Discipline

I am finally getting into a zone. I can see and be around tempting foods and just say no. My family has had chocolate chip cookies two days in a row. I have looked at them and thought about eating one, two, three, etc. Then, I looked closely at them and thought to myself that no matter how good it might taste, that taste is short-lived. The damage that the sugar will do to my body will linger. I am beginning to show and have discipline. I am gaining momentum and I do not want to lose it.



"Discipline is the foundation upon which all success is built. Lack of discipline inevitably leads to failure." ---Lessons of Life by Jim Rohn


"We all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." ---Lessons of Life by Jim Rohn

Just a Little Update

I had a doctor appointment on Thursday and here is what I learned. Six years ago I had my first appointment with him and they have me recorded at 432 pounds (Fully clothed and at 9:00am). My blood pressure was 145/90 and my total cholesterol was 305. Thursday, my weight (Late in the day and fully clothed) came in at 298 :) and my blood pressure was 114/68. My total cholesterol is 160 and the ratio of good/bad cholesterol is excellent. He mentioned that since my appointment of a couple months ago for a sore throat that my legs had approximately 50 to 60% less swelling. He noted that is a sign that my insulin resistance is most likely reversing itself. I am scheduled for my A1C blood sugar test in July and it has not been below 5.9 for years, even after losing 80 pounds and eating a low glycemic plan.

He asked me if I had gastric bypass surgery since our appointment for the sore throat. I informed him that I was following a book called Fat to Skinny (Fast and Easy). This brought a smile to his face and he said, I cannot comment on that book, but it is obviously working for you and you should continue. He added, I have never had a patient come back from 400 plus pounds without gastric bypass. In fact, if I recall only one patient has survived more than five years after coming here for the first time being over 400 pounds.

This all has me deep in thought and the only thing that I can think is not very deep or profound. It is the man-child in me dying to get out!

YABBA DABBA DOO... THE FIRST NUMBER ON THE SCALE IS A TWO!!!

(It has been more than 15 years since the scale showed a "2" as the first number). You keep running and hiding goal... I will not quit, I will not lose, I will make you mine! This journey will be mine, the weight loss, the career goals, the passionate, full life. I will design my life with all things and people that are positive, passionate individuals with integrity.

“The test we must set for ourselves is not to march alone but to march in such a way that others wish to join us.” ---Hubert Humphrey

“Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vintage point.” ---Harold B Melchart

It Takes a Strong Why

My friend Helen sent in this awesome message. First, I want to remind my dear, talented friend that I am not a doctor or dietitian/nutritionist, just a guy that has been there done that.

Helen Wrote:
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So, I have a couple of odd questions for you to think about and let me know what you do-
Do you taste your food
Do you chew it all the down or swallow more "whole"?
I'm realizing that I'm not chewing my food.

I'm also not eating "right" again. It's has become extremely important for me tell people when these things are going on in my life. I have found that when I tell people about the negative behavior, I become more mindful of that behavior and it's not so prevalent. Hope that makes sense. I'm a secret eater and I need to expose that behavior to the light.
____________________________________
During my decent into super-morbidly obese, I rarely chewed well and ate things so fast I do not remember tasting the food. One of the things you learn quickly with a Lap Band is to chew food very well. Failure to chew into a paste like texture will result in a painful episode you will not soon forget. Although my Band is opened up wide, it is still in place and does not allow my esophagus/stomach area to expand beyond the opening of the band. Therefore, if I fail to chew well the occasional item will still get stuck and send me walking away in extreme pain and panic. It is a horrible experience. So, yes I do chew very well and very slowly now. Chewing slowly and finely allows you to taste the food and also allows yourself to experience fullness before eating the entire meal.

