The Journey Continues

"Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome."   ---Arthur Ashe

It all begins today!  Beginning at Noon Pacific time I embark on a six month journey of education.  It will be difficult, fun, educational and empowering.  Today, I begin a six-month course for writers.  It is a very busy course with daily assignments, critique and confidence building.  Taught by those that have done it and taken the journey before me.

It is not for the faint of heart and I have already learned that I will get out of this course what I put forth.  I am bursting at the seems with excitement.  Sadly, most people in my life have little or no interest in it whatsoever.  They find my talking about it extremely boring and many times just tune me out.  I guess that leaves the unseen cyber world as my confidant.

I will be extremely busy, but hope to stop by now and then to share my experiences, successes, failures and excitement.  It is the journey that excites me.  You never know where the journey may lead.  

"The journey has been incredible from its beginning."   ---Sidney Poitier

"It's a life's journey of finding ourselves, finding our power, and living for yourself, not for everyone else."   ---Mariska Hargitay

"The person born with a talent they are meant to use will find their greatest happiness in using it."   ---Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Where Have All The Leaders Gone

"Leadership is unlocking people's potential to become better."   ---Bill Bradley

I ventured out today on a date with my wife and viewed the movie Lincoln.  As a student of screenwriting and movie making, I am sure this movie is embellished somewhat for entertainment purposes.  I am no history expert on the life or actions of President Lincoln and I am sure he had many faults, as we all do.  However, what I do know of his life and his Presidency it leaves me with the question of what has happened to real leaders in this country?

 

It seems to me in today's world that politicians on both sides are more yes people to the rich and corporate entities that support them than they are leaders.  Our current President is so ripe with potential and ability and squanders it with inflexibility and party lines that his potential is lost.  His most recent challenger in the election is another potential great leader that could not get over his own prejudice and education that he became extremely intolerant.  Neither man has lived up to their true potential and shown real leadership.  

 

"Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes."   ---Peter Drucker

 

Today's leaders are intolerant of anyone with beliefs other than their own.  During my life I have not witnessed one President that has demonstrated true leadership.  In my opinion, both political parties in America are way off track and intolerant of one another.  Any party that caters to one side more than the other is certainly biased and unfair.  The so called Tea Party is nauseating to say the least.  Radio talk shows fuel and feed this intolerant, inflexible type of behavior.  

 

I am not a member of either political party and do not favor one side more than the other.  I wonder what happened to responsibility.  Everyone in politics wants a balanced budget, but scoffs at it if it hits their own back yard.  NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) is the way of politics.  Every politician wants to cut spending as long as it is done in another state.  Would fairness not support an equal cut across the board to all programs in equal amounts?

 

Where is a President that stands before the people and says, we are in trouble, we need to change, we all need to sacrifice.  Where is the President that bails out the people and not the Corporations or Banks.  Where is the President that says we are going to let the banking and real estate sectors solve their own problems, but we have set up programs to ensure no one starves or goes homeless.  Does the money not belong to the people?  Where is the President that looks Congress in the eye and states he will not sign a budget with a deficit.  Where is the President that stands before the people and answers to the people and not to the financial supporters of their election.  

 

Where have all the leaders gone?

  

 

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."   ---Abraham Lincoln   

Superbowl or Super Waste

"Tonight I plan on having such an awesome night, Morgan Freeman should narrate it."   ---Author Unknown

The Superbowl of 2013!  Was it super or a super waste of time?  On my drive home from the game I was shocked at the amount of traffic on the road on their way home from Superbowl parties and gatherings.  I wondered if every city in every state looked like this at this moment.  There was far more traffic on the roads following the Superbowl than I have ever seen following Fourth of July celebrations.  That is a great many parties taking place around this grand country.

I have to admit, I am a Superbowl party enthusiast.  I believe everyone should have or attend a Superbowl party.  In America one of the things we do best is come together as family, friends and neighbors and celebrate.  We do it often, but not nearly often enough.

I must admit that as the day approached I was somewhat depressed, because our 60+ inch television is having difficulties.  Procrastination led to not getting it repaired in time for the big game to host my own party.  I know, I know, as popular as I think I am there should have been multiple Superbowl party invites.  Sadly, there were none.  Sure, I could venture to a Sports Grill and watch the big game, but that takes the fun out of it for me.  It's not just a game, it's a grand celebration and should be done with someone you know or love.  What to do.

