A Little Useless Update

I guess people are so tired of my clothes being so baggy at work, that a supervisor pulled me aside and told me that there was $500.00 on my company card for new clothes. He added that there is another $375.00 in August if you continue to lose weight, so go get some new clothes. Okay, if you are picking up the tab by adding money to my company card… shopping I will go. The results are in and I purchased clothing that will allow me to be in tight and sexy clothes at work throughout summer. I purchased one pair of each size, those that fit now and the next three smaller sizes. Sadly, people will have to suffer my baggy clothes for three more weeks until they finish hemming, embroidering, and delivering the new clothes to my office. They had my purchase history on their computers. The person told me that the largest waist size I purchased was a 64-inch waist. Today’s purchase was for a 46, 44, 42 and 40-inch waist. The 46-inch waist fit comfortably and actually was a bit loose in areas.

I attended my Nephew-in-law’s wedding on Monday and it was a great deal of fun. My ex-wife and children had a blast as well. After the main reception, there was dancing. I looked around and noticed that no over-weight people were dancing, myself included. Many spouses were dancing without their chubby spouse. Why has the world made people feel so poorly of themselves for being over-weight that none of us has the confidence to unabashedly enjoy ourselves? I enjoyed the entire evening and enjoyed connecting with many I have not seen in a long while. Occasionally, I felt a bit uncomfortable when I would look around and see an entire table of people looking directly at me and talking. Of course, I know it was probably positive and I am sure they are shocked at seeing I am one-third smaller overall in body weight. I am currently 70% of the way to my original weight loss goals. When I started at over 430 pounds, I never thought I would actually get to this point. Looking back, I really think it has not been that difficult in terms of suffering. I had visions of starvation, deprivation, crying, constant disappointment, etc. Yes, I have had the occasional episodes of all of them, but developing my why and strengthening my resolve has powered me right through these challenges.

The future looks bright, but filled with challenges. As of today, I sit here with a recurring herniated disc that is excruciating and has me easily at a pain level seven. I cannot sleep, walk, or sit without a great deal of pain. It brings any exercise to a stop. In the past, during my decent into 400+-pound territory I would get depressed and eat all bad things to make me feel better when this would happen. This time, I have stuck to my plan and do not need a food drug to comfort me. In time, this pain will pass and when it does, I will feel even stronger and more motivated knowing I did not seek poor food choices to console me.

"Rather than aiming for being perfect, just aim to be little bit better today than you were yesterday." ---Author Unknown

“When I worked on my game, that's what I thought about. When it happened, I set another goal, a reasonable, manageable goal that I could realistically achieve if I worked hard enough. I guess I approached it with the end in mind. I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and I focused on getting there.” ---Michael Jordan