As for not eating right again. This for me is the mental battle of losing weight. In order for me to be successful at avoiding the bad foods and fast food, a couple of things needed to take place. The first thing was a defining moment. This is like a drug addict hitting rock bottom. My defining moment was the realization that my daughter was disappointed in me and questioning my parenting/guidance for a better life. This defining moment led me on a path of discovery and self-introspection. This path led to my "why" being developed. I desire that my children learn that designing your life and working hard to live by design, not by default is more enjoyable. In the blog entries, "Finish Strong", I mention these events. I explored the remarkable blog that Miles Levin wrote after being diagnosed with cancer. This diagnosis was Miles Levin's defining moment and his path led him to develop his "why" and his successful realization of having made an impact on others in his time here. My "why" and the positive materials I constantly devour is what keeps me driving past every fast food establishment, even when I am hungry.

Telling people helps you avoid negative, harmful behavior. This is a great comment you make and one that helps me as well. Look no farther than this blog. It can be very daunting to open yourself up and pour out your failures for the world to see. It can also be healing and give you an added accountability factor. One thing I never saw coming was the support that would come from this blog. It is extremely humbling and lifts me in bad times to get the occasional message of support. I received a message from a person that asked I keep it private because it had their name on it, but they found my blog and follow it regularly. They added, that they succeed and fail as I do in my blog and find that their success and failure at losing weight is tied to mine. Gulp, that is a little more pressure than I want, but it is also added incentive to do well.

Week Four Following Fat to Skinny (Fast and Easy):
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Total Weight Lost on Fat to Skinny Program: 26 Pounds
Average Weight Lost Per Week: 6.5 Pounds
Workouts This Week: None (Gym locked me out by accident)
Favorite Food This Week: Slow Roasted Beef Brisket with Steamed Broccoli
Daily Water Consumption: 96 ounces plus other beverages
Daily Carbohydrates Consumed: 6 or less
Total Daily Calories: 1150 Per Day Average
__________________________________________________

It comes down to a simple question: what do you want out of life, and what are you willing to do to get it? ---Author Unknown

Listen closely: the only time it's too late to change yourself is when you're dead. Until then, you're simply making excuses or lying to yourself. ---Author Unknown

Losing Weight Is Difficult

Good days, bad days, good weeks, bad weeks, it is often very difficult to keep in mind that it is a new lifestyle and not a short-term diet. Eating pizza, hamburgers, Mexican grill burritos, etc., high calorie; high fat, high carbohydrate foods can no longer be regularity. In order to become and more importantly maintain a thin body, these excursions must become the rare occurrence. I find it odd that the more weight I lose and the better I feel that I have this growing craving for these bad foods. Is it mental or is it physical. I do not know which it is, but I know that those foods delivered me to a place of desperation.

“No person can be confronted with a difficulty which he has not the strength to meet and subdue. Every difficulty can be overcome if rightly dealt with; anxiety is, therefore, unnecessary. The task which cannot be overcome ceases to be a difficulty and becomes an impossibility… and there is only one way of dealing with an impossibility, namely to submit to it.” ---Byways of Blessedness (Borrowed from As a Man Thinketh)

If I agree with the above statement and I do, then I have but two choices. I can learn, grow and deal with my difficulty of becoming thin or I can submit to obesity and all that accompanies it. Sometimes the battle is enough to make even the most stoic man feel like curling up in a fetal position and letting loose the tears. Losing weight is far different from maintaining weight. Maintaining weight allows such the occasional divergence to a Mexican grill for a nice dinner without much damage to our overall maintenance program. However, such an excursion in a weight loss program can be disastrous for the entire week. Six days of faithful, undivided attention to a program is wiped out with one single meal in such an excursion. This can lead to anxiety and depression. Hence, the difficulty in losing weight, one must do more than they did to become obese to become thin. These poor meals took twenty years to deliver me to 430 plus pounds. I want it gone by the two-year mark. It is a very lofty goal to expect to lose 80 pounds in the next four months. I will mark two years in my journey in four months, or in early September to be exact.

