Update to the post below: Our precious little Brielle was admitted to the children's hospital today and we are told she will remain there through Christmas. If you do not mind, please say a prayer for Brielle and her family.
"The Irish - Be they kings, or poets, or farmers, They're a people of great worth, They keep company with the angels, And bring a bit of heaven here to earth" ---Irish Sayings
Every now and then, you come across someone that makes you look at the world a little differently. Asked earlier this year, my beautiful wife and I teach a weekly class at our church. We teach a wonderful group of eleven-year-old children. Being new to the area, I did not know any of these children. The first day we taught this class one young woman caught my attention. They are all beautiful children and have wonderful personalities; however, one child seemed to be so enthusiastic and positive it was almost unbelievable.
This young woman had an odd hairstyle I thought as I looked upon her for the first time. Her hair was short and almost in a spike type fashion, not very flattering and looking much differently than all the other children in the class. When I would ask a volunteer to say a prayer she would raise her hand with so much enthusiasm, that she would almost eek out a slight scream. If I did not choose her for the prayer, she would immediately shout out, “I will say the closing prayer”. Her smile is contagious and her light shines very brightly.
As the weeks passed and I have gotten to know this young woman more, I would learn a great deal about her and her hairstyle. Months prior to my meeting her, this young woman had just endured a bone-marrow transplant. The remarkable young woman was diagnosed with leukemia. She has also endured radiation and chemotherapy. Now the hairstyle made sense and I felt like a fool for mentally questioning her hairstyle.
Her story does not end there as she has had various forms of health problems almost since birth. This remarkable young woman has required heart surgery and other medical procedures almost her entire life. In addition, the family discovered that her Father also discovered he had cancer when she was undergoing her bone-marrow transplant. Through all of her difficulties and trials this young woman is one of the most positive, enthusiastic, loving and charitable people I have ever had the privilege of meeting.
Never have I witnessed this young woman feel sorry for herself or question why. Her Mother says it is fitting that her younger sister be the bone-marrow donor as these two are the two children that are her most stubborn and impatient with one another. Now, they have the same blood running through their bodies.
Until four-weeks ago, her leukemia was in remission and she was making grand plans for the future. Sadly, we learned that her leukemia or another type of cancer has returned. I hope that it will require less chemotherapy and radiation. We have only seen her once since the leukemia returned. My beautiful wife delivered a blanket and card the entire class made for her. Her reaction was a huge grin that would thaw the most frigid heart. Tomorrow this beautiful young child enters the hospital for a lengthy stay to once again face daunting trials. This young woman is an Angel among us and her light shines so brightly, you cannot help feeling drawn to her.
I find it amazing how some people shine and flourish while facing the most severe trials. A truly amazing human lives life full and optimistic in the face of such demoralizing trials. It and she is a shining example to us all.
"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." ---August Wilson
"Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God." ---Bible
"We are each others angels, we meet when it is time." ---Chuck Brodsky
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
The Love of Money
Greed (noun) excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth or possessions.
"The morality of compromise' sounds contradictory. Compromise is usually a sign of weakness, or an admission of defeat. Strong men don't compromise, it is said, and principles should never be compromised. I shall argue that strong men, conversely, know when to compromise and that all principles can be compromised to serve a greater principle." ---Charles Handy
I cannot resist giving my thoughts on the National Basketball Association (NBA) lockout. Yes, it is an opinion and perhaps a useless one at that. Normally, I would always side with the worker or employee, because I work for a company that has a Union present. In my fourteen years with the company I am employed with, I have experienced this company exaggerate and outright lie numerous times. In fact, twice in those fourteen years the union or employees had to take our employer to court to find the truth. In both cases, the courts or arbitrator sided with the union/employees and gave a stern lecture to our company. Oddly, had the company just been honest and forthcoming, they would have saved a great amount of money.
That said our union/employees understand something about the world. We understand that after 9/11/01 the world changed. Well, our world here in the United States changed. The economy became frail and weak. Americans no longer spent money as they were. This led to many other issues that led to the loan and housing bubble and a myriad of other issues. Our union/employees saw the big picture and we signed contracts that went years without pay increases. We agreed to more out of our pockets to help the company pay for our insurance package. It was a mutual effort to keep the company solvent and moving forward in a different economy than before 9/11/01. Moving ahead to 2011 and the employees of our company have made many concessions to keep others from being terminated or downsized. Many Americans have made great concessions in order to remain employed. Many have lost their jobs and unemployment is still high in our nation. Foreclosures are high and houses are just not selling as they did in the past.
