"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." ---Martin Luther King
I watched the video below on YouTube the other night and I started thinking about the title. The title is “The Power of One”. I was thinking back to the many times in my life and those I know, where the power of one came into play. One is a very low number and yet possesses a very great power. It is the number at which nearly everything we do in life begins.
Marriage or partnership begins with a first date. Breathing life begins for all of us with a first day. Businesses begin with a grand opening or first day of operation. We encounter a new job with that uncomfortable first day. Savings accounts are begun with that first dollar. Debt is reduced with paying off that first installment. Forgiveness is begun with that first humbled day. Weight loss journeys are started with a first pound lost. The power of one is enormous.
Looking back on my own journey, I remember that first, painful and uncomfortable step on a treadmill. I remember the surgery and first day of recovery in a foreign land. I remember the hunger I felt when I weighed in at over 430+ pounds and tried crash dieting. I remember the first time I found a medical clinic with a scale that weighed over 400 pounds informing me of my actual weight. I remember the first day of birth of each of my children. I remember the first day after my divorce and sitting home alone for the first time in almost 23 years. I remember the first night looking into my children’s bedrooms at night, realizing that divorce had ripped them from their beds. I remember the first day of marriage to my beautiful wife Shelby. I remember the first day and first time of meeting in-laws, that are not judgmental or cruel and actually supported and encouraged me.
"Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation" ---Oscar Wilde
The power of one shapes and molds our lives. Positive or negative it is that first step in any process that begins to shape our lives. The amazing thing about the power of one is that you can take a negative and with one-step in a different direction, you can begin the process into positive territory. You can take a super-morbidly-obese person and with a single step, move towards a healthier full life. The power of one is simply cutting back 100 calories per day. That results in more than ten pounds you will not gain that year or perhaps actually lose those ten pounds that year.
The power of one has the ability to change your life and those around you for the better. I have experienced it and I have witnessed it. I have a wonderful friend that once wrote me that they could never lose weight, get healthy and may have to accept their situation. That friend now motivates me and excites me as I see on Facebook that they check in from a gym many times per week. I do not think it is necessary to explain the power of one to them. They found it, they used it and now they inspire with it.
"The first step, my son, which one makes in the world, is the one on which depends the rest of our days." ---Voltaire
"Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces." ---Judith Viorst
"Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all your energies on a limited set of targets." ---Nido Qubein
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
As Quiet as the Night
"The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques (the Personality Ethic) rather than from our own inner core (the Character Ethic), others will sense that duplicity. We simply won't be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence." ---Stephen R. Covey
Human relationships are a complex and wonderful experience. There are times when we are so connected to someone that we feel such a magnificent high, we cannot imagine anything better in life. Oddly, there are times with that same person that we could not feel more distant from, as if we were on different planets.
I wonder what takes our relationships with people; spouses, friends, partners into that place that seem to have an odd, foreign feel to it. Best friends, spouses, children, all types of relationships with people we love can quickly become distant. It sneaks up on you, many times without so much as a whisper. It happens as quiet as the night. Suddenly, you awake and wonder what went wrong. Where did that connection go that felt so right?
"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain." ---Leo Buscaglia
In my lifetime, I sadly admit that I have had a few of these relationships drift away. I have had the unpleasant experience of failed friendships, romantic relationships and business partnerships. I hope I have learned from each failure and attempted to become a better person. This evening I was reflecting on many of the amazing people that I have had the opportunity to know and have some type of relationship. Most of these are not romantic relationships, but friendships and partnerships. As I reflected on these past failed relationships, I came to one common element among them all. Every failed relationship in my life comes down to a single problem. It is a breakdown in communication.
Why do we allow communication to break down? What is it that scares us? Why do we allow it to interfere with our precious relationships? We become impatient, hurt, sad, dishonest, angry and harsh. I know when I am not communicating properly I tend to run silent. I clam up and do not speak my mind. This compounds an already sensitive situation as running silent allows things to build up or creates distance.
Many years ago, my older Brother introduced me to a speaker by the name of Leo Buscaglia. He was a very dynamic individual and I enjoyed listening to him. If only we could find the strength to apply the Buscaglia method in all of our relationships, I wonder if any relationship would fail.
In my lifetime, I have learned this simple fact. Relationships with people we love and admire are precious. There is no room for ego, dishonesty or anger. Always use a soft voice, gentle tongue and kind, exploratory conversation in difficult or confusing times. I sincerely hope and pray that I continue to grow and gain more wisdom and courage to show love the Buscaglia way. The time for love, the time for relationships is now. Cherish the people we love, now and forever.
"Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong." ---Leo Buscaglia
"The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships." ---Anthony Robbins
"Dysfunction - The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." ---Larry Kersten
Human relationships are a complex and wonderful experience. There are times when we are so connected to someone that we feel such a magnificent high, we cannot imagine anything better in life. Oddly, there are times with that same person that we could not feel more distant from, as if we were on different planets.
I wonder what takes our relationships with people; spouses, friends, partners into that place that seem to have an odd, foreign feel to it. Best friends, spouses, children, all types of relationships with people we love can quickly become distant. It sneaks up on you, many times without so much as a whisper. It happens as quiet as the night. Suddenly, you awake and wonder what went wrong. Where did that connection go that felt so right?
"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain." ---Leo Buscaglia
In my lifetime, I sadly admit that I have had a few of these relationships drift away. I have had the unpleasant experience of failed friendships, romantic relationships and business partnerships. I hope I have learned from each failure and attempted to become a better person. This evening I was reflecting on many of the amazing people that I have had the opportunity to know and have some type of relationship. Most of these are not romantic relationships, but friendships and partnerships. As I reflected on these past failed relationships, I came to one common element among them all. Every failed relationship in my life comes down to a single problem. It is a breakdown in communication.
Why do we allow communication to break down? What is it that scares us? Why do we allow it to interfere with our precious relationships? We become impatient, hurt, sad, dishonest, angry and harsh. I know when I am not communicating properly I tend to run silent. I clam up and do not speak my mind. This compounds an already sensitive situation as running silent allows things to build up or creates distance.
Many years ago, my older Brother introduced me to a speaker by the name of Leo Buscaglia. He was a very dynamic individual and I enjoyed listening to him. If only we could find the strength to apply the Buscaglia method in all of our relationships, I wonder if any relationship would fail.
In my lifetime, I have learned this simple fact. Relationships with people we love and admire are precious. There is no room for ego, dishonesty or anger. Always use a soft voice, gentle tongue and kind, exploratory conversation in difficult or confusing times. I sincerely hope and pray that I continue to grow and gain more wisdom and courage to show love the Buscaglia way. The time for love, the time for relationships is now. Cherish the people we love, now and forever.
"Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong." ---Leo Buscaglia
"The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships." ---Anthony Robbins
"Dysfunction - The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." ---Larry Kersten
Monday, January 23, 2012
Are You Kidding Me
"The politicians have divided a neighborhood." ---Arnold Schwarzenegger
Mitt, Newt, Obama, Ron, Rick and I could go on forever. Is this all we really have to choose from for President (POTUS)? After all the bickering, accusations and name-calling, I am sure they are all decent men. However, not one of these men excites me as the answer to our problems here in the United States.
I find it sad in America that we actually have candidates that have to affiliate themselves with a party. I wish all candidates were independents and did not play the party game. Republicans for example will not get behind a great candidate if they are not conservative enough or that candidate supports a cause not to their liking. Democrats usually will not collectively support a candidate that seems too conservative.
I think it is fair to look at our present situation here in the USA. We are in need of some serious changes. We are not just talking about the economy, but our debt as a nation. Look at the deficit per man, woman and child in the USA. It is jaw dropping enormous. If you want a sobering, reality-check look at this link. http://www.usdebtclock.org/ If I read this correctly, the current debt as of 01/23/2012 is $48,791.00 per man, woman and child. This equates to $135,212.00 per taxpayer. The time to put a stop to this insanity is now! It will hurt to stop this and no one group or agency can carry the burden alone.
The bottom line for me in voting for a new POTUS will be where they have been working for the past 4-years or more. If any candidate has worked in Washington, D.C. for the past four-years or more, they will not be considered. They are the people that cannot get this debt under control. It is the old rule at play here. “If you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always gotten.” Why in the world would people consider a candidate that has contributed to this mess in the first place? Is it logical to assume that if we change their title that they will suddenly become better at their job and do it differently? I look at Newt and wonder why people are even considering him.
I guess it comes down to that party thing. No, change that to a religious thing. Wait; change that to a liberal thing. Perhaps it is a conservative thing. Forget all that, I am certain it is a corporate thing. Maybe it is a racial thing. What ever it is, all I know is that their names collectively carry the letters to spell… MORON! =)
"All the politicians keep saying 'Never again, never again'." ---Mark Hanis
"All we are waiting for now is for the politicians to get their acts together." ---Jamie Turner
"Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad." ---Henry A. Kissinger
Mitt, Newt, Obama, Ron, Rick and I could go on forever. Is this all we really have to choose from for President (POTUS)? After all the bickering, accusations and name-calling, I am sure they are all decent men. However, not one of these men excites me as the answer to our problems here in the United States.
