things come at the ship to throw it off course. Wind, rough seas, storms and a plethora of other things constantly try to push the ship off course. Small, frequent adjustments with the end destination in mind allows the ship to arrive at the desired destination. Life is just like this and all types of things and events will come your way to throw you off course. Do not falter and keep one eye on the final destination. Make necessary changes to your master plan, stay positive and you will arrive at your desired destination.
I love you both and you have rocked my world every day since your birth. I continue to work on my master plan for my remaining years. I thought it wise if I publicly put these thoughts for you to reflect on. I do not know what the future holds, nor are there any guarantees on how long my life will last here on Earth. I do know that in spite of my screwing up for slightly more than two decades of my life, I am blessed beyond my worthiness. I have made it my mission in my life to now live up to that which I have been so undeservedly blessed with.
Live your life to the fullest.
Laugh often throughout your life.
Love as many people as you can and share your life with many.
“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” ---Gail Devers
“History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.” ---Winston Churchill
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself.” ---George Bernard Shaw
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