Lost

Wow... it has been a very long time.  The past sixteen months has been a real roller coaster.  Wonderful highs and the lowest of lows.  I'm writing this from my phone, therfore, proof reading a little tough and auto correct is evil.

Today, I find myself once again in a reinvention state of being.  As much as it pains me to say, I am once again in the process of getting a divorce.  I could go on and on why it didn't work, but that really doesn't matter, the facts are... second marriage... second divorce.  I did all I could to keep the marriage in tact, but at the end of the day it takes two people working together to keep a marriage alive and well.  Realizing my partner had no desire to work with me in creating a stronger relationship, bond and marriage, it became time for me to move out.  I've been separated for four months now and I believe my divorce will be final in October.

I'm back on the weight loss bandwagon, three years of stressful living and I found the good drugs again... the carbohydrates.  Time to send them packing, because my jeans have no more room for butt extending carbohydrates.

I'm still writing and begin a Master Screenwriting Certificate program in January.  I'm really excited to continue my journey as a screenwriting student.

I will check in again soon and if a forty-something, gorgeous, patient, tolerant woman that likes going to movies passes your way, help a guy out and tell them to leave me a message.  Hahaha.

WHY?

Let me begin by admitting I do not have permission, nor have I asked.  I simply feel that this young woman and her story are too important not to share with the world.

Original Post:

Update to the post below: Our precious little Brielle was admitted to the children's hospital today and we are told she will remain there through Christmas. If you do not mind, please say a prayer for Brielle and her family.
 
"The Irish - Be they kings, or poets, or farmers, They're a people of great worth, They keep company with the angels, And bring a bit of heaven here to earth" ---Irish Sayings

Every now and then, you come across someone that makes you look at the world a little differently. Asked earlier this year, my beautiful wife and I teach a weekly class at our church. We teach a wonderful group of eleven-year-old children. Being new to the area, I did not know any of these children. The first day we taught this class one young woman caught my attention. They are all beautiful children and have wonderful personalities; however, one child seemed to be so enthusiastic and positive it was almost unbelievable.

This young woman had an odd hairstyle I thought as I looked upon her for the first time. Her hair was short and almost in a spike type fashion, not very flattering and looking much differently than all the other children in the class. When I would ask a volunteer to say a prayer she would raise her hand with so much enthusiasm, that she would almost eek out a slight scream. If I did not choose her for the prayer, she would immediately shout out, “I will say the closing prayer”. Her smile is contagious and her light shines very brightly.

As the weeks passed and I have gotten to know this young woman more, I would learn a great deal about her and her hairstyle. Months prior to my meeting her, this young woman had just endured a bone-marrow transplant. The remarkable young woman was diagnosed with leukemia. She has also endured radiation and chemotherapy. Now the hairstyle made sense and I felt like a fool for mentally questioning her hairstyle.

Her story does not end there as she has had various forms of health problems almost since birth. This remarkable young woman has required heart surgery and other medical procedures almost her entire life. In addition, the family discovered that her Father also discovered he had cancer when she was undergoing her bone-marrow transplant. Through all of her difficulties and trials this young woman is one of the most positive, enthusiastic, loving and charitable people I have ever had the privilege of meeting.

Never have I witnessed this young woman feel sorry for herself or question why. Her Mother says it is fitting that her younger sister be the bone-marrow donor as these two are the two children that are her most stubborn and impatient with one another. Now, they have the same blood running through their bodies.

Until four-weeks ago, her leukemia was in remission and she was making grand plans for the future. Sadly, we learned that her leukemia or another type of cancer has returned. I hope that it will require less chemotherapy and radiation. We have only seen her once since the leukemia returned. My beautiful wife delivered a blanket and card the entire class made for her. Her reaction was a huge grin that would thaw the most frigid heart. Tomorrow this beautiful young child enters the hospital for a lengthy stay to once again face daunting trials. This young woman is an Angel among us and her light shines so brightly, you cannot help feeling drawn to her.

I find it amazing how some people shine and flourish while facing the most severe trials. A truly amazing human lives life full and optimistic in the face of such demoralizing trials. It and she is a shining example to us all.

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." ---August Wilson


"Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God." ---Bible

"We are each others angels, we meet when it is time." ---Chuck Brodsky

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It breaks my heart to announce that our beautiful angel… Brielle has learned her cancer has returned for the third time.  Her body is too frail and cannot sustain another bone marrow transplant.   The doctor’s have informed her that there is nothing more they can do for her.

My thoughts are what I would do if it were my child or me.  If it were I, I would most likely cry, shout, and feel anger, sadness and despair.  Brielle, made a bucket list.  Seriously, this amazing child made a bucket list to live every moment full.  Life is full speed ahead for this young woman and she plans to live a lifetime in the short time allotted to her. 

Her first task I have learned was telling her classmates that she would not be here much longer.  I understand she then spent the day comforting them and building their excitement for living a full life.  Her bucket list… I have seen it, is no small list.  A community is coming together to assist in trying to see that precious Brielle has every opportunity to complete her list.  A Prom with no Prom ahead, no problem… the community is going to hold a Prom.  Young women are getting their dresses as I write.  My guess is Brielle’s dance card will be full.  There are tons of things on Brielle’s list and one by one, day by day she checks them off. 