I find it sad in America that we actually have candidates that have to affiliate themselves with a party. I wish all candidates were independents and did not play the party game. Republicans for example will not get behind a great candidate if they are not conservative enough or that candidate supports a cause not to their liking. Democrats usually will not collectively support a candidate that seems too conservative.
I think it is fair to look at our present situation here in the USA. We are in need of some serious changes. We are not just talking about the economy, but our debt as a nation. Look at the deficit per man, woman and child in the USA. It is jaw dropping enormous. If you want a sobering, reality-check look at this link. http://www.usdebtclock.org/ If I read this correctly, the current debt as of 01/23/2012 is $48,791.00 per man, woman and child. This equates to $135,212.00 per taxpayer. The time to put a stop to this insanity is now! It will hurt to stop this and no one group or agency can carry the burden alone.
The bottom line for me in voting for a new POTUS will be where they have been working for the past 4-years or more. If any candidate has worked in Washington, D.C. for the past four-years or more, they will not be considered. They are the people that cannot get this debt under control. It is the old rule at play here. “If you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always gotten.” Why in the world would people consider a candidate that has contributed to this mess in the first place? Is it logical to assume that if we change their title that they will suddenly become better at their job and do it differently? I look at Newt and wonder why people are even considering him.
I guess it comes down to that party thing. No, change that to a religious thing. Wait; change that to a liberal thing. Perhaps it is a conservative thing. Forget all that, I am certain it is a corporate thing. Maybe it is a racial thing. What ever it is, all I know is that their names collectively carry the letters to spell… MORON! =)
"All the politicians keep saying 'Never again, never again'." ---Mark Hanis
"All we are waiting for now is for the politicians to get their acts together." ---Jamie Turner
"Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad." ---Henry A. Kissinger
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Honesty and Integrity
"The true measure of life is not length, but honesty." ---John Lyly
Honesty: the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. 3. freedom from deceit or fraud.
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
Lately I have been amazed, hurt and even dumbfounded by the numbers of people that simply do not abide by these two principles. In the past few months, I have encountered some amazing and wonderful people that make a habit of frequent lying or making choices void of integrity. This has left me with a very sour taste in my mouth. Honesty and Integrity are the measure of a human. In two instances, I actually attempted to allow them an escape to correct situations I knew not to be true. Literally, both of these individuals not only continued with the lie, they added more to it to complicate matters.
Sadly, these two individuals were very aware that I knew the truth. Yet, they went ahead with the added lies. How does one respond to this from a friend? I certainly am no expert. I felt hurt, betrayed and wondered why they think so little of me that they would not be honest. I can say from experience that adultery involves the greatest deceit you will ever encounter and the person that does this will most likely never return to a completely honest life. I know there are exceptions to every rule. In Texas, Ross Perot and the companies he owns fire anyone involved in adultery. Their philosophy is, if your spouse cannot trust you how can your employer. However, what about those that have not committed adultery, where has their dishonesty developed?
"Dishonest people conceal their faults from themselves as well as others, honest people know and confess them." ---Christian Nevell Bovee
Perhaps it stems from the desire to be more than we are. Maybe one is compelled to lying because they want others to think of them in grand terms. Living a life, you are not fond of, proud of, happy with or desire can lead you to make others believe it is all you want and more. Becoming stuck in a life you thought would never become yours and paralyzed with fear to do something about it, could possibly be the catalyst for throwing honesty and integrity in the trash. How does one escape a life they do not desire and build the life they desire when paralyzed by fear? How does one live by design, when they have been living by default for so long?
Each of us has to find that answer for ourselves. I can say without hesitation that it begins with accountability, honesty and integrity. We accept our situation, take accountability and all that we have done to place ourselves in this situation. No one but ourselves is to blame for the bad situations we find ourselves in during our lives. We cannot point fingers or paint a different picture with false words. Sadly, what these amazing people do not realize is that with every false word, they strengthen the chains that hold them. The loss of honesty and integrity become the bars that confine and imprison them. They lose friends, trusted partners, opportunities, and destroy relationships of all types. Lying and the loss of integrity force an individual into a life of default.
I know of only one way to escape a life of default and that is through accountability. Honesty, integrity and a strong belief in yourself will propel you to a new beginning. Once you start down that path, develop a burning desire and take one-step at a time. Never, ever give in to lies and a loss of integrity.
"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." ---Alan Simpson
A dear friend posted something on her Facebook page and I read it as I left a theater with my family. It was a reminder and awakening and actually brought a tear to my eyes. The words were not from a genius or some wonderful guru. These words came together by someone searching for the right thing to say to a friend in a very difficult situation. The written words were placed so a friend caught in the trap of lying, loss of integrity and stuck could find the confidence to move forward. The written words were for a dear friend, a best friend and completely ignored. However, when I read that a different dear friend had re-posted these words for someone, perhaps me, perhaps not, it made me realize something. If we believe in ourselves, take action and move forward we will build a life of design. Honesty and Integrity are two of the most important ingredients in that equation. Words are powerful and can be used for good and bad.