Getting out of church just two hours before the big game, I gave my undivided attention to finding a party for my family to attend.  Just who's party shall we crash?

"Life is all about learning lessons and counting blessings!"   ---Author Unknown 

In years past many Superbowl parties were held at my parents home.  Many family members would attend and it would be a grand feast!  We would have drawings, games and prizes.  It made for great times and greater memories.  My Father passed away last August and I was certain my Mother was going to one of my Sister's homes for their grand party.  I guess all things eventually come to an end.

Before making the final decision on the party I would crash, I phoned my 82 year-old Mother.  I asked her where she was going for the Superbowl?  She replied... nowhere.  I asked who was coming to her home for the Superbowl.  She replied... no one.  The phone filled with silence.  How could this be?  How could the woman that hosted such grand Superbowl parties not be attending one, nor hosting one.  I asked, do you mind if we come to your home for the Superbowl?  Her enthusiastic yes was followed by, I have no food.  I replied that was not a problem.  On our way we stopped off at the grocery store and loaded up with food and snacks.  We made it to her home thirty-minutes before kick-off.

My Mother lit-up when we entered her home and it was evident that she enjoyed the company.  It was a very valuable lesson for this arrogant guy.  Superbowl parties are not a waste at all.  In fact, they are just the opposite.  They are an incredible opportunity to reach out to our fellow citizens and bring a few hours of joy to all of us.  Loneliness is a very real thing in many people's lives.  I should never have assumed that my Mother was going to be taken care of and invited to a party.  In fact, in the years to come, after my sweet Mother leaves this Earth; I will do my best to find someone that would otherwise be left out to attend our party or take the party to them.

The Superbowl is a football game.  It is also a showcase for wonderful, fun commercials and a unique half-time show.  Most of all, the Superbowl is a party for all of us to love, laugh and show friendship to one another.  It is an opportunity to celebrate life and reach out to others.  

"Sometimes I feel like the last cookie in the cookie jar; broken and alone."   ---Author Unknown

"The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love."   ---Henry Miller

Gone Missing and Self-Doubt

 JULIET
 O think'st thou we shall ever meet again? 

 ROMEO
 I doubt it not; and all these woes shall serve
 For sweet discourses in our time to come.

I actually had to search for my own blog.  It has been awhile since I posted here.  Much has gone on in my life in recent months, some great and some not so great.  Overall, it has been the most wonderful thing each of us is blessed with, living a life.

This past summer was a good summer filled with fun times, great friends and wonderful memories.  It was great to spend a great deal more time with my wife and children during the summer.  I had the great opportunity to attend my High School Reunion where I reconnected with many wonderful friends of the past.  I really did have a great time.

Sadly, as my last post indicates, my Father passed away this past summer as well.  My Mother is still feeling the deep sense of loss and loneliness following a sixty-year marriage.  I am in awe of their ability to keep their marriage together for so long, something I will never experience.  Unless, I manage to live to be 106 years-old and my wife does not toss me out.

I took on a new job.  I decided to return to Rail Road and earned my Locomotive Engineer’s License.  It is a fun job, albeit somewhat stressful.  I have never experienced in my life a stressful moment like that which comes with the controls of a train and a human placing themselves in front of that train by accident or by design.  The Engineer does all they can to preserve that person’s life, but in the end, the Engineer is really just a spectator to a horrific event.
 
I started a hobby.  This hobby is a great deal of fun for me.  I have to be careful because I could completely spend too much time with this hobby.  Truth be told, I wish it were a career more than a hobby.  This hobby consumed the time that I used to spend on this blog.  I wrote a complete screenplay using a logline that was created for a contest.  This tested my creativity and story telling abilities.  Hearing a logline for the first time and then creating an entire story and screenplay from that logline is challenging.  The logline is a short sentence or phrase explaining the screenplay or movie. 

“A 17th Century tale of adventure on the Caribbean Sea where the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow joins forces with a young blacksmith in a gallant attempt to rescue the Governor of England’s daughter and reclaim his ship” … Pirates of the Caribbean.   

The above logline is what the screenplay writers used to write or describe the movie.  Many times writers or aspiring writers have an idea about a movie and have mapped out the details in their minds for years.  When someone provides a logline for you, it is not something you have worked on or thought of and this is where you find if you really have any talent as a writer.  It was challenging and a great deal of fun.
 