Brielle’s infectious smile, her positive attitude and her zest for living are a strong message for all of us.  I enjoyed every minute of having Brielle in my class at Church.  The world, my world, my community, my church, my neighbors, my friends, my sky, my stars will all soon be a little less brilliant.  An Angel among us is soon returning home.  Our Angel leaves us with this valuable lesson and message.  Live, Love, Laugh and always remember, it is not the amount of years we live, but the amount of living we do in those years.   

Beautiful Brielle with her bone marrow donor, beautiful younger sister, whom I also had the awesome pleasure of having in one of my classes for a year.

Make-A-Wish trip to Disney World.  Beautiful Brielle is the one in red pants, standing on Mickey's left in front of her Mother.

I love this family and my life is better for knowing and learning from them.  Brielle's amazing spirit and message will live on through all who know her and have experienced her amazing qualities. 

      

Humbled, Learning and Grateful

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."   ---Nelson Mandela

Wonderful quote above, I would add that if your education does not change the world, it certainly changes "your" world.

The past couple of weeks have been very educational, difficult and filled with lots and lots of homework.  I have learned many new things and I also learned that many things I knew from school many years ago no longer apply.  

I completed all assignments and reached the point where I decide what screenplay I write for the course.  The catch to this is that you have to run all of your ideas through a successful producer that has marketed and sold many screenplays and developed them into feature films.  This was a very educational phone call for me and hearing the criticism for many of my ideas was daunting.  When I mentioned an idea he liked, his tone, behavior and adrenaline kicked in and he became very excited.  That was cool and I could not sleep for a couple of days.  The tough part now begins.  The idea he liked was one I am not too familiar with and must do research and really stretch myself to take a blank page and create an entertainment value and something that will touch the heart, soul and minds of Producers, Agents, Managers, Actors and obviously movie goers.  

I have until August to create this screenplay and I will be working with my class of writers, instructors, two producers and a screenplay analyst.  However, the bottom line is that all decisions are mine and the product will be mine.  Then a slow and methodical process begins to market it and see if there is any interest in the product I create.  A slight hurdle is that only about 1% or less of "Spec" screenplays are ever purchased. 

... The journey continues.

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."   ---Robert Frost

"When writing remember criticism isn't personal, it's technical.  Take what is liked and make it loved, take what isn't liked and make it loved.  Always improve your writing and always improve yourself at least 1% everyday.  Falling in love with your writing to the point of inflexibility imprisons you and your career."   ---Todd Hurley  

The Journey Continues

"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome."   ---Arthur Ashe

It all begins today!  Beginning at Noon Pacific time I embark on a six month journey of education.  It will be difficult, fun, educational and empowering.  Today, I begin a six-month course for writers.  It is a very busy course with daily assignments, critique and confidence building.  Taught by those that have done it and taken the journey before me.

It is not for the faint of heart and I have already learned that I will get out of this course what I put forth.  I am bursting at the seems with excitement.  Sadly, most people in my life have little or no interest in it whatsoever.  They find my talking about it extremely boring and many times just tune me out.  I guess that leaves the unseen cyber world as my confidant.

I will be extremely busy, but hope to stop by now and then to share my experiences, successes, failures and excitement.  It is the journey that excites me.  You never know where the journey may lead.  

"The journey has been incredible from its beginning."   ---Sidney Poitier

"It's a life's journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else."   ---Mariska Hargitay

"The person born with a talent they are meant to use will find their greatest happiness in using it."   ---Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Where Have All The Leaders Gone

"Leadership is unlocking people's potential to become better."   ---Bill Bradley

I ventured out today on a date with my wife and viewed the movie Lincoln.  As a student of screenwriting and movie making, I am sure this movie is embellished somewhat for entertainment purposes.  I am no history expert on the life or actions of President Lincoln and I am sure he had many faults, as we all do.  However, what I do know of his life and his Presidency it leaves me with the question of what has happened to real leaders in this country?

 

It seems to me in today's world that politicians on both sides are more yes people to the rich and corporate entities that support them than they are leaders.  Our current President is so ripe with potential and ability and squanders it with inflexibility and party lines that his potential is lost.  His most recent challenger in the election is another potential great leader that could not get over his own prejudice and education that he became extremely intolerant.  Neither man has lived up to their true potential and shown real leadership.  

 

"Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes."   ---Peter Drucker

 

Today's leaders are intolerant of anyone with beliefs other than their own.  During my life I have not witnessed one President that has demonstrated true leadership.  In my opinion, both political parties in America are way off track and intolerant of one another.  Any party that caters to one side more than the other is certainly biased and unfair.  The so called Tea Party is nauseating to say the least.  Radio talk shows fuel and feed this intolerant, inflexible type of behavior.  