The NBA players want to keep going as if nothing has changed. They forget that we are paying over three dollars for a gallon of gasoline. The NBA players want to make very few, if any concessions. They forget that the owners are having a more difficult time selling tickets. Americans need the NBA to lower ticket costs. The companies of America need to have lower advertising costs associated with televised games. However, the NBA players union and agents do not want to lose anything they have bargained for in the past. Yes, they made a few concessions at the negotiations, but it was so insignificant the owners said no. The battle here is the super rich against the rich and the rest of us pay the price. The average NBA player salary is between five and six million dollars per year. Many make less and many make more. It is difficult to process why someone making five million dollars per year cannot take a ten percent pay decrease. I guess they have adjusted their lifestyle to their income like the rest of Americans do, me included. Placing this into perspective, the average NBA yearly salary is equal to one-hundred years salary of a New York City Firefighter.
"I was not able to understand how it could be right to pay an actor, or a singer, or an instrumentalist for entertaining the public and wrong to pay a ball player for doing exactly the same thing." ---Al Spalding
Today, the NBA union declined a “final” offer by the owners. I read the basics of the offer and I found it to be fair and reasonable to both parties. Remember, I normally would side with the players and the union. However, this declining of the offer has me switching teams. A fair and reasonable offer came their way and they walked away. Do they not understand that Americans have had to adjust the way we live? Gasoline alone has taken a large chunk of monthly spendable income. Employees, vendors, suppliers, nearby businesses and their employees are all financially hurting because one group of employees has decided that they should not be burdened by a weaker economy than in the past. They have decided that this is America’s problem and not theirs. The NBA players union has reared its ugly, greedy head. They have taken their ball and have gone home.
"The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life." ---Charles Schwab
"It is the nature of ambition to make men liars and cheats, to hide the truth in their breasts, and show, like jugglers, another thing in their mouths, to cut all friendships and enmities to the measure of their own interest, and to make a good countenance without the help of good will." ---Sallust Sallust
"The morality of compromise' sounds contradictory. Compromise is usually a sign of weakness, or an admission of defeat. Strong men don't compromise, it is said, and principles should never be compromised. I shall argue that strong men, conversely, know when to compromise and that all principles can be compromised to serve a greater principle." ---Charles Handy
I cannot resist giving my thoughts on the National Basketball Association (NBA) lockout. Yes, it is an opinion and perhaps a useless one at that. Normally, I would always side with the worker or employee, because I work for a company that has a Union present. In my fourteen years with the company I am employed with, I have experienced this company exaggerate and outright lie numerous times. In fact, twice in those fourteen years the union or employees had to take our employer to court to find the truth. In both cases, the courts or arbitrator sided with the union/employees and gave a stern lecture to our company. Oddly, had the company just been honest and forthcoming, they would have saved a great amount of money.
That said our union/employees understand something about the world. We understand that after 9/11/01 the world changed. Well, our world here in the United States changed. The economy became frail and weak. Americans no longer spent money as they were. This led to many other issues that led to the loan and housing bubble and a myriad of other issues. Our union/employees saw the big picture and we signed contracts that went years without pay increases. We agreed to more out of our pockets to help the company pay for our insurance package. It was a mutual effort to keep the company solvent and moving forward in a different economy than before 9/11/01. Moving ahead to 2011 and the employees of our company have made many concessions to keep others from being terminated or downsized. Many Americans have made great concessions in order to remain employed. Many have lost their jobs and unemployment is still high in our nation. Foreclosures are high and houses are just not selling as they did in the past.
