Monday, February 7, 2011

Dating is not for the Faint of Heart

"There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love." ---Johnny Depp

I thought I would share a few of my experiences in the dating world thus far. I have to admit that I never liked dating, even when I was younger. I like spending time with that special someone; the process of finding that special someone is undesirable. Many of the women I have dated are tremendous, beautiful women and I am not worthy. They had no problem letting me know that and a few other comments along the way. I had one experience where I took an attractive woman out to eat and we began talking. I sensed that she might have a little anger bottled up inside her and asked how she processes anger. Thankfully, she said she never gets angry because that can ruin relationships. Then she informs me that she is a disciplinarian and has no problem shouting at her children. I ask, you shout at your children. Suddenly, in a very elevated and loud voice with a red face blasts out; did you not just hear me? I said I have no problem shouting at my children to get what I want! Everyone around us stopped eating, conversing, and stared in our direction. No, she has no anger issues at all.

Another experience includes a date where this woman sneezed constantly. This was no ordinary sneeze. It is a constant, extremely loud and frightening type of sneeze that made people stare. The first time she did it, I nearly had a heart attack. Imagine sitting in a movie theater and the movie playing. Suddenly, the loudest foghorn sounds less than two feet from your ear. Everyone in the theater laughed because it scared us all. I can overlook many things, including snoring and other bodily noises, but a decibel-deafening sneeze is a bit much for me. It is like someone blasting that foghorn when you least expect throughout the day and evening.

"Alas, how love can trifle with itself!" ---William Shakespeare

My favorite experience thus far is the woman that wanted to have sex less than ten minutes into meeting each other. Why is this my favorite? Because I am, a shy boy and it really caught me off guard. This woman had no idea who I was, what my back ground was, if I was disease free, nothing known and apparently nothing needed. I had heard stories of men having dates like this, but shy boy Todd ever having a date like that seemed unrealistic. However, in real world it was frightening. I hold intimacy as a deeper connection with someone you love. I guess I would not have done well in the sixties. Sex just to have sex and feel good, is just not my way. However, if I am honest I will say it was tempting.

In conclusion, I would like to say that I have had many dates with wonderful women that were wonderful experiences. Many said no to another date, which makes me wonder if I am being written about on a blog somewhere about my horrible habit or behavior. That is a frightening thought that someone would find me undesirable. Okay, that sentence makes me laugh. The whole reason I am dating is someone found me undesirable.

Dating and weight loss or weight reduction are very similar indeed. Whether you are a man or woman dating, sometimes it is such a great feeling to shed something you no longer desire. Unfortunately, it is not such a great feeling if you are the one being shed. Dating is fun and exciting with the right person and uncomfortable at best with the wrong person. The first meeting, the first date, the first kiss, the first everything has so much meaning and message that it can be overwhelming. Oddly, I am not nervous at all about this process. When I was a young boy dating, I thought I would die walking up to a girl’s door. Now, I just hope no one answers the door naked.


"It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to." ---Marilyn Ferguson

"Neither genius, fame, nor love show the greatness of the soul. Only kindness can do that." ---Jean Lacordaire

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