 

I am not a member of either political party and do not favor one side more than the other.  I wonder what happened to responsibility.  Everyone in politics wants a balanced budget, but scoffs at it if it hits their own back yard.  NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) is the way of politics.  Every politician wants to cut spending as long as it is done in another state.  Would fairness not support an equal cut across the board to all programs in equal amounts?

 

Where is a President that stands before the people and says, we are in trouble, we need to change, we all need to sacrifice.  Where is the President that bails out the people and not the Corporations or Banks.  Where is the President that says we are going to let the banking and real estate sectors solve their own problems, but we have set up programs to ensure no one starves or goes homeless.  Does the money not belong to the people?  Where is the President that looks Congress in the eye and states he will not sign a budget with a deficit.  Where is the President that stands before the people and answers to the people and not to the financial supporters of their election.  

 

Where have all the leaders gone?

  

 

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."   ---Abraham Lincoln   

Superbowl or Super Waste

"Tonight I plan on having such an awesome night, Morgan Freeman should narrate it."   ---Author Unknown

The Superbowl of 2013!  Was it super or a super waste of time?  On my drive home from the game I was shocked at the amount of traffic on the road on their way home from Superbowl parties and gatherings.  I wondered if every city in every state looked like this at this moment.  There was far more traffic on the roads following the Superbowl than I have ever seen following Fourth of July celebrations.  That is a great many parties taking place around this grand country.

I have to admit, I am a Superbowl party enthusiast.  I believe everyone should have or attend a Superbowl party.  In America one of the things we do best is come together as family, friends and neighbors and celebrate.  We do it often, but not nearly often enough.

I must admit that as the day approached I was somewhat depressed, because our 60+ inch television is having difficulties.  Procrastination led to not getting it repaired in time for the big game to host my own party.  I know, I know, as popular as I think I am there should have been multiple Superbowl party invites.  Sadly, there were none.  Sure, I could venture to a Sports Grill and watch the big game, but that takes the fun out of it for me.  It's not just a game, it's a grand celebration and should be done with someone you know or love.  What to do.

Getting out of church just two hours before the big game, I gave my undivided attention to finding a party for my family to attend.  Just who's party shall we crash?

"Life is all about learning lessons and counting blessings!"   ---Author Unknown 

In years past many Superbowl parties were held at my parents home.  Many family members would attend and it would be a grand feast!  We would have drawings, games and prizes.  It made for great times and greater memories.  My Father passed away last August and I was certain my Mother was going to one of my Sister's homes for their grand party.  I guess all things eventually come to an end.

Before making the final decision on the party I would crash, I phoned my 82 year-old Mother.  I asked her where she was going for the Superbowl?  She replied... nowhere.  I asked who was coming to her home for the Superbowl.  She replied... no one.  The phone filled with silence.  How could this be?  How could the woman that hosted such grand Superbowl parties not be attending one, nor hosting one.  I asked, do you mind if we come to your home for the Superbowl?  Her enthusiastic yes was followed by, I have no food.  I replied that was not a problem.  On our way we stopped off at the grocery store and loaded up with food and snacks.  We made it to her home thirty-minutes before kick-off.

My Mother lit-up when we entered her home and it was evident that she enjoyed the company.  It was a very valuable lesson for this arrogant guy.  Superbowl parties are not a waste at all.  In fact, they are just the opposite.  They are an incredible opportunity to reach out to our fellow citizens and bring a few hours of joy to all of us.  Loneliness is a very real thing in many people's lives.  I should never have assumed that my Mother was going to be taken care of and invited to a party.  In fact, in the years to come, after my sweet Mother leaves this Earth; I will do my best to find someone that would otherwise be left out to attend our party or take the party to them.

The Superbowl is a football game.  It is also a showcase for wonderful, fun commercials and a unique half-time show.  Most of all, the Superbowl is a party for all of us to love, laugh and show friendship to one another.  It is an opportunity to celebrate life and reach out to others.  

"Sometimes I feel like the last cookie in the cookie jar; broken and alone."   ---Author Unknown

"The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love."   ---Henry Miller

Gone Missing and Self-Doubt

 JULIET
 O think'st thou we shall ever meet again? 

 ROMEO
 I doubt it not; and all these woes shall serve
 For sweet discourses in our time to come.

I actually had to search for my own blog.  It has been awhile since I posted here.  Much has gone on in my life in recent months, some great and some not so great.  Overall, it has been the most wonderful thing each of us is blessed with, living a life.

This past summer was a good summer filled with fun times, great friends and wonderful memories.  It was great to spend a great deal more time with my wife and children during the summer.  I had the great opportunity to attend my High School Reunion where I reconnected with many wonderful friends of the past.  I really did have a great time.

Sadly, as my last post indicates, my Father passed away this past summer as well.  My Mother is still feeling the deep sense of loss and loneliness following a sixty-year marriage.  I am in awe of their ability to keep their marriage together for so long, something I will never experience.  Unless, I manage to live to be 106 years-old and my wife does not toss me out.

I took on a new job.  I decided to return to Rail Road and earned my Locomotive Engineer’s License.  It is a fun job, albeit somewhat stressful.  I have never experienced in my life a stressful moment like that which comes with the controls of a train and a human placing themselves in front of that train by accident or by design.  The Engineer does all they can to preserve that person’s life, but in the end, the Engineer is really just a spectator to a horrific event.
 