I have learned that I am not nearly as thick-skinned as I would like to be.  I have shown only two people and both really liked my screenplay.  One of those is a Film Director and they have encouraged me to market this and see if it can be sold.  My thoughts on the matter are it was an excellent training and education.  Self-doubt is a killer of many dreams and denies the world of many great experiences. 
 

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”   …Sylvia Plath

Today my imagination was stirred when I was visiting my Mother and watched a program with her called “The Chew”.  On this episode, an actor named Andrew McCarthy was on the cooking segment.  The Chef was telling the audience about Andrew’s newest job of writing segments for National Geographic Travel and other writing jobs for traveling the world.  The Chef asked Andrew if he had gone to school or obtained great amounts of education in obtaining the new job.  Andrew said that he simply discovered he had a passion for traveling and writing.  Following what he did for his acting passion, he found a way to turn his passion into an income.  He is now paid for doing what he loves.  Andrew McCarthy, job well done for pursuing your passions that ultimately leads to people’s enjoyment.  May we all learn to be so bold and brave to follow our passions and dreams.  

"It's heartbreaking to see so many people trapped in a web of enforced idleness, deep debt, and gnawing self-doubt"   ...William J. Clinton

"Self-doubt kills talent"   ...Edie McClurg

"I found my first novel difficult. I don't want to make it sound like it's any more difficult than driving a cab or going to any other job, but there are so many opportunities for self-doubt, that you just kind of need to soldier on"   ...Anthony Doerr

Father Laid To Rest

"I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect."   ---Adam Sandler

 

http://www.funeralrecording.com/index.cfm?pageid=172&lid=3793

 

Patrick Jay Hurley Sr.  05/13/1930 - 08/21/2012

 

 

 

Many people assist in the shaping and molding of our lives.  There is none more influential than our parents are.  Good or bad, our parents play a vital role in the person we become.  The amazing and daunting thing about being a parent is realizing that everything we do or do not do is a lesson to our children. 

Looking back on my childhood, I have many wonderful and amazing memories.  My mother was and is a saint.  Nearly every compassionate bone in my being is a direct result of my mother’s unconditional love, kindness, charity and gentleness.  My father was a great person, albeit rough around the edges.  Looking back at my life with him, I have many fond memories.

Sadly, my relationship with my father was lacking due to one troublesome character trait.  My father had a very foul temper at times.  I am not the only one that had to endure this temper, but all six of my siblings and my mother as well.  Speaking for myself only, once I reached my teenage years I never felt completely at ease around my father.  He did not abuse me or physically harm me in any way.  Just those angry, foul and loud rare occasions left their mark.  Even when my father became very weak and frail, he occasionally lost it, taking my right back to the frightened child I was during those moments.  An uncomfortable feeling would engulf me.    

Amazingly, these rare occasions also contained valuable lessons for me.  Every time I get angry with my children, I remember my childhood and this helps me be more patient and more understanding.  In my father’s defense, I have been told he had it much worse than I did as a child. 

My father had a difficult childhood and unlike me, never really had a support line.  His father abandoned him, his mother and siblings.  My father literally had to carve his own way in life without anyone assisting him.  Every time in my life when I have fallen on my butt, my parents were there to pick me up, dust me off and send me on my way.  My father had no such support.  He succeeded or he failed, but he was the one that picked himself up.  He did this with a wife and seven children.  Amazingly, he did not fail much.  I never remember a time when we were ever in need or lacking in all the things required for a wonderful life. 

My father was fearless and carved out his life with gusto.  I had the awesome experience of traveling to Mexico many, many times with my father.  The man simply was fearless.  No matter what obstacles he faced in a foreign land, he pushed through them, all the while not knowing the language spoken.  I remember one such trip with my father.  I was a teenager and we were pulled over in Mexico by law enforcement.  It was a simple traffic violation of speeding slightly.  The officer did not speak English and we did not speak Spanish.  He made my father get out of the car and it looked as though he was making him get into the police car.  My father looked at me and I am sure all kinds of thoughts rushed through his head.  He looked at the officer and then reached into his wallet and handed the officer a twenty-dollar bill.  I was extremely frightened at that sight.  The officer smiled, took the twenty and shook my father’s hand.  The officer then proceeded to give us an escort to the location we were headed. 