Why do I have such a quick goal date to finish losing the additional 230 pounds that I gained over twenty years? Simply, a goal date adds urgency and honestly, I am ready to focus the majority of my efforts on something new. Weight will always be a focus in my life to avoid returning from where I came. However, instead of being the driving focus in my life, it will become a maintenance and adjustment period. I will constantly monitor my weight, perhaps daily and make the necessary adjustments. I am quite ready to continue my journey in other areas. However, for now my weight loss is still the center of focus and will be until I reach my goal. It is gratifying to hear many people comment on how good I am looking or look shocked when they see me for the first time in a while. However, this is also dangerous. Compliments from others and a general “good” feeling about myself, I find myself letting down my guard. I ease up a bit and many times in the past, this led to disaster. People far greater than I; have been denied their dreams because they turned back when they were just one-step away from success. I must maintain laser-like focus throughout the summer and I will reach my goal!

Many of life’s failures are people who had not realized how close they were to success when they gave up.” ---Thomas A Edison

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ---Dale Carnegie

Victim or Victor?

During my journey, I have constantly devoured positive, personal growth information. It has changed the way I view myself, the people around me and in general the entire world. I see the positive things in people and things more quickly than I used to. However, I also see the negative in people and things very quickly. During my decent into the 400-pound plus category, the negative comments, events and people this attracted to me, I became what my environment fed me. I became a serious victim, instead of a victor. I know a few things about being a victim as I work for the mass transit company in my state. I meet and speak with many people with the victim mentality all day long. When we are victims, we tend to blame everyone or anyone for our circumstances. We feel the world is being cruel and perhaps that someone or something owes us for the wrongs in our life. I quietly cursed that my wife and others had a faster metabolism than I did. I cursed because 14-years ago, I earned a job from a large employer in my state and when I left the corporate office to the location of the job, the manager never once looked me in the eyes. He just kept looking up and down my body and repeating we are not hiring. I informed him that the corporate office hired me for his store and this location. He said, the final decision is mine and I really do not need any more employees. I returned to the corporate office and they called him, and after speaking with him told me that, the store manager did not think I would fit in. I returned to the store and walked around for two hours and noticed that not one overweight person worked there. I cursed society and prejudice, never giving thought to the fact that my size indicated discipline and control issues. I was in full-blown victim mentality and blamed the world for my condition. I became angry as hell and the more negative experiences I encountered the more my victim mentality grew. The more my victim mentality grew, the larger my waistline grew.

I know a young man that is confined to a wheelchair and has been since early childhood. He is an adult now and he is one wonderful young man. If anyone has a right to have a victim mentality, it is someone that has had their mobility taken from them without any doing of their own. Every time I see him, I am amazed at the positive energy and independence this young man possesses. One day I was speaking with him in the course of my job with the mass transit company. We are speaking side by side, he in his wheelchair, me standing next to him. Another person approaches; it is a woman in a wheelchair. This woman is not confined to a wheelchair due to any disability, other than obesity. However, she brags about finding a physician and an attorney to sign documents to receive SSI and a wheelchair. Immediately, this woman went off on me shouting, cursing and angry about how the company and all of our employees treat her poorly. No one will get off the bus or the train and load my groceries and on and on. I stood silently, listening with a somewhat sympathetic ear, which gets less sympathetic with each foul, angry word. Suddenly, without warning the young man loudly interrupts. He looked her in the eyes and said, load your own groceries on the bus. Tie them to your chair and if you have too many, then you need other transportation methods. Busses and trains have schedules and none of the operators owes you anything. Your groceries are not their responsibility they are your responsibility. He added, take responsibility for your own life and quit expecting everyone around you to cater to you because you are in a wheelchair. Stunned and silent she drove her electric wheelchair away. The young man looked at me, apologized, and said I hope that does not get you in trouble. I smiled and said if it does; it is worth it because you just taught me a valuable lesson of life. Troy, you are one of my heroes. Through all of your life’s struggles, you have maintained a victor’s mentality. You are a man, husband, father and role model. I am proud that my tax dollars assist you with SSI and an expensive wheelchair. I am proud that in spite of your social worker’s advice you take less SSI and work a part time job to support your family. You my friend are a winner and an inspiration to me.