“My friend, all great journeys begin with a single, awkward, uncomfortable step. It is a leap of faith in yourself. It is the universal law; you cannot move towards something and remain where you are. Believe in yourself-- just believe." ---Todd Hurley
"My mistake, and it is one I deeply regret, is writing about the person I created in my mind to help me cope, and not the person who went through the experience." ---James Frey
"Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence." ---Lemuel Washburn
Honesty: the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. 3. freedom from deceit or fraud.
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
Lately I have been amazed, hurt and even dumbfounded by the numbers of people that simply do not abide by these two principles. In the past few months, I have encountered some amazing and wonderful people that make a habit of frequent lying or making choices void of integrity. This has left me with a very sour taste in my mouth. Honesty and Integrity are the measure of a human. In two instances, I actually attempted to allow them an escape to correct situations I knew not to be true. Literally, both of these individuals not only continued with the lie, they added more to it to complicate matters.
Sadly, these two individuals were very aware that I knew the truth. Yet, they went ahead with the added lies. How does one respond to this from a friend? I certainly am no expert. I felt hurt, betrayed and wondered why they think so little of me that they would not be honest. I can say from experience that adultery involves the greatest deceit you will ever encounter and the person that does this will most likely never return to a completely honest life. I know there are exceptions to every rule. In Texas, Ross Perot and the companies he owns fire anyone involved in adultery. Their philosophy is, if your spouse cannot trust you how can your employer. However, what about those that have not committed adultery, where has their dishonesty developed?
"Dishonest people conceal their faults from themselves as well as others, honest people know and confess them." ---Christian Nevell Bovee
Perhaps it stems from the desire to be more than we are. Maybe one is compelled to lying because they want others to think of them in grand terms. Living a life, you are not fond of, proud of, happy with or desire can lead you to make others believe it is all you want and more. Becoming stuck in a life you thought would never become yours and paralyzed with fear to do something about it, could possibly be the catalyst for throwing honesty and integrity in the trash. How does one escape a life they do not desire and build the life they desire when paralyzed by fear? How does one live by design, when they have been living by default for so long?
Each of us has to find that answer for ourselves. I can say without hesitation that it begins with accountability, honesty and integrity. We accept our situation, take accountability and all that we have done to place ourselves in this situation. No one but ourselves is to blame for the bad situations we find ourselves in during our lives. We cannot point fingers or paint a different picture with false words. Sadly, what these amazing people do not realize is that with every false word, they strengthen the chains that hold them. The loss of honesty and integrity become the bars that confine and imprison them. They lose friends, trusted partners, opportunities, and destroy relationships of all types. Lying and the loss of integrity force an individual into a life of default.
I know of only one way to escape a life of default and that is through accountability. Honesty, integrity and a strong belief in yourself will propel you to a new beginning. Once you start down that path, develop a burning desire and take one-step at a time. Never, ever give in to lies and a loss of integrity.
"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters." ---Alan Simpson
A dear friend posted something on her Facebook page and I read it as I left a theater with my family. It was a reminder and awakening and actually brought a tear to my eyes. The words were not from a genius or some wonderful guru. These words came together by someone searching for the right thing to say to a friend in a very difficult situation. The written words were placed so a friend caught in the trap of lying, loss of integrity and stuck could find the confidence to move forward. The written words were for a dear friend, a best friend and completely ignored. However, when I read that a different dear friend had re-posted these words for someone, perhaps me, perhaps not, it made me realize something. If we believe in ourselves, take action and move forward we will build a life of design. Honesty and Integrity are two of the most important ingredients in that equation. Words are powerful and can be used for good and bad.
“My friend, all great journeys begin with a single, awkward, uncomfortable step. It is a leap of faith in yourself. It is the universal law; you cannot move towards something and remain where you are. Believe in yourself-- just believe." ---Todd Hurley
"My mistake, and it is one I deeply regret, is writing about the person I created in my mind to help me cope, and not the person who went through the experience." ---James Frey
"Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence." ---Lemuel Washburn
Saturday, January 7, 2012
After the Storm Clears
"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." ---Louisa May Alcott
I live in a place where the air can get foul during the winter months. In fact, I recently read that the area I reside is in the top five most polluted areas in the USA in air quality. It is a beautiful area but during the winter we experience an inversion and you can literally see the air you breathe. It is a horrible sight when you look around and the mountains you are only a couple miles from are hidden from what appears to be a dense fog, but is thick smog.
