Pant Rant

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind." ---James Truslow Adams

Once again, people are making fun of my baggy pants. A female coworker grabbed my pants in the rear section and chimed another pair about to fall off you. She added I love walking behind you because I know that eventually I am going to get a show when those fall off. When I got home yesterday, I marched right up to my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and dropped to the bed in a rain shower of tears. How could they do this to me, how could my pants just abandon me like this… Oh, Please… Stop the drama! The truth is I arrived home and calmly walked up to my bedroom. It used to be the Bridal Suite, now I call it the Unfurnished Man Cave. Like chalk lines around a deceased body, I have carpet indent-lines where glorious furniture used to dwell. The positive side to this is I have not stubbed my toe in the dark since this furniture moved to a new residence. However, there is a slight annoyance to this as well. I now have an echo in my Unfurnished Man Cave.

Once I made it upstairs to the Unfurnished Man Cave, I opened the pant-storage drawer. If you remember when I purchased pants during the last baggy pant rant, I purchased the next few sizes smaller. I stripped out of my pants, posted the strip tease on the internet :-) and reached for the next smaller size. I slowly pulled them up. First the left leg and all was good. Then the right leg and all was good. Then over the butt and all was good. Finally, the big moment as I sucked my gut in as far as it would go without throwing out my back. Left hand on the left of the enclosure, right hand on the right of the enclosure. Then one more suck the gut in and pull like there is no tomorrow. The result was two sides coming together in harmony with a common goal to keep my assets hidden. Now, I must warn people that if the enclosure to these smaller pants happens to fail, it could be deadly. The metal enclosure would shoot off like a Ninja Star.

When I realized I was actually wearing and fitting into the smaller pants, I grabbed the baggy pair and beat on it. I did some karate moves, a little kung-fu, stomped on them, and then threw them like a fastball onto the donation pile for a thrifty store. I walked with new-found pride today in my smaller pants. I was extremely careful not to bend at the waist. I am thrilled to be in another size smaller and wish to continue the trend.

Update 10/07/2010

Weight Loss Challenge
I remain in second place in the weight loss challenge at work. I have had difficulty catching the leader. Since the first week, when he lost a great deal of weight; I have kept pace and gained a little ground. However, my admiration goes to this guy as he has continued to be motivated and disciplined for six weeks. No easy task to accomplish in the first six weeks of a weight loss program. I am happy for him and will refocus on my efforts to catch him in the remaining six weeks of the program. As of this writing, I have lost 6.50% of my body weight in the first six weeks of the program. The leader has lost an astounding 8.5% of his body weight in six weeks. Well done.

"I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude." ---Bruce Lee