The NBA players want to keep going as if nothing has changed. They forget that we are paying over three dollars for a gallon of gasoline. The NBA players want to make very few, if any concessions. They forget that the owners are having a more difficult time selling tickets. Americans need the NBA to lower ticket costs. The companies of America need to have lower advertising costs associated with televised games. However, the NBA players union and agents do not want to lose anything they have bargained for in the past. Yes, they made a few concessions at the negotiations, but it was so insignificant the owners said no. The battle here is the super rich against the rich and the rest of us pay the price. The average NBA player salary is between five and six million dollars per year. Many make less and many make more. It is difficult to process why someone making five million dollars per year cannot take a ten percent pay decrease. I guess they have adjusted their lifestyle to their income like the rest of Americans do, me included. Placing this into perspective, the average NBA yearly salary is equal to one-hundred years salary of a New York City Firefighter.
"I was not able to understand how it could be right to pay an actor, or a singer, or an instrumentalist for entertaining the public and wrong to pay a ball player for doing exactly the same thing." ---Al Spalding
Today, the NBA union declined a “final” offer by the owners. I read the basics of the offer and I found it to be fair and reasonable to both parties. Remember, I normally would side with the players and the union. However, this declining of the offer has me switching teams. A fair and reasonable offer came their way and they walked away. Do they not understand that Americans have had to adjust the way we live? Gasoline alone has taken a large chunk of monthly spendable income. Employees, vendors, suppliers, nearby businesses and their employees are all financially hurting because one group of employees has decided that they should not be burdened by a weaker economy than in the past. They have decided that this is America’s problem and not theirs. The NBA players union has reared its ugly, greedy head. They have taken their ball and have gone home.
"The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor find much fun in life." ---Charles Schwab
"It is the nature of ambition to make men liars and cheats, to hide the truth in their breasts, and show, like jugglers, another thing in their mouths, to cut all friendships and enmities to the measure of their own interest, and to make a good countenance without the help of good will." ---Sallust Sallust
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Gift Returned by Suicide
This entry may be a little harsh for some, so please be warned that I am going to share some graphic things I experienced this past week. The counselor my company requested I visit with recommended I share it.
"While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die -- whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness." ---Gilda Radner
Two weeks ago I had the misfortune of witnessing a man take his life. It is the seventh violent death I have witnessed in my life, but the first that was voluntary. One cannot adequately prepare you for such a scene. It is as shocking of a moment as I can possibly imagine. It is not a war scene where the people next to you are killed in a foxhole or a roadside bomb explodes. This was a peaceful, beautiful fall morning where my guard was down and my spirit was euphoric.
Everything seemed normal and the Train I was operating was running well. I was traveling in a 55 mph zone and I was approximately thirty seconds behind my schedule. The many gauges and controls were functioning properly and it was a very smooth, uneventful trip. The very type of trip you appreciate when you operate a train. Normally, I would pass the Southbound train five blocks North of where we were about to pass. I guess this would be both a blessing and a curse. You see if I were running right on schedule my train would end this man’s life. Instead, my thirty-second delay would place me in the position of viewing it in its entirety.
Approaching a less busy intersection in an industrial area with both trains headed towards one another on tracks running parallel to each other. Looking ahead, I see that all the crossing gates, alarms and lights are working properly and the signal to proceed is showing I began to scan the area around the gates. There were a few cars stopped behind the gates and I notice a very bright blue. This blue is a coat or jacket that a pedestrian is wearing. No big deal as everything looked normal and they looked to be waiting for the trains to pass. The Southbound train headed towards me would reach the intersection before my train. I noticed this train had their warning lights flashing and the gong or bell would be sounding as well as they are simultaneous.
I looked back at the pedestrian and I watched as he walked very quickly onto the alignment (tracks). I thought to myself he was crazy for trying to cross before the trains passed, however impatient people do it all the time, risking their lives to save a few seconds. However, I did not see him cross both tracks and because of poles between the tracks I lost sight of him for a few seconds. I wondered if he crossed. Maybe he went back to where he came from. Once I cleared the area of the poles blocking my view, I immediately noticed the blue jacket. He looked to be standing on or slightly towards the middle of the tracks. The Southbound train heading towards his location at 55 mph was approximately only 100 feet away.
Then suddenly to my shock, he quickly moved directly into the path of the southbound train. No time to radio the other train, the entire episode of entering and positioning himself was just a matter of seconds. The impact would bounce him off the train and onto the track. He would bounce twice off the track and back up, having impact with the train again. The third impact with the train would throw him towards the center or towards my track. Immediately, when the first impact took place I went into hard braking. My train would stop approximately 45 to 65 feet from his final position.