A good winter storm hit our area Friday night into early Saturday morning. The result is a beautiful, breathtaking sight. The storm or any storm can be tumultuous; however, in its wake is a winter wonderland with the most beautiful mountains. The air is once again clear, invisible and fresh.
"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." ---John Muir
I am reminded of my life and the lives of many. We face tremendous storms that challenge our faith, resolve and confidence. The amazing thing about humanity is that we alone can determine the results after the storm clears. I honestly believed that weight loss would be my largest challenge in life. Life hit me squarely in the face and let me know that weight loss is small compared to the complicated waters of human relationships. The storm that I encountered and the ongoing animosity, false accusations and cruelty left me extremely hurt and without confidence. I never saw it coming and I would never wish it on anyone.
"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy." ---F. Scott Fitzgerald
There are many heroes in my storm and so many I will forever be grateful. Three literally reached down and lifted me to a higher ground. My beautiful wife Shelby showed me what true love and support really is and can be. My Shelby (I love saying that, but not in a possessive way), healed my heart and soul. I am eternally grateful for Shelby and grateful that she was by my side through much of the storm. Sadly, she personally witnessed much of my storm. She witnessed me get beat down on several occasions. Repeatedly her strength and love would lift me up and point me in the proper direction. The other two heroes are the two people on this planet that I have the awesome opportunity to be called their father. My gorgeous Alexandra and my handsome son Kaden are my heroes. They have been asked to endure much and are the most amazing children. All I have to do is look into their eyes and see why life is so precious. I cherish every moment they spend at my home and with our family.
However, with all that has happened and the ongoing trials the time eventually comes to make a decision. Do you succumb to the trials or do you learn, grow and move forward. Remaining stuck in a continuous onslaught of demoralizing and stressful rhetoric or deciding to hear it no more and stand for your beliefs. Making a stand for those you love and for yourself that you will no longer take part in the drama. I choose to move forward and leave behind all of the negative past, present and future and focus on being the very best person I can become.
My attention is once again focused on the journey and becoming more than I am. Once again, I will learn, grow and improve. I have learned many valuable lessons through the storm. Enjoy life and live it to its fullest. Life is an absolute gift that we truly do not appreciate nearly enough. Look around you and you will see those that live life full. They are the ones that are eager and first to hit the dance floor. They marvel at the beauty of this world and its people. They see the positive instead of the negative. They are quick to forgive and slow to anger. They laugh and enjoy life every chance they get. They are the ones that are scarred from the storms of life. They are the ones that are still standing when the storm moves on. They are the ones that have decided the storm left in its wake a beautiful, clear and bright future.
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ---Winston Churchill
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." ---Helen Keller
I live in a place where the air can get foul during the winter months. In fact, I recently read that the area I reside is in the top five most polluted areas in the USA in air quality. It is a beautiful area but during the winter we experience an inversion and you can literally see the air you breathe. It is a horrible sight when you look around and the mountains you are only a couple miles from are hidden from what appears to be a dense fog, but is thick smog.
A good winter storm hit our area Friday night into early Saturday morning. The result is a beautiful, breathtaking sight. The storm or any storm can be tumultuous; however, in its wake is a winter wonderland with the most beautiful mountains. The air is once again clear, invisible and fresh.
"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." ---John Muir
I am reminded of my life and the lives of many. We face tremendous storms that challenge our faith, resolve and confidence. The amazing thing about humanity is that we alone can determine the results after the storm clears. I honestly believed that weight loss would be my largest challenge in life. Life hit me squarely in the face and let me know that weight loss is small compared to the complicated waters of human relationships. The storm that I encountered and the ongoing animosity, false accusations and cruelty left me extremely hurt and without confidence. I never saw it coming and I would never wish it on anyone.
"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy." ---F. Scott Fitzgerald
There are many heroes in my storm and so many I will forever be grateful. Three literally reached down and lifted me to a higher ground. My beautiful wife Shelby showed me what true love and support really is and can be. My Shelby (I love saying that, but not in a possessive way), healed my heart and soul. I am eternally grateful for Shelby and grateful that she was by my side through much of the storm. Sadly, she personally witnessed much of my storm. She witnessed me get beat down on several occasions. Repeatedly her strength and love would lift me up and point me in the proper direction. The other two heroes are the two people on this planet that I have the awesome opportunity to be called their father. My gorgeous Alexandra and my handsome son Kaden are my heroes. They have been asked to endure much and are the most amazing children. All I have to do is look into their eyes and see why life is so precious. I cherish every moment they spend at my home and with our family.
However, with all that has happened and the ongoing trials the time eventually comes to make a decision. Do you succumb to the trials or do you learn, grow and move forward. Remaining stuck in a continuous onslaught of demoralizing and stressful rhetoric or deciding to hear it no more and stand for your beliefs. Making a stand for those you love and for yourself that you will no longer take part in the drama. I choose to move forward and leave behind all of the negative past, present and future and focus on being the very best person I can become.
