I Didn’t Do It Dad!

"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." ---Khalil Gibran

I remember the day with alarming clarity. It is as vivid and powerful today as it was almost thirteen years ago. The day I speak of is the day I became a father. I cannot remember ever really wanting to be or having an enormous desire to be a father. If I am honest, I never really gave it great thought when I was younger. I occasionally wondered what it would be like, but I was perfectly satisfied with life if it never happened.

That November day a decade plus nearly three years ago would change my life like no other before or after. The person that never gave being a father much thought did in fact become a father. It rocked my world and has every day since. I became the father of a gorgeous little baby girl that day.

Being a father is a complicated issue. I am blessed to actually be the father of two, a young boy about to become seven. I know that I would willingly give my life for either of my children without hesitation if it would preserve theirs. If you want to see the ugliest side of my character, hurt one of my children. I deeply love my children, oddly I never really felt loved by my own father.

Saturday evening I had the displeasure of catching my son in a lie. A continuing lie and events have been very troubling to me. I know, he is only six plus years old. However, there comes a time as a parent that one must get through to a child. Exactly how does a father do this? I know that if I look back to my own childhood, the thought of doing it the way my father did it leaves me filled with sorrow. I love my son and cannot bring myself to do those types of things to him. Sure, there were plenty of great memories of my childhood with my father, but the harsh ones stand out among the memories for some reason.

My beautiful, handsome son, if you ever read this and look back on this night; I hope you do so with a smile and a fondness. There was no yelling, no hitting, no swearing, and no spanking. It was a talk. Yes, the talk was firm and I explained the consequences of privileges that could be lost if this behavior continues. I hope you learn that honesty is always the best avenue to take. Hold yourself to a higher standard. In your life, when you have made a mistake or have done something wrong, stand a little taller. Speak the truth and be quick to apologize and hold yourself accountable. I know your explanation was, you did not want to get in trouble. I can only offer this advice. Lying compounds the problem and gets you in deeper trouble.

"If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings." ---Brian Tracy

People the world over have yet to learn this. Politicians and famous people have never lived up to this and in the end lying always brings you down. Son, when in life you have done something wrong and it finds its way back to you, take pause. Stand tall, look them in the eyes and apologize. Be quick to accept responsibility and offer a solution to make things right again. It is without a doubt the more difficult and less traveled path. It is also the path to respect and forgiveness. I love you and I stand by you. As long as I walk upon this Earth, I will always love you and be proud of you. Especially, in those difficult times in life if you stand a little taller and always take a higher road.