Immediately, I knew this was a fatal scene by the manner in which his body lay and how he was thrown to where he lay. Following company and Federal policy, I did all that I was expected to do, albeit shaking and somewhat shocked. I did much of the radio communication as the other operator was in a bit more shock. I looked at this man, broken, twisted and laying peacefully there in the rocks. My thoughts immediately turned to what brought a man to this point. What in his life brought him to the point that he forfeited the most amazing gift of life?
I will not judge this man for doing what he did. I am curious as to why he did what he did. When I learned his age during debrief, I was a bit surprised. He moved rather quickly and I learned he was 86 years of age. Perhaps he found he had a terminal disease. Maybe he lost the love of his life. Perhaps he was just lonely and depressed.
How many lives could he influence if he took a different course? Instead of ending his life, what if he volunteered and took joy and happiness to those lacking. He had an amazing opportunity to make children feel special. A lifetime of experience to share with a lonely friend he had yet to meet. Even if terminal, the most amazing lesson and experience I have had was losing a great friend to cancer. My friend turned down medication for pain until six days before death. He wanted to be coherent when his friends and relatives would visit during his final days. He laughed, joked and kept a positive attitude until the end. In his final day, he shared with me that he did not mind dying, but hated the fact that he was leaving his wife. In the end, his body gave out, while his mind was still bright, active and wanting to live on. He taught me more about life, love and selflessness in death than I have learned from anyone living.
Life is a gift to us all. It is not always easy, nor is it void of pain and suffering. We all experience a broken heart, a lonely time, and feelings of despair. There are times when we all wonder if it is worth it. I consider myself extremely blessed. I love a wonderful woman, have a beautiful home and I am blessed to share my life with amazing children. Many people, like myself have suffered from two decades of obesity and the prejudice that comes with that condition. Many have experienced a broken heart and cruelty that I pray no other should experience. Many of us have had our amazing children taken from us for at least 50% of their young lives. Many have experienced financial collapse and ruin. Many have lost a best friend to cancer. Many have experienced abusive and cruel behavior from some of the most hurtful people we have ever met. We are not special, nor are we above average. We are simply people that understand one thing about all of our experiences. That nothing we have experienced is equal to that which one man experienced. Whipped, beaten, cursed, spat upon, wrapped in thorns, nailed and displayed on a cross for the masses. We are people of faith. If you have faith and in times of despair, if you lean on that faith and with a humble heart ask for guidance, it will come. In fact, it will carry you through it and to a better, more fruitful life.
Life is a gift and our free agency allows us to choose what we do with it. I wish that two weeks ago Monday a certain man of 86 years would have looked at the trains headed towards him and realized one thing. He has an amazing gift to share and lift others to a higher calling in life. No matter what ailed him, he had the power and strength to overcome it through faith.
"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have and that is life itself." ---Walter Anderson
"You have the duty and gift of living. You don't have the right to sit on the sidelines-use your life and get back into the game." ---Phillip McGraw
"While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die -- whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness." ---Gilda Radner
Two weeks ago I had the misfortune of witnessing a man take his life. It is the seventh violent death I have witnessed in my life, but the first that was voluntary. One cannot adequately prepare you for such a scene. It is as shocking of a moment as I can possibly imagine. It is not a war scene where the people next to you are killed in a foxhole or a roadside bomb explodes. This was a peaceful, beautiful fall morning where my guard was down and my spirit was euphoric.
Everything seemed normal and the Train I was operating was running well. I was traveling in a 55 mph zone and I was approximately thirty seconds behind my schedule. The many gauges and controls were functioning properly and it was a very smooth, uneventful trip. The very type of trip you appreciate when you operate a train. Normally, I would pass the Southbound train five blocks North of where we were about to pass. I guess this would be both a blessing and a curse. You see if I were running right on schedule my train would end this man’s life. Instead, my thirty-second delay would place me in the position of viewing it in its entirety.
