Honesty and Integrity

"The true measure of life is not length, but honesty." ---John Lyly

Honesty: the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. 3. freedom from deceit or fraud.
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

Lately I have been amazed, hurt and even dumbfounded by the numbers of people that simply do not abide by these two principles. In the past few months, I have encountered some amazing and wonderful people that make a habit of frequent lying or making choices void of integrity. This has left me with a very sour taste in my mouth. Honesty and Integrity are the measure of a human. In two instances, I actually attempted to allow them an escape to correct situations I knew not to be true. Literally, both of these individuals not only continued with the lie, they added more to it to complicate matters.

Sadly, these two individuals were very aware that I knew the truth. Yet, they went ahead with the added lies. How does one respond to this from a friend? I certainly am no expert. I felt hurt, betrayed and wondered why they think so little of me that they would not be honest. I can say from experience that adultery involves the greatest deceit you will ever encounter and the person that does this will most likely never return to a completely honest life. I know there are exceptions to every rule. In Texas, Ross Perot and the companies he owns fire anyone involved in adultery. Their philosophy is, if your spouse cannot trust you how can your employer. However, what about those that have not committed adultery, where has their dishonesty developed?

"Dishonest people conceal their faults from themselves as well as others, honest people know and confess them." ---Christian Nevell Bovee

Perhaps it stems from the desire to be more than we are. Maybe one is compelled to lying because they want others to think of them in grand terms. Living a life, you are not fond of, proud of, happy with or desire can lead you to make others believe it is all you want and more. Becoming stuck in a life you thought would never become yours and paralyzed with fear to do something about it, could possibly be the catalyst for throwing honesty and integrity in the trash. How does one escape a life they do not desire and build the life they desire when paralyzed by fear? How does one live by design, when they have been living by default for so long?

Each of us has to find that answer for ourselves. I can say without hesitation that it begins with accountability, honesty and integrity. We accept our situation, take accountability and all that we have done to place ourselves in this situation. No one but ourselves is to blame for the bad situations we find ourselves in during our lives. We cannot point fingers or paint a different picture with false words. Sadly, what these amazing people do not realize is that with every false word, they strengthen the chains that hold them. The loss of honesty and integrity become the bars that confine and imprison them. They lose friends, trusted partners, opportunities, and destroy relationships of all types. Lying and the loss of integrity force an individual into a life of default.

I know of only one way to escape a life of default and that is through accountability. Honesty, integrity and a strong belief in yourself will propel you to a new beginning. Once you start down that path, develop a burning desire and take one-step at a time. Never, ever give in to lies and a loss of integrity.

"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." ---Alan Simpson

A dear friend posted something on her Facebook page and I read it as I left a theater with my family. It was a reminder and awakening and actually brought a tear to my eyes. The words were not from a genius or some wonderful guru. These words came together by someone searching for the right thing to say to a friend in a very difficult situation. The written words were placed so a friend caught in the trap of lying, loss of integrity and stuck could find the confidence to move forward. The written words were for a dear friend, a best friend and completely ignored. However, when I read that a different dear friend had re-posted these words for someone, perhaps me, perhaps not, it made me realize something. If we believe in ourselves, take action and move forward we will build a life of design. Honesty and Integrity are two of the most important ingredients in that equation. Words are powerful and can be used for good and bad.

“My friend, all great journeys begin with a single, awkward, uncomfortable step. It is a leap of faith in yourself. It is the universal law; you cannot move towards something and remain where you are. Believe in yourself-- just believe." ---Todd Hurley

"My mistake, and it is one I deeply regret, is writing about the person I created in my mind to help me cope, and not the person who went through the experience." ---James Frey

"Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence." ---Lemuel Washburn