My attention is once again focused on the journey and becoming more than I am. Once again, I will learn, grow and improve. I have learned many valuable lessons through the storm. Enjoy life and live it to its fullest. Life is an absolute gift that we truly do not appreciate nearly enough. Look around you and you will see those that live life full. They are the ones that are eager and first to hit the dance floor. They marvel at the beauty of this world and its people. They see the positive instead of the negative. They are quick to forgive and slow to anger. They laugh and enjoy life every chance they get. They are the ones that are scarred from the storms of life. They are the ones that are still standing when the storm moves on. They are the ones that have decided the storm left in its wake a beautiful, clear and bright future.
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ---Winston Churchill
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." ---Helen Keller
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Find Your Swagger
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." ---Richard Bach
Confidence or the lack thereof, is the tool that will most likely lead you to success or failure in all you attempt. Have you ever noticed that the best athlete’s are also the most confident or perhaps arrogant? Some may have that quiet confidence, while others have the more obvious and verbal confidence. When we lose our confidence is when we have allowed the outside world beat us down.
Today, I am going to examine my confidence and see where I have dropped off. The world goes on whether we have confidence or not. Tomorrow, the world will wake and go to work or school and our confidence or lack of it, will not matter. The only place our confidence will matter is in our own life. That is where the magic begins.
When we have confidence and surge forward on our own journey, we begin to set matters in motion. Many people become affected by our confidence. We become better people and work towards a better life. We begin to build or design our life. Living by default is truly a passionless life. Living by design and building that life the way you desire is truly filled with passion. The amazing thing is, as you design your life and allow your true light to shine, others in and around you will begin to do the same.
Cheer them on and be their most ardent supporter and cheerleader. Be the one to encourage and boost others and watch how it returns like a boomerang. I once heard Zig Ziglar say, “If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
"There's no such thing as lack of confidence. You either have it or you don't." ---Rob Andrew
"I believe that life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel, but we are well equipped for it if only we tap into our talents and gifts and allow them to blossom." ---Les Brown
"Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey." ---Alex Noble
Confidence or the lack thereof, is the tool that will most likely lead you to success or failure in all you attempt. Have you ever noticed that the best athlete’s are also the most confident or perhaps arrogant? Some may have that quiet confidence, while others have the more obvious and verbal confidence. When we lose our confidence is when we have allowed the outside world beat us down.
Today, I am going to examine my confidence and see where I have dropped off. The world goes on whether we have confidence or not. Tomorrow, the world will wake and go to work or school and our confidence or lack of it, will not matter. The only place our confidence will matter is in our own life. That is where the magic begins.
When we have confidence and surge forward on our own journey, we begin to set matters in motion. Many people become affected by our confidence. We become better people and work towards a better life. We begin to build or design our life. Living by default is truly a passionless life. Living by design and building that life the way you desire is truly filled with passion. The amazing thing is, as you design your life and allow your true light to shine, others in and around you will begin to do the same.
Cheer them on and be their most ardent supporter and cheerleader. Be the one to encourage and boost others and watch how it returns like a boomerang. I once heard Zig Ziglar say, “If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”
"There's no such thing as lack of confidence. You either have it or you don't." ---Rob Andrew
"I believe that life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel, but we are well equipped for it if only we tap into our talents and gifts and allow them to blossom." ---Les Brown
"Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey." ---Alex Noble
Monday, January 2, 2012
Ever Had a Bad Day?
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone." ---John Ciardi
Have you ever had a bad day? Dumb question since everyone I know has a bad day now and then. The amazing thing about a bad day is we get the opportunity to start all over the next day. I have had many bad days in my life. In fact, if I were to take all of the days over the past two years and divide them into bad and good columns; they would probably come out even. That is a very sad statistic for me. It is also a barometer for my accomplishments in that period.
I believe in my heart and mind that I am an optimist; however, the reality is that only I can allow myself to have a bad day. It seems that I have been allowing myself to have a great number of bad days in the past two years.
Examining my own situation, I can see where my bad days are coming from and I have no idea how to rectify the situation. Well, I know how I can rectify the situation short term, but with long-term ramifications that could end up causing even more bad days.
Where does the answer lie? I suppose the answer is found in positive reinforcement and feeding the mind positive material. Keeping a proper perspective and realizing that my situation could be far worse than it is. Focusing on my blessings and not on my misfortunes is probably a good place to start.