So many stories and experiences are positive.  My father was a very good man.  I know that my father loved my mother, my siblings and me.  My brother and I spoke at his service today and it shall once again be one of the fond moments of my experience with my father.  Mother should you ever read this, I love you and I am deeply saddened for your loss.  Sixty years you were by my father’s side and for the past five years, you cared for him, many times on your own.  You are a saint and Patrick hit the lottery when he found you.  Father, I thank you from the deepest, most sincere part of my soul.  I heard and learned all that you had to teach.  Those harsh times and harsh moments… water under the bridge.  I will miss you. 

"Harsh words of the past replaced with gentle tears on his face. A final breath breathed, then a still, silent heart. Many lessons taught, some very good and a few were very bad. Through it all though, I was a damn lucky lad, for in today's world I was one of the few with a supportive Dad."   ---Todd Hurley   

 

The Garbot Principle

 

"We can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you."   ---Mark Twain

I heard a talk recently about a life principle in which the speaker referred to as the Garbot Principle.  I thought it had an odd ring to it and when I learned that his teenage daughter coined the phrase, it made sense. 

The speaker spoke of his daughter when she was a young child, saying she never threw anything away.  Year after year, her bedroom would be so cluttered because she would not allow anyone to throw out her old toys or clothes.  It reminded me of the person that suffers from hoarding.  A hoarder can have a very difficult life.  However, this child was not really a hoarder, but more along the lines of a recycler. 

As this young girl grew into her teenage years, she was an exceptionally creative person.  She excelled at decorating and clever with crafts.  Her imagination would bring a great smile to her parents.

One afternoon she came to her parents and told them she was working on a project and needed complete privacy in the workshop area.  They allowed her this privacy.  Several weeks later, she came to them with a concealed box and said her project was inside.  Excitedly, she asked them if they would like to see her creation.  Of course, they wanted to see what their inventive teenager had created.  After opening the box, she pulled out a Robot.  Their daughter had constructed a robot and it looked eerily familiar to them.  The excited teenager informed them that she made this robot entirely from the garbage out of the trashcan and named it appropriately Garbot.  They realized it looked familiar because many of the parts of this robot came from the garbage they discarded from their lives.  They were thrilled with her creativity.

Jumping ahead a few years her Mother was assisting her in cleaning her room.  Because she recycles so many things, she often had clutter.  This time something was different, the smell in her room was awful.  They continued to clean the room and the smell remained.  Finally, the room clean, the smell remaining, her Mother looked under the bed.  There hiding under the bed was a bag.  Her Mother pulled the bag out from under the bed and revealed a trash bag that the young woman had taken from the family trashcan.  It was the source of the smell.  Both of her parents asked her why she would do such a thing.  They asked why she would retrieve trash and place it in her bedroom.  Her answer was that inside the trash bag were valuable items, not all of them were worthy of becoming trash and so lightly discarded.  Her belief is that among the trash were items of great value.

Her Father took several days to reflect upon her comments.  In the days to come, he would talk to her about the Garbot Principle.  This principle is keeping the harmful trash in our lives because we believe hidden among the trash are items of value.  He explained that even something of value, if laden with harmful trash can destroy a life.  He taught his daughter that the Garbot Principle goes way beyond trash and recycling.  It applies to all areas of our lives.  The food we eat, the music we listen to, the movies we watch, the beverages we drink, even the language we use.  He explained that almost everything that is trash has some value; however, it also has the ability to destroy our lives.  The worst food we can eat has nutrition in it.  Sugar cereals add vitamins and minerals to make the trashy cereal have value.  Movies with great messages are cluttered with nudity or foul language.  The examples he mentioned were many. 

So many things in our lives that actually have harmful repercussions, we hold onto because we see something of value.  I know as I examine my own life that there are so many things that I continue to keep in my life because I see something of such small value.  I do not want to admit that the bulk of these things are actually more harmful than good.  The Garbot Principle is to let go of harmful things, habits and behaviors regardless of some value if the majority of it is trash. 

"You may be able to get away with bad habits 10 times. But all it takes is one time and the law of averages catches up with you."   ---Jay Ofsanik

 

 

"The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones."   ---W. Somerset Maugham

          

A Simple Thought

I read this thought the other day and I thought I would share it.

"If you are not moving towards something you want or desire, everything you want or desire is moving away from you."