Two weeks ago, my ex-wife had her windows shattered and purse stolen right in front of her eyes. This is my ex-wife’s first encounter with crime and the “dark” side of society. Sadly, after 13-years with a mass transit company I have seen this dark side of society many times. My ex-wife is an extreme optimist and is always upbeat and smiling. Many people tell her that they wished they could live in “her world”. After this incident, I watched as my ex-wife’s optimism and passion for living left her. I took some time off work to make sure she was not alone and watched as for several days she did not smile, laugh or sleep. I took a proactive approach and took efforts to gather information on those that did this to her. I took her to the site of the event, walked it with her, and pointed out her mistakes. I showed her why she became a victim of crime that night. I explained that the people that did this to you have a victim mentality and they believe others owe them a living. Most likely, they are in some self-created desperate situation and looked for an easy way to remedy the situation. People with victim mentality never utilize introspection to see that their problems are self-inflicted. Do not dwell on this experience and let it destroy your optimism. This world is full of wrongs, but it is filled with things right and wonderful as well. We will be diligent and attentive in the future, but do not develop a victim mentality. You are the one responsible for this. You came back to this location in the dark with no security measures in place. You could have and should have avoided this place entirely. Do not get angry, sad or lose your passion for living. Accept the fact that you messed up, learn from it and move on. Yes, this should be a safe place and you are entitled to go where ever and when ever you want, but society does have a dark side. We must be diligent in making sure we take all precautions necessary to remain outside of environments that can assist this dark side in thriving.

I was more than 430 pounds less than two years ago. I did it, not society or any other outside influence. Yes, many people and events fueled the fire, perhaps even started it and my victim mentality grew along with my negativity and weight. I created my problem and now I must solve my problem. We are all born to be victors; it is our responsibility to remain victors. Last night on the local-news, a young woman that was abused by multiple males that lived with her mother is now leading a program to assist abused children in recovery. She has made the transition from victim to victor and is helping others do the same. If she can do it, if Troy can do it; then I certainly can and must do it. I desire to be a victor and take responsibility for my life. I desire my children to do the same. I, we, you can overcome our difficulties and transition from victim to victor.


Waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel?
Well stride down there and light the damn
thing yourself! ---Samantha O'Connor

"The buck stops here!" ---Harry S. Truman

Author of Fat to Skinny Fast and Easy

dougvarrieur said...

Hi Todd, Happy Easter :) I stopped by this morning to catch up on your last two Sunday reports. It never ceases to amaze me to see the positive health side effects people experience from removing sugar from their intake. Your leg problems disappearing will be a mystery to your doctor and that I find sad, just like another FAT TO SKINNY reader who's Lupus mysteriously went away after 60 days leaving her doctor dumbfounded. I have found the FAT loss many readers experience is sometimes secondary to the other positive results which appear. One of the biggest surprises I get e mail on from readers is their sudden reduction in blood sugar and the reversal of insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes. It comes as a surprise to many even though I focus on the expected benefits in the book. I think most people are so focused on losing weight the other benefits simply come as a bonus. I can’t stress to readers enough how uncomplicated the simple truth can be. We’ve been so bombarded over the years with marketing scams on weight loss even many of our medical professionals are confused. I’d like to share a letter with you that I received from a doctor not long ago which pretty much sums up my thoughts;

Dear Doug, I am proud to be able to contribute in a small way to your efforts to enlighten people as to the true cause of weight gain, diabetes, high blood pressure, high-cholesterol and that thing called “metabolic syndrome”. You should have been a doctor. In many ways what you’re doing now will make a bigger impact on the country’s health than anything a doctor could dream of accomplishing. I am so pleased to have found a book that coincides with everything I have been telling my patients for years. Now I can talk briefly with patients and hand them a book knowing that what is put forth in the text is everything I believe and transcends the stalled stale conversation of low carbs and exercise. This is a seminal work that awakens us to what is all around us but yet invisible. Like water to a fish we have been unable to see what has been in front of us all the time. Water? What water I don’t see any water! Sugar? What sugar? I don’t see any sugar! Unfortunately our bodies do see all the sugar and respond with obesity and “metabolic syndrome”. This book is a must read for anyone interested in taking their health to the next level. Sincerely yours, Dr Paul Cump, D.O.

