A Christmas to Remember

"A farmer who had a quarrelsome family called his sons and told them to lay a bunch of sticks before him. Then, after laying the sticks parallel to one another and binding them, he challenged his sons, one after one, to pick up the bundle and break it. They all tried, but in vain. Then, untying the bundle, he gave them the sticks to break one by one. This they did with the greatest ease. Then said the father, Thus, my sons, as long as you remain united, you are a match for anything, but differ and separate, and you are undone." ---Aesop Aesop

Today is Christmas day 2010. This day is ownership to a day of firsts. It is my first Christmas as a single man in 23 years. It is my first Christmas as a man of reasonable weight and not sporting a three or four as the first number on the scale. This day is the first Christmas that my beautiful children would experience as children from a broken home or broken family. Well, that is what it says on paper and according to court documents. The world points to my beautiful children and shouts that they are from a broken home. The world decrees that my beautiful children are from a broken family. Not on my watch, not as long as I am their father, not as long as I draw breathe upon this planet.

"In a broken nest there are few whole eggs." ---Chinese Proverbs

Earlier in the year my ex-wife suggested we do “one” Christmas for our children. However, as the days, weeks, months passed it became very clear that was not going to be possible. Of course, it is possible just not very desirable. After all, who wants to celebrate the biggest day of the year with those that have tossed you aside and left you in the rear view mirror? Who wants to celebrate with those that hurt you in the worst imaginable way? The answer to the “who” questions is the very person the day is marked to celebrate his birth.

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." ---Proverbs 15:13

If I am to be an example to my children and truly have their best interest at heart, is not my responsibility to place them before myself. Does it do anyone any good to sit in my home and celebrate with my children alone, only to watch them leave to attend another incomplete celebration? Therefore, after speaking with my ex-wife we decided to combine both celebrations and have “one” Christmas as a unified family unit. I can tell you this, for my part, it felt magical. We all laughed, smiled, joked and had a great time. My children were at ease and their smiles huge as they opened gifts. What was shaping up to be a Christmas of broken hearts and dreams, turned out to be a Christmas of mended hearts and new dreams born. A moment of pause for me came when my beautiful, handsome son, when realizing his father had invited his stepfather and seeing him enter the room where the Christmas tree stood with all the gifts; shouted his name and ran and gave him a hug. Just for a brief moment a thought passed through my mind, wait; should not my son hate this man? Of course not and as my son-opened gifts he would show both of his Man-buddies what he got. My boy was having a grand time with both of the men in his world coexisting and spending time together. It pleases me to see my son’s stepfather be so kind and warm to him.



My beautiful daughter had a passion and smile that will not soon be forgot. She was having a great time and having all three parents together and smiling, laughing, joking and enjoying the special day looked to be very healing for my daughter. When the gifts were opened, we convened to the kitchen/dining area where we would feast upon a quiche that I made for us all. Yes, I have a few kitchen skills and real men can eat and cook quiche. Cinnamon rolls followed the quiche. While we ate, we laughed, joked and smiled more. My son turning his nose up at the quiche and refusing to eat it garnered a few comments from the adults in the room. Suddenly, after the comments his stepfather made a comment. Talking to my son, he asks isn’t it tough having three parents? We laughed and I added, one day he may just have four. My son looks at us as we laugh and said not funny guys.





A Christmas to be remembered and one that I hope sets precedent that we can continue for many years to come. Broken family, broken home, broken dreams, broken promises, bleak future, I think not.

"One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world." ---Proverb Jewish Proverbs

"There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child." ---Henry Beecher