I nearly lost my heart and soul. Looking at the activity log on this blog shows the time line. Where does one find the courage, desire and determination again to pound your footsteps down the difficult path of dreams? Where can one find the “atta’ boy” to overcome the obstacles that litter your path? Why do so many revel in seeing a person fall short of all they desire in life? Why do so many jeer, instead of cheer? Where have all the cheerleaders in life gone?
"If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground." ---Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day, and as nearly as possible reaching the high water mark of pure and useful living." ---Booker T. Washington
"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." ---Author Unknown
Have you ever had a bad day? Dumb question since everyone I know has a bad day now and then. The amazing thing about a bad day is we get the opportunity to start all over the next day. I have had many bad days in my life. In fact, if I were to take all of the days over the past two years and divide them into bad and good columns; they would probably come out even. That is a very sad statistic for me. It is also a barometer for my accomplishments in that period.
I believe in my heart and mind that I am an optimist; however, the reality is that only I can allow myself to have a bad day. It seems that I have been allowing myself to have a great number of bad days in the past two years.
Examining my own situation, I can see where my bad days are coming from and I have no idea how to rectify the situation. Well, I know how I can rectify the situation short term, but with long-term ramifications that could end up causing even more bad days.
Where does the answer lie? I suppose the answer is found in positive reinforcement and feeding the mind positive material. Keeping a proper perspective and realizing that my situation could be far worse than it is. Focusing on my blessings and not on my misfortunes is probably a good place to start.
I nearly lost my heart and soul. Looking at the activity log on this blog shows the time line. Where does one find the courage, desire and determination again to pound your footsteps down the difficult path of dreams? Where can one find the “atta’ boy” to overcome the obstacles that litter your path? Why do so many revel in seeing a person fall short of all they desire in life? Why do so many jeer, instead of cheer? Where have all the cheerleaders in life gone?
"If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground." ---Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day, and as nearly as possible reaching the high water mark of pure and useful living." ---Booker T. Washington
"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." ---Author Unknown
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year for a New Journey
"I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the years'." ---Henry Moore
Looking back on the past year it was a year of great blessings and a few setbacks. First, I want to express my extreme gratitude to live upon this Earth with so many wonderful, beautiful people. I am an extremely blessed man and the Lord has blessed me with a loving family and many friends. I have the pleasure of residing in an amazing country where opportunity still exists for the determined.
This past year I remarried and my heart once again became full. I married a very strong woman in character and love. Her determination, work ethic, and ability to love astonish me. I am a fortunate man to have the opportunity to experience love once again and to have found such an amazing person as a companion. My two children love and adore her and she them. When my two stepchildren are with us and my two birth children are as well, we are quite the amazing family. We blended into a very loving and fun family. I take great joy in watching the four beautiful children enjoy the family setting and all hearts be full with joy.
"I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned." ---Carol Burnett
I had a few challenges this past year as well. My overall journey towards my goals were slowed somewhat as I focused on other areas of my life. Ongoing relations with my ex-spouse are somewhat strained and I certainly wish that was not the case. It seems that many people fuel the contention, however when we communicate without others involved it is more peaceful. I have recently concluded that I cannot do much to improve this situation. I really can only take care of my own actions. I absolutely love and adore my children and cherish every moment they are here in my home. I plan to focus on being the best husband, father, neighbor and son of God that I can. If I focus on those things, I believe this will have the best impact on all those around me and be the best example for my children.
I do not believe I will make resolutions for the New Year. Instead, I believe I will list a few goals. First, I will focus on my physical health and fitness. More specifically, I plan to workout much more in 2012. I have learned the eating habits to remain thin for life. I find that if I am working out more frequently that these healthier habits are easier to keep. Second, I plan to learn more and do more. I have desired to write a few things and see if they have potential. This is a challenging endeavor as I learned something this past year about writing. Unlike verbal communicating, the written word has the power to offend and upset someone. Verbally, we can choose to whom and what we communicate. If you do not like to be offensive and confrontational, you can avoid those situations. However, with the written word those thoughts and opinions remain. Eventually, someone comes along and is greatly offended by what you have written.
My beautiful wife says that I should just write it and develop a thick skin. She believes I should include essays and other things on this blog. Although essays are not what I want to work on, I can certainly write short essays. However, I once wrote something my beautiful wife did not appreciate. I remember the sinking, uncomfortable feeling I had of letting her down and being offensive. Again, that is never my intention. I want to be peaceful and loving to all people. After realizing her uncomfortable feelings of my written word, I deleted them and took time off from writing. Having a thick skin is not something I have demonstrated in the past. I certainly see my beautiful and brilliant wife’s point. I need to develop the confidence and thick skin to do what I desire to do.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ---Ralph Waldo Emerson
The New Year marks the opportunity to begin a new journey. Every journey begins with a single step. Each day we take one more step. I remember the first time on that treadmill a few years ago. I weighed more than 430 pounds, I walked at speed 1.3mph and for 2:30 and thought, I was going to die. That is two-minutes and thirty-seconds and at a ridiculously slow speed. I remember hobbling in pain out to my car and driving to a secluded spot and I openly wept. How did it come to this? How did I lose control? Then, I focused on my why and why I went to the gym for the first time in a decade. Every journey needs that why. Why do we do it and why do we stay focused and determined.