Approaching a less busy intersection in an industrial area with both trains headed towards one another on tracks running parallel to each other. Looking ahead, I see that all the crossing gates, alarms and lights are working properly and the signal to proceed is showing I began to scan the area around the gates. There were a few cars stopped behind the gates and I notice a very bright blue. This blue is a coat or jacket that a pedestrian is wearing. No big deal as everything looked normal and they looked to be waiting for the trains to pass. The Southbound train headed towards me would reach the intersection before my train. I noticed this train had their warning lights flashing and the gong or bell would be sounding as well as they are simultaneous.
I looked back at the pedestrian and I watched as he walked very quickly onto the alignment (tracks). I thought to myself he was crazy for trying to cross before the trains passed, however impatient people do it all the time, risking their lives to save a few seconds. However, I did not see him cross both tracks and because of poles between the tracks I lost sight of him for a few seconds. I wondered if he crossed. Maybe he went back to where he came from. Once I cleared the area of the poles blocking my view, I immediately noticed the blue jacket. He looked to be standing on or slightly towards the middle of the tracks. The Southbound train heading towards his location at 55 mph was approximately only 100 feet away.
Then suddenly to my shock, he quickly moved directly into the path of the southbound train. No time to radio the other train, the entire episode of entering and positioning himself was just a matter of seconds. The impact would bounce him off the train and onto the track. He would bounce twice off the track and back up, having impact with the train again. The third impact with the train would throw him towards the center or towards my track. Immediately, when the first impact took place I went into hard braking. My train would stop approximately 45 to 65 feet from his final position.
Immediately, I knew this was a fatal scene by the manner in which his body lay and how he was thrown to where he lay. Following company and Federal policy, I did all that I was expected to do, albeit shaking and somewhat shocked. I did much of the radio communication as the other operator was in a bit more shock. I looked at this man, broken, twisted and laying peacefully there in the rocks. My thoughts immediately turned to what brought a man to this point. What in his life brought him to the point that he forfeited the most amazing gift of life?
I will not judge this man for doing what he did. I am curious as to why he did what he did. When I learned his age during debrief, I was a bit surprised. He moved rather quickly and I learned he was 86 years of age. Perhaps he found he had a terminal disease. Maybe he lost the love of his life. Perhaps he was just lonely and depressed.
How many lives could he influence if he took a different course? Instead of ending his life, what if he volunteered and took joy and happiness to those lacking. He had an amazing opportunity to make children feel special. A lifetime of experience to share with a lonely friend he had yet to meet. Even if terminal, the most amazing lesson and experience I have had was losing a great friend to cancer. My friend turned down medication for pain until six days before death. He wanted to be coherent when his friends and relatives would visit during his final days. He laughed, joked and kept a positive attitude until the end. In his final day, he shared with me that he did not mind dying, but hated the fact that he was leaving his wife. In the end, his body gave out, while his mind was still bright, active and wanting to live on. He taught me more about life, love and selflessness in death than I have learned from anyone living.
Life is a gift to us all. It is not always easy, nor is it void of pain and suffering. We all experience a broken heart, a lonely time, and feelings of despair. There are times when we all wonder if it is worth it. I consider myself extremely blessed. I love a wonderful woman, have a beautiful home and I am blessed to share my life with amazing children. Many people, like myself have suffered from two decades of obesity and the prejudice that comes with that condition. Many have experienced a broken heart and cruelty that I pray no other should experience. Many of us have had our amazing children taken from us for at least 50% of their young lives. Many have experienced financial collapse and ruin. Many have lost a best friend to cancer. Many have experienced abusive and cruel behavior from some of the most hurtful people we have ever met. We are not special, nor are we above average. We are simply people that understand one thing about all of our experiences. That nothing we have experienced is equal to that which one man experienced. Whipped, beaten, cursed, spat upon, wrapped in thorns, nailed and displayed on a cross for the masses. We are people of faith. If you have faith and in times of despair, if you lean on that faith and with a humble heart ask for guidance, it will come. In fact, it will carry you through it and to a better, more fruitful life.
Life is a gift and our free agency allows us to choose what we do with it. I wish that two weeks ago Monday a certain man of 86 years would have looked at the trains headed towards him and realized one thing. He has an amazing gift to share and lift others to a higher calling in life. No matter what ailed him, he had the power and strength to overcome it through faith.
"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have and that is life itself." ---Walter Anderson
"You have the duty and gift of living. You don't have the right to sit on the sidelines-use your life and get back into the game." ---Phillip McGraw
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