I started a hobby.  This hobby is a great deal of fun for me.  I have to be careful because I could completely spend too much time with this hobby.  Truth be told, I wish it were a career more than a hobby.  This hobby consumed the time that I used to spend on this blog.  I wrote a complete screenplay using a logline that was created for a contest.  This tested my creativity and story telling abilities.  Hearing a logline for the first time and then creating an entire story and screenplay from that logline is challenging.  The logline is a short sentence or phrase explaining the screenplay or movie. 

“A 17th Century tale of adventure on the Caribbean Sea where the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow joins forces with a young blacksmith in a gallant attempt to rescue the Governor of England’s daughter and reclaim his ship” … Pirates of the Caribbean.   

The above logline is what the screenplay writers used to write or describe the movie.  Many times writers or aspiring writers have an idea about a movie and have mapped out the details in their minds for years.  When someone provides a logline for you, it is not something you have worked on or thought of and this is where you find if you really have any talent as a writer.  It was challenging and a great deal of fun.
 
I have learned that I am not nearly as thick-skinned as I would like to be.  I have shown only two people and both really liked my screenplay.  One of those is a Film Director and they have encouraged me to market this and see if it can be sold.  My thoughts on the matter are it was an excellent training and education.  Self-doubt is a killer of many dreams and denies the world of many great experiences. 
 

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”   …Sylvia Plath

Today my imagination was stirred when I was visiting my Mother and watched a program with her called “The Chew”.  On this episode, an actor named Andrew McCarthy was on the cooking segment.  The Chef was telling the audience about Andrew’s newest job of writing segments for National Geographic Travel and other writing jobs for traveling the world.  The Chef asked Andrew if he had gone to school or obtained great amounts of education in obtaining the new job.  Andrew said that he simply discovered he had a passion for traveling and writing.  Following what he did for his acting passion, he found a way to turn his passion into an income.  He is now paid for doing what he loves.  Andrew McCarthy, job well done for pursuing your passions that ultimately leads to people’s enjoyment.  May we all learn to be so bold and brave to follow our passions and dreams.  

"It's heartbreaking to see so many people trapped in a web of enforced idleness, deep debt, and gnawing self-doubt"   ...William J. Clinton

"Self-doubt kills talent"   ...Edie McClurg

"I found my first novel difficult. I don't want to make it sound like it's any more difficult than driving a cab or going to any other job, but there are so many opportunities for self-doubt, that you just kind of need to soldier on"   ...Anthony Doerr

Father Laid To Rest

"I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect."   ---Adam Sandler

 

http://www.funeralrecording.com/index.cfm?pageid=172&lid=3793

 

Patrick Jay Hurley Sr.  05/13/1930 - 08/21/2012

 

 

 

Many people assist in the shaping and molding of our lives.  There is none more influential than our parents are.  Good or bad, our parents play a vital role in the person we become.  The amazing and daunting thing about being a parent is realizing that everything we do or do not do is a lesson to our children. 

Looking back on my childhood, I have many wonderful and amazing memories.  My mother was and is a saint.  Nearly every compassionate bone in my being is a direct result of my mother’s unconditional love, kindness, charity and gentleness.  My father was a great person, albeit rough around the edges.  Looking back at my life with him, I have many fond memories.

Sadly, my relationship with my father was lacking due to one troublesome character trait.  My father had a very foul temper at times.  I am not the only one that had to endure this temper, but all six of my siblings and my mother as well.  Speaking for myself only, once I reached my teenage years I never felt completely at ease around my father.  He did not abuse me or physically harm me in any way.  Just those angry, foul and loud rare occasions left their mark.  Even when my father became very weak and frail, he occasionally lost it, taking my right back to the frightened child I was during those moments.  An uncomfortable feeling would engulf me.    

Amazingly, these rare occasions also contained valuable lessons for me.  Every time I get angry with my children, I remember my childhood and this helps me be more patient and more understanding.  In my father’s defense, I have been told he had it much worse than I did as a child. 

My father had a difficult childhood and unlike me, never really had a support line.  His father abandoned him, his mother and siblings.  My father literally had to carve his own way in life without anyone assisting him.  Every time in my life when I have fallen on my butt, my parents were there to pick me up, dust me off and send me on my way.  My father had no such support.  He succeeded or he failed, but he was the one that picked himself up.  He did this with a wife and seven children.  Amazingly, he did not fail much.  I never remember a time when we were ever in need or lacking in all the things required for a wonderful life. 

My father was fearless and carved out his life with gusto.  I had the awesome experience of traveling to Mexico many, many times with my father.  The man simply was fearless.  No matter what obstacles he faced in a foreign land, he pushed through them, all the while not knowing the language spoken.  I remember one such trip with my father.  I was a teenager and we were pulled over in Mexico by law enforcement.  It was a simple traffic violation of speeding slightly.  The officer did not speak English and we did not speak Spanish.  He made my father get out of the car and it looked as though he was making him get into the police car.  My father looked at me and I am sure all kinds of thoughts rushed through his head.  He looked at the officer and then reached into his wallet and handed the officer a twenty-dollar bill.  I was extremely frightened at that sight.  The officer smiled, took the twenty and shook my father’s hand.  The officer then proceeded to give us an escort to the location we were headed. 