New Years day is an amazing day as I begin a new journey, building the strong why to keep me taking that single step forward repeatedly. I hope you have a goal for the New Year and are wildly successful in taking step after step. Along the way, remember to laugh, love and live full.
"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started." ---Marcus Tullius Cicero
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ---Eleanor Roosevelt
"You are about to begin the hero's journey. Travel well on the quest. A life of More is your birthright. Know the vast resource that reside in you and are provided for you in the world. You have raised the battle cry of There Must Be More Than This." ---Judith Wright
Looking back on the past year it was a year of great blessings and a few setbacks. First, I want to express my extreme gratitude to live upon this Earth with so many wonderful, beautiful people. I am an extremely blessed man and the Lord has blessed me with a loving family and many friends. I have the pleasure of residing in an amazing country where opportunity still exists for the determined.
This past year I remarried and my heart once again became full. I married a very strong woman in character and love. Her determination, work ethic, and ability to love astonish me. I am a fortunate man to have the opportunity to experience love once again and to have found such an amazing person as a companion. My two children love and adore her and she them. When my two stepchildren are with us and my two birth children are as well, we are quite the amazing family. We blended into a very loving and fun family. I take great joy in watching the four beautiful children enjoy the family setting and all hearts be full with joy.
"I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned." ---Carol Burnett
I had a few challenges this past year as well. My overall journey towards my goals were slowed somewhat as I focused on other areas of my life. Ongoing relations with my ex-spouse are somewhat strained and I certainly wish that was not the case. It seems that many people fuel the contention, however when we communicate without others involved it is more peaceful. I have recently concluded that I cannot do much to improve this situation. I really can only take care of my own actions. I absolutely love and adore my children and cherish every moment they are here in my home. I plan to focus on being the best husband, father, neighbor and son of God that I can. If I focus on those things, I believe this will have the best impact on all those around me and be the best example for my children.
I do not believe I will make resolutions for the New Year. Instead, I believe I will list a few goals. First, I will focus on my physical health and fitness. More specifically, I plan to workout much more in 2012. I have learned the eating habits to remain thin for life. I find that if I am working out more frequently that these healthier habits are easier to keep. Second, I plan to learn more and do more. I have desired to write a few things and see if they have potential. This is a challenging endeavor as I learned something this past year about writing. Unlike verbal communicating, the written word has the power to offend and upset someone. Verbally, we can choose to whom and what we communicate. If you do not like to be offensive and confrontational, you can avoid those situations. However, with the written word those thoughts and opinions remain. Eventually, someone comes along and is greatly offended by what you have written.
My beautiful wife says that I should just write it and develop a thick skin. She believes I should include essays and other things on this blog. Although essays are not what I want to work on, I can certainly write short essays. However, I once wrote something my beautiful wife did not appreciate. I remember the sinking, uncomfortable feeling I had of letting her down and being offensive. Again, that is never my intention. I want to be peaceful and loving to all people. After realizing her uncomfortable feelings of my written word, I deleted them and took time off from writing. Having a thick skin is not something I have demonstrated in the past. I certainly see my beautiful and brilliant wife’s point. I need to develop the confidence and thick skin to do what I desire to do.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ---Ralph Waldo Emerson
The New Year marks the opportunity to begin a new journey. Every journey begins with a single step. Each day we take one more step. I remember the first time on that treadmill a few years ago. I weighed more than 430 pounds, I walked at speed 1.3mph and for 2:30 and thought, I was going to die. That is two-minutes and thirty-seconds and at a ridiculously slow speed. I remember hobbling in pain out to my car and driving to a secluded spot and I openly wept. How did it come to this? How did I lose control? Then, I focused on my why and why I went to the gym for the first time in a decade. Every journey needs that why. Why do we do it and why do we stay focused and determined.
New Years day is an amazing day as I begin a new journey, building the strong why to keep me taking that single step forward repeatedly. I hope you have a goal for the New Year and are wildly successful in taking step after step. Along the way, remember to laugh, love and live full.
"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started." ---Marcus Tullius Cicero
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ---Eleanor Roosevelt
"You are about to begin the hero's journey. Travel well on the quest. A life of More is your birthright. Know the vast resource that reside in you and are provided for you in the world. You have raised the battle cry of There Must Be More Than This." ---Judith Wright
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