"I
never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or
shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't
perfect."
Many people assist in the shaping and molding of our lives. There is none more influential than our parents
are. Good or bad, our parents play a
vital role in the person we become. The
amazing and daunting thing about being a parent is realizing that everything we
do or do not do is a lesson to our children.
Looking back on my childhood, I have many wonderful and
amazing memories. My mother was and is a
saint. Nearly every compassionate bone
in my being is a direct result of my mother’s unconditional love, kindness,
charity and gentleness. My father was a
great person, albeit rough around the edges.
Looking back at my life with him, I have many fond memories.
Sadly, my relationship with my father was lacking due to one
troublesome character trait. My father
had a very foul temper at times. I am
not the only one that had to endure this temper, but all six of my siblings and
my mother as well. Speaking for myself
only, once I reached my teenage years I never felt completely at ease around my
father. He did not abuse me or
physically harm me in any way. Just
those angry, foul and loud rare occasions left their mark. Even when my father became very weak and
frail, he occasionally lost it, taking my right back to the frightened child I
was during those moments. An
uncomfortable feeling would engulf me.
Amazingly, these rare occasions also contained valuable
lessons for me. Every time I get angry
with my children, I remember my childhood and this helps me be more patient and
more understanding. In my father’s defense,
I have been told he had it much worse than I did as a child.
My father had a difficult childhood and unlike me, never
really had a support line. His father
abandoned him, his mother and siblings.
My father literally had to carve his own way in life without anyone assisting
him. Every time in my life when I have fallen
on my butt, my parents were there to pick me up, dust me off and send me on my
way. My father had no such support. He succeeded or he failed, but he was the one
that picked himself up. He did this with
a wife and seven children. Amazingly, he
did not fail much. I never remember a
time when we were ever in need or lacking in all the things required for a
wonderful life.
My father was fearless and carved out his life with
gusto. I had the awesome experience of
traveling to Mexico
many, many times with my father. The man
simply was fearless. No matter what
obstacles he faced in a foreign land, he pushed through them, all the while not
knowing the language spoken. I remember one
such trip with my father. I was a
teenager and we were pulled over in Mexico by law enforcement. It was a simple traffic violation of speeding
slightly. The officer did not speak
English and we did not speak Spanish. He
made my father get out of the car and it looked as though he was making him get
into the police car. My father looked at
me and I am sure all kinds of thoughts rushed through his head. He looked at the officer and then reached
into his wallet and handed the officer a twenty-dollar bill. I was extremely frightened at that
sight. The officer smiled, took the
twenty and shook my father’s hand. The
officer then proceeded to give us an escort to the location we were headed.
So many stories and experiences are positive. My father was a very good man. I know that my father loved my mother, my
siblings and me. My brother and I spoke
at his service today and it shall once again be one of the fond moments of my
experience with my father. Mother should
you ever read this, I love you and I am deeply saddened for your loss. Sixty years you were by my father’s side and
for the past five years, you cared for him, many times on your own. You are a saint and Patrick hit the lottery
when he found you. Father, I thank you
from the deepest, most sincere part of my soul.
I heard and learned all that you had to teach. Those harsh times and harsh moments… water
under the bridge. I will miss you.
"Harsh words of the past replaced with gentle
tears on his face. A final breath breathed, then a still, silent heart.
Many lessons taught, some very good and a few were very bad. Through
it all though, I was a damn lucky lad, for in today's world I was one of
the few with a supportive Dad." ---Todd Hurley