Remember to stop by my website http://www.fattoskinny.com occasionally; I’ve recently added a FREE support forum and a FREE article download page all focused on helping your success. If you get a chance catch me on the Disney Family Channel at 9:00 am April 7th. I’ll be a guest on “Skinny Wednesday” a segment on the 700 club show with Pat Robertson. Looking forward to reading your reports again in a couple of weeks! All my best…..Doug

The Battle Continues

This month my subscription of Success Magazine is focusing on health and mind. One of the people that they interview is none other than the Biggest Loser’s Jillian Michaels. In her interview, she says that we all know what to do; we all know how to lose weight and keep it off. However, the reason that she is busier than ever and her company is growing rapidly is that it is not easy. Once again, she speaks of obesity being a manifestation of other issues. In addition, she mentions that in order to accomplish something you must become extremely educated on that issue and then you can achieve it. Education, not necessarily a diploma, but proper education plus massive action can propel you to success. She goes on people need to be specific. Why are you losing weight? Because you want, better health is not a specific reason. You must have clarity in determining why you want to lose the weight. Is it for a reunion, a company party, rid your self of a dangerous health issue, finding a mate or something else? I discovered this in the beginning of my journey; my “why” is what propels me through difficult times.

Any program is challenging and all programs can lead to success. If you decide to embark on the Fat to Skinny program as I have, you will miss carbohydrates occasionally. I miss having Papa Murphy’s pizza with my family; oddly, the crust is not my favorite part. I miss whole grain bread, but La Tortilla low carbohydrate tortillas from the health food store has filled in nicely. Instead of a sandwich or toast, I have a wrap or slightly crisp it up in a pan with olive oil. I miss a few other things. However, nothing I miss over powers the excitement I feel from the changes in my body. Even eating the low glycemic food plan, my legs would swell up everyday. My doctor believed this related to me becoming insulin resistant (the phase before type 2 diabetes). Even after losing more than one-hundred pounds and eating 1200 or less calories per day on a low glycemic plan the swelling continued. After two weeks on the Fat to Skinny program, the swelling has greatly lessened and my legs do not sting at the end of the day. I find this to be a very interesting side effect of eating no more than eight carbohydrates or less per day. I am extremely shocked at the amount of fat my body is dumping. I certainly do not want to give you “TMI”, but I had to cut back on my workouts because I was dumping so frequently I could not perform my job. Once again, I must point out that you need to watch your bad fat intake and your sodium intake on this program. In addition, because you may dump fat fast I suggest you drink a great deal of water beyond any other drinks. The only water I can do this with is distilled water. Introduced to distilled water approximately ten years ago, I drink nothing else if possible. We buy it at Walmart for 84 cents a gallon and recycle the bottles. As far as I know, the only bottled water in convenience stores that distills is Smart Water. After drinking distilled water, it is really hard to drink any other type of water.

The following sent to me from a heart health website that I subscribe. It talks of the difficulty of breaking the high carbohydrate and high fat diet of fast food and food in general.

Scientist have previously proven links between drug addiction and fast-food addiction, but now there is a growing body of research that is finding out how junk food is hard wiring our brains for cravings. The latest study, published March 28 in "Nature Neuroscience," likened the affects of high-fat, high-calorie fast food to those of cocaine or heroin,
http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/03/30/fast-food-is-like-heroin-studies-find/


Week 2 at a Glance:
Fat to Skinny Fast and Easy
Number of Days On/Off Program: 6/1 (Nothing terrible, but went to a party that served barbecue ribs and barbecue chicken and pulled barbecue pork.)
Workouts --- Times per week/Minutes/Average Calories Burned: 2/50/750
This Weeks Favorite Food: La Tortilla Tuna Wrap with cheese, mustard, lettuce and dill pickle.
Weeks Weight Lost or Gained +/- and Average: -5lbs. / -11lbs. Ave. (22lbs. Total)


“A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.” ---Charles Schwab

“Our mistakes and failures are always the first to strike us, and outweigh in our imagination what we have accomplished and attained.” ---Goethe