So many stories and experiences are positive.  My father was a very good man.  I know that my father loved my mother, my siblings and me.  My brother and I spoke at his service today and it shall once again be one of the fond moments of my experience with my father.  Mother should you ever read this, I love you and I am deeply saddened for your loss.  Sixty years you were by my father’s side and for the past five years, you cared for him, many times on your own.  You are a saint and Patrick hit the lottery when he found you.  Father, I thank you from the deepest, most sincere part of my soul.  I heard and learned all that you had to teach.  Those harsh times and harsh moments… water under the bridge.  I will miss you. 

"Harsh words of the past replaced with gentle tears on his face. A final breath breathed, then a still, silent heart. Many lessons taught, some very good and a few were very bad. Through it all though, I was a damn lucky lad, for in today's world I was one of the few with a supportive Dad."   ---Todd Hurley   

 

The Garbot Principle

 

"We can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you."   ---Mark Twain

I heard a talk recently about a life principle in which the speaker referred to as the Garbot Principle.  I thought it had an odd ring to it and when I learned that his teenage daughter coined the phrase, it made sense. 

The speaker spoke of his daughter when she was a young child, saying she never threw anything away.  Year after year, her bedroom would be so cluttered because she would not allow anyone to throw out her old toys or clothes.  It reminded me of the person that suffers from hoarding.  A hoarder can have a very difficult life.  However, this child was not really a hoarder, but more along the lines of a recycler. 

As this young girl grew into her teenage years, she was an exceptionally creative person.  She excelled at decorating and clever with crafts.  Her imagination would bring a great smile to her parents.

One afternoon she came to her parents and told them she was working on a project and needed complete privacy in the workshop area.  They allowed her this privacy.  Several weeks later, she came to them with a concealed box and said her project was inside.  Excitedly, she asked them if they would like to see her creation.  Of course, they wanted to see what their inventive teenager had created.  After opening the box, she pulled out a Robot.  Their daughter had constructed a robot and it looked eerily familiar to them.  The excited teenager informed them that she made this robot entirely from the garbage out of the trashcan and named it appropriately Garbot.  They realized it looked familiar because many of the parts of this robot came from the garbage they discarded from their lives.  They were thrilled with her creativity.

Jumping ahead a few years her Mother was assisting her in cleaning her room.  Because she recycles so many things, she often had clutter.  This time something was different, the smell in her room was awful.  They continued to clean the room and the smell remained.  Finally, the room clean, the smell remaining, her Mother looked under the bed.  There hiding under the bed was a bag.  Her Mother pulled the bag out from under the bed and revealed a trash bag that the young woman had taken from the family trashcan.  It was the source of the smell.  Both of her parents asked her why she would do such a thing.  They asked why she would retrieve trash and place it in her bedroom.  Her answer was that inside the trash bag were valuable items, not all of them were worthy of becoming trash and so lightly discarded.  Her belief is that among the trash were items of great value.

Her Father took several days to reflect upon her comments.  In the days to come, he would talk to her about the Garbot Principle.  This principle is keeping the harmful trash in our lives because we believe hidden among the trash are items of value.  He explained that even something of value, if laden with harmful trash can destroy a life.  He taught his daughter that the Garbot Principle goes way beyond trash and recycling.  It applies to all areas of our lives.  The food we eat, the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the beverages we drink, even the language we use.  He explained that almost everything that is trash has some value; however, it also has the ability to destroy our lives.  The worst food we can eat has nutrition in it.  Sugar cereals add vitamins and minerals to make the trashy cereal have value.  Movies with great messages are cluttered with nudity or foul language.  The examples he mentioned were many. 

So many things in our lives that actually have harmful repercussions, we hold onto because we see something of value.  I know as I examine my own life that there are so many things that I continue to keep in my life because I see something of such small value.  I do not want to admit that the bulk of these things are actually more harmful than good.  The Garbot Principle is to let go of harmful things, habits and behaviors regardless of some value if the majority of it is trash. 

"You may be able to get away with bad habits 10 times. But all it takes is one time and the law of averages catches up with you."   ---Jay Ofsanik

 

 

"The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones."   ---W. Somerset Maugham

          

A Simple Thought

I read this thought the other day and I thought I would share it.

"If you are not moving towards something you want or desire, everything you want or desire is moving away from you."

Our Dreams Expire

 

"All our dreams can come true...if we have the courage to pursue them."   ---Walt Disney

I have been AWOL for a while.  Actually, I have been very busy and much of that has been writing.  Well, there has been a great deal of athletic events with my kids.  Four days per week, I have found myself at a park cheering or practicing with my children in various sports.  My writing time that was devoted to my blog, for the most part, has been devoted to pursuing my desires or dreams if you will.

I thought I would break away from that writing to share something that really left an impression with me.  First, let me take you back a few years to 19 cough, cough, 87.  I was in college and among the classes I was taking were creative writing, screenplay writing and film classes.  Seriously, I never envisioned myself as a George Lucas or Steven Spielberg, but I was fascinated with the process.  It was a fools dream, but a dream nonetheless. 

A few weeks ago, I decided to take a course where I would work with a Director/Writer for six weeks.  I discovered it would be a one-on-one course and I would have the Instructor’s undivided attention.  The day before I went to my first session, I read about a Worldwide Screenplay Contest. 

I listened and answered questions during my first session and he asked me my experience.  I was hesitant and shy about it.  I looked him in the eyes and said that I took a few classes almost 25 years ago.  He looked a bit shocked; I think he thought I would be a bit more experienced.  That first session was spent reading a screenplay he wrote and he would question my knowledge of the terms and formatting.  Obviously, a few things have changed and honestly, I have forgotten many things.

Near the end of the session, he suggested that I work on writing a screenplay of my own and each week we would work on it.  He said he wanted five pages of screenplay done every week to bring to class.  We would read them together and learn as I write.  Kind of like earning while, you are learning, minus the money.  He asked what I wanted to write about in my screenplay.  I told him I have no idea.  I told him of the contest where they give you a tagline and you write a feature length screenplay based on the tagline.  He asked what the tagline was.  “A soldier returns from serving 18-months at war, to discover his home and address do not exist.”  He thought it sounded interesting and urged me to bring five pages by next week’s class.

I was excited to be writing and taking this class.  The next class arrives and I sit down in his office.  He asks me if I got my five pages of homework finished and I answered yes.  I opened a folder and handed him my work.  He looked at it and looked back at me confused.  He said this is not five pages.  I answered, no sir, it is twenty-five pages.  He smiled and said well; let me see what you have here.  He began to read.  That is the most difficult part for me, letting others read and review my work.  My skin is as thin as an oversized chewing gum bubble.

He is quietly reading and I want to hide.  I am feeling very uncomfortable and wished that I could leave.  Then something weird happened.  As he reads my screenplay, I hear him whisper to himself.  I looked closely at his face and I could tell he was envisioning the scenes, as he would set them up as a Director.  I suddenly hear him say, ‘What a Dick” and his head gently shook back and forth in a “no” fashion.  I could not believe my eyes and ears.  Here is a person that has directed more than 15 Films and written over 30 Screenplays and he was visualizing my screenplay as a movie.

 

"At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable."   ---Christopher Reeve

When he finished reading my twenty-five pages, he sets it aside and asks me two questions.  He asks, you have never written a screenplay before.  I answer no.  He asks you have never worked in the film industry before.  I answer no.  He says Todd this is excellent.  You have a gift, it needs work, but you have a gift.  He added 90% of Film School graduates and aspiring writers do not have what you have.  The majority of these people know format and technique like you cannot believe.  However, they do not have the ability to tell a story.  That is what makes a successful screenplay is telling a good story.  If a director, producer or actor reads or is pulled into a great story it greatly increases the chances of that screenplay being made into a movie.  Todd, your formatting and technique are lagging, but your story telling is spot on.  Well done, I cannot wait to read more next week.

I was on a very big high that night.  However, I still believe it is a fools dream at best.  I am having a great time writing, learning and creating.  It has awakened all my senses.  It has given me a direction to focus and move towards in building my dreams.  I believe that the journey of working towards those dreams improves our lives most.  It is not necessarily capturing those dreams. 

Then a few nights ago, I read a story about a man who wrote about dreams having an expiration date.  He got a call that his Mother was in the Emergency Room and needed life saving surgery.  He raced to the hospital just as his Mother was wheeled into the operating room.  As he waited at the hospital, he reflected on his life as a child and his Mother’s life.  His Mother had given her all to her husband and children.  She had always put everyone else before herself.  He remembered her saying what she had always wanted to do.  When he would ask her why she does not do it, she would reply that as soon as you kids are grown.  Then after the kids were grown, she said as soon as your father retires.  Then it became the grandchildren and helping while us, (her children) pursued our dreams.  She did just that, assisted us with our children as we struggled financially to finish school and pursue our dreams.

This man writes, my Mother always taught us we are never too old to pursue our dreams.  No, we are not.  There is an old saying that we are not old until our regrets have replaced our dreams.  No, we are never too old to pursue our dreams and we should never give up on them.  However, at this very minute I realize that our dreams have an expiration date.  If my Mother does not survive this ordeal, her dreams will expire.  They will go unrealized without pursuit.  My Mother is in excellent condition and yet she is fighting for her life at this very moment.

My dear friends our dreams and desires do have expiration dates.  None of us knows exactly how long we have left in this life.  Each day we let pass without action, even if assisting others, puts us at risk of never pursuing our dreams or desires.  Even if just for a few minutes per day, the pursuit enlivens our senses.  We may not capture those dreams but the journey alone improves our lives in ways we cannot even imagine.  The longest journey begins with a single small step.  Take the journey and one small step at a time... pursue your dreams and desires.   

      

"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life"   ---Greg Anderson

 

"Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present."   ---Robert Conklin

 

"I've continued to recognize the power individuals have to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant. I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright."   ---Anthony Robbins

 

"There is hope in dreams, imagination, and in the courage of those who wish to make those dreams a reality."   ---Jonas Salk

 

 

 

Will You Marry Me

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."   ---Brandi Snyder

Today I had a rather amusing experience regarding someone’s engagement.  A young woman I have known for a few years, but have not looked upon for about eighteen months visited me today.  This young woman is now twenty years of age.  She always has a smile and a positive attitude.  Those two traits go very far with me.

During our conversation, she suddenly flashed her left hand.  Almost bursting with excitement, she blurts out the following.  Do you see anything different about my hand?  I respond that is a rather nice ring.  Again, bursting with joy she explains it is her engagement ring.

During the next twenty minutes she would go on and on about her fiancé, their pending marriage and how excited she is about getting married.  When she finished explaining it all to me, she asks if I will come to the wedding.  I respond with absolutely!  I would love to come to your wedding and meet your husband.  I end the conversation by asking when they are getting married so I can mark my calendar.  It took all I had not to spit out my gum in laughter when I heard her response.

We are getting married in the summer of 2017!

That is a precious moment in life.  Her heart pure, her mind and thoughts sincere.

"She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes: Thus mellow'd to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies."   ---Lord Byron

 

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."   ---Dr. Seuss or Robert Fulghum  (I have found several people being credited for this quote.)

Odds, Ends and Observations

"This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it." ---Ralph Waldo Emerson  

Time

 I have noticed that there simply are not enough hours in a day. I am amazed how some people make it look like there are 100 hours per day, while others, like me; make it look like there are 10. We all have the same amount of time every day, yet some people get an enormous amount of things done. Perhaps it comes down to organization and a list of daily goals.  

"There is no fate that plans men's lives. Whatever comes to us, good or bad, is usually the result of our own action or lack of action." ---- Herbert N. Casson  

Weight Loss

Weight loss is a lifetime endeavor. This is especially true for someone that once topped 430+ pounds on the scale. I continue to lose a few, gain a few, and lose a few. The more important thing right now for me is to be happy, confident and active. I am very excited that I have lost nearly 200 pounds and my life is vastly different and more exciting than it was three years ago. Still, I have a goal to lose a good chunk of this remaining weight before my High School Reunion in August. Yes, it is the famous hurry up and get skinny before you see all your pals from your teenage years. Now, if only I could afford hair transplants, lasik and a little botox. =)

"He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second and a third time till at length it becomes habitual." ---Thomas Jefferson  

Friends

I have some of the best friends a person could have. However, one very dear friend has decided that I am really not all that great. Shocking, I know… right? =) Truthfully, it is the same friend mentioned in an earlier post. We kind of restarted the friendship only to hit some rough waters and then he blew my ship to kingdom come with a firestorm I shall never forget. Odd, how someone you thought was your best friend could find the anger to unleash the foulest, harsh, hurtful and resonating words you have ever experienced. Yes, I did something that I should not have trying to help my friend. It is a valuable lesson learned. Not everyone in our lives is ready for or desires our assistance. Sometimes, people need to take their own journey alone. In addition, I have learned that no matter how bad things become in our lives that honesty and integrity rule. I am no exception and must always remember this.

 "You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither." ---Drew Carey 
"Sex is only a three letter word so how can it be dirty?" ---Erma Bombeck  

Sex

Wow! Who knew? =)  

"There are people who have money and people who are rich." ---Coco Chanel  

Money

 I need a money tree or printing press like the Government seems to have. There always seems to be far more month than money. My list of wants is huge. My list of needs is few. Perhaps a class in curbing desires is in order.  

"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life." ---Greg Anderson  

Dreams

The person that pursues their dreams and has an active plan is the person I admire most. Dreams come in all forms and are different for each of us. Pursuing ones dreams ignites a passion that is difficult to extinguish and spreads to other areas of life. Next week, I will be working with a Director/Writer in a one on one course to learn and absorb all I can about writing screenplays. This has been a secret desire I have had since college. I am grateful for the opportunity and look forward to the next six weeks as we work together. =)  

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ---Erma Bombeck  

Kids

I love them. I love mine most, but love them all. My kids brighten my day and make me smile. When they are in their beds at my home all feels right in the world. When they are not here, I have some anxiety and sadness. Divorce is difficult for a person that feels so deeply for their children. My amazing son is being harassed at his school and I approached his mother about coming to my home for school. We have an amazing situation for my son. He would excel here and have a network of friends that would create a lifetime of childhood fondness. His mother said no with no explanation offered. Does not surprise me, she is not the woman I once knew. I will always look at her with fondness and I try to focus on all the wonderful memories of our marriage, but moments when our child is clearly struggling and she cannot find the selflessness to give him the freedom he desires wears on us all. She has allowed him to participate in sports here and for that I am extremely grateful. When we are alone together, she seems like the woman I knew and loved for so many years. As soon as someone comes around, her demeanor changes and she becomes rude, impatient and accusatory. I will leave that to the more educated out there to figure that one out.  

"I married beneath me, all women do." ---Nancy Astor  

Anniversary

 I celebrated my one-year anniversary to my beautiful wife last week. It has been a year of growth. It was a year not void of challenges. We dated for four short months and married quickly. She had two children, I had two children and we all came together quickly. My wife is an amazing woman. She is one of those that seem to have 100 hours per day. She has organized me. I love her deeply and I am so grateful for her. She has so much love to offer. My children adore her, as do I. We experienced economic challenges, as have many. My wife is not one to ask for assistance and works harder than anyone I know. She simply amazes me and I am a very fortunate man. =)  

"Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." ---Henry James

Summer

The brown, lifeless grass and trees make way for brilliant shades of green. Brilliant blossoms of color show their glory and proudly wave to the world. The warm air gently caresses our skin and seems to make the human body look and feel more attractive. The mood seems to take on a sense of celebration and party. Weekends become great adventures as we all try to pack a week of activities into two days. No matter if, the adventure takes away from home or takes place in our own backyard, summer is magical. Summer makes humanity more attractive and vibrant.  

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream,realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game,play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, singit. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure,dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!" ---Mother Teresa

Laughed At or Laughed With

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures." ---Khalil Gibran

Warning: This post contains some crude moments, which may make you visualize something you do not care to visualize. Ye are warned.

Gasoline prices have mass transit companies very crowded. Our state is no different and my day job (sounds far more sexy than simply saying I work for) is actually working for a mass transit company in my state. Something happened last Friday that was shocking, funny and educational all in one.

I happened to be on a crowded bus and it was stopped at a signal light on a busy street. The wind blowing and on the far side of the intersection was a group of people at a bus stop waiting for us to arrive. Among this group were three adult women, three children and one adult male. Although the wind was blowing, it was unseasonably warm. I noticed that one adult woman was wearing very tight clothing. In fact, she was showing a great deal of skin. She was wearing a tube-top and the tightest dress pants I have ever seen. Her pants were so tight it was pushing her fat above the waist. I honestly wondered how she possibly got these pants buttoned or zipped. In addition, she was wearing high heels. Now, she was not enormous in size, nor was she unattractive. Due to the tube-top, her mid-section and her shoulders were bare.

The group was patiently waiting, when suddenly a piece of paper blew out of the hand of one of the children. The woman described above looked on in horror as the wind carried the paper into the middle of the intersection. Immediately, she began to move quickly towards the intersection. She ran quickly, high heels and all. Once in the middle of the intersection, her back towards the bus, she placed her foot on the piece of paper to keep it from blowing away again. Knowing she was holding up traffic and not in a safe place she quickly bent over to pick up the paper.

I am not sure which of the four fundamental forces came into play electromagnetism, strong interaction, weak interaction or gravitation. I was certain of the outcome. When this woman bent over in her extremely tight pants, they did not rip or split, but rather fell all the way to the ground right to her ankles. There she was bent over, rear facing us, in the center of the intersection, exposing her now very visible pink thong. Oddly, she had no idea she had lost her pants. She was busy keeping the paper from blowing away. I looked at the rest of her group and the remaining adults were laughing hysterically. People on the bus were shouting comments inside the bus and we were all laughing. She stood up and looked at her friends who were now shouting at her to look down. She looks down and realizes her pants are at her ankles. Embarrassed and flustered, she clumsily turns around to face the bus. In one quick motion, she slightly bends and reaches for her pants. Doing this threw her right back into the four fundamental forces. When she quickly reached her arms down in a slight bending and twisting motion, it managed to drag her tube-top right down to her waist. Did I mention she was now facing the busload of people?

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter." ---Mark Twain

The people on the bus were laughing and one woman makes a comment, she is losing everything. This resulted in more laughter. Finally, she manages to gather her clothes and move out of the intersection. Now, I am thinking to myself that there is no way she is going to get on this bus. She will certainly wait for the next one, hoping she would never see anyone on that bus again. Wrong again, as she boards the bus with her group. This is where the educational part of the story enters. Standing at the front of the bus, with people laughing and a few people making wise comments, she speaks. Looking at us all without any fear, she says, hi ya all my name is Christina. I thought you should have a name to go with that image that is now stuck in your mind. The entire bus erupted into laughter, which was led by her laughter. This remarkable woman knew the wise meaning of it is better to laugh with, than be laughed at. It is the best way I have ever witnessed anyone handle complete embarrassment and humiliation. Her comments drew people to her and made the ongoing and certain harassment stop instantly. It was very well handled.

"Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously." ---Og Mandino

"We pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail. But fail with wit, fail with grace, fail with style. A mediocre failure is as insufferable as a mediocre success. Embrace failure! Seek it out. Learn to love it. That may be the only way any of us will ever be free. Tom Robbins Before you give up hope, turn back and read the attacks that were made on Lincoln." ---Bruce Barton