Last night my family sat down to watch a movie. I liked the movie; it was “The Way” with Martin Sheen and son Emilio Estevez. However, about midway through the movie I had a horrible, sinking, sad feeling. The feeling was one of great loss and some despair. The lights were out in our home theater room and I looked over to my right on our curved sofa. On the far right was my son, his face illuminated by the Nintendo 3DS he was playing with his ear buds plugged into his ears. His gorgeous face glowing from the backlight of the 3DS screen. Next to him was my gorgeous daughter. Her face, illuminated from the large screen television appeared angelic.
That very moment I realized for more than the hundredth time that my beautiful children would be leaving in the morning. They would be boarding a train to travel back to their Mother’s home. This time it hurt a great deal more than in times past. Looking at these two amazing children, I realized the enormous cost of divorce. Their Mother has always viewed time from these two as a break. During our marriage, she looked forward to vacations without them as a wonderful break. I never really enjoyed our vacations without them. I always felt like I was leaving the best part of which I am behind and felt that I had left my best friends home. I cannot really explain it properly; I just had this sinking feeling that leaving them behind was wrong.
Sitting there looking at their beautiful faces and all that their personalities encompass, I was saddened. A horrible cross to bear for a man that views his children as two of his best friends and a gift from God. I will forever question why their Mother did not leave these two children in my care while she set out on a new adventure to build a new life, with a new man and a new baby. Her own cousin’s wife did this and it has worked out the best for all those involved, especially the children. Using her cousin’s example, it also removed any lingering bad feelings due to his wife leaving for another man. They all get along splendidly and the children get to visit their Mother whenever possible and she comes back to visit them occasionally. She got her new life, the children stayed in the more stable home with their father and all contention and hurt feelings were eliminated from this selfless act of the Mother.
Early this morning I stood on the train platform with my beautiful children and waited for the train to arrive. A sick feeling came over me as I watched the train pull in to the platform. I hugged and kissed my two beautiful children and best friends and watched them find a seat. As the train pulled away, we wave to one another and blow kisses. Within seconds, the train went from my sight and with it the two most precious things to rock my world. Gone for the week, not to be reunited until the next weekend. I am deeply grateful that I have the custody agreement that I have with their Mother. However, as she never understood in marriage and even understands less in divorce. These two children have rocked my world the day(s) they were born and every day since.
"Children intrinsically understand that a home is not just the bricks and mortar that physically safeguard them, but the love, encouragement and togetherness they experience with their families within the walls of their homes." ---Charlie Young
"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." ---